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Turtle is very aware of how his alts are having lots of sex. He's not opposed to them having sex. Actually, he supports it completely. They'd fuck him, too, if he were a woman. Except, he's not, so they won't - and vice versa. He's not into women, they're not into men. He's not particularly upset with them about this, but he does want to fix this obvious problem.

He heads to Prime's world.

"Hey," he says. "I need you to do something."
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"... What is the something?"

No, don't worry about it, Turtle. Just barge right into his house and demand something of him, that's fine.
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"Well. Okay, you're looking for other versions of us, right?"

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"Yes?"

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"But, sometimes we don't look the same."

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"Correct. Please tell me you have something more to do than stating the obvious to me?"

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"Well! You should look for other versions of me. Since I'm a special snowflake so far. Bet you can also find my twin like that, too."

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"That... Is a good idea."

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"Isn't it?" Pause. "Also I need a fuckbuddy, none of the girl-me's are takers for obvious reasons."

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Prime sighs. "Of course you do."

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"It's a problem! All of the other me's get kickass hot chicks to fuck, and I don't have any matching men!"

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"Your priorities are delightful."

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"Fun, too. C'mon, c'mon, do the scrying thing, old and cranky Edarial! I want to meet a man me!"

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"Fine, I have some free time," sighs Prime. "Shoo, this won't be very interesting while I'm looking."

Retirement? What's that? No one has time for those.
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"Mirror me when you find him!"

And off trots Turtle.
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Prime rolls his eyes. He does some scrying.

And then, quite predictably, he finds a Zev. A male one.

He retrieves various mirror sets and informs everyone in their network of magic mirrors of this fact.
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"Okay, cool, maybe send one of these mirrors with the letter? In case this one is fresh out of some harrowing adventures and trigger-happy? We didn't attack you but it was kind of a near thing, the mirror will allow non-attacky communication."

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"I can dig up a spare set. Somewhere."

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"Er. Problem. We just went to Medallion, I don't know about you but I'm still not topped off on mana."

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"Yeah, why were you alt-hunting this soon?"

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"Turtle - Zevros, whichever - asked -"

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In the background of Rain and Katydid's mirror, there is a maniacal cackling.

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"FUCK YES!"

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"Congratulations, Zevros. Now you get to wait for several days while the mages collect more mana before you get to meet your new alt. I'm sure you'll be very patient."

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"Damn it."

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"... We do have siblings," points out Prime. "If you could convince your alts to help you get to another male you, then it could be sooner."

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