"It's probably like sort of callous to go 'here's used to it' but like it is. Same as how here doesn't have dungeons and you'd have to change around a bunch of stuff to accommodate them if they started."

She nods seriously.

...Julien hugs Haru tighter.

yaaaaay hugs. "Did you manage to sleep to the - action plot outline lullaby -"

"Uh, some.  I just wasn't that tired, though.  I mean, kind of, I got a couple hours, but I'm kind of worried I'm going to be sleep-wanting in the car and now you'll be up the whole time, and this will cause a problem.  And cars aren't so good for cuddling..."

"I can probably sleep in the car. I'm not sleeping amazing, I have dreams about, like, the universe dying around me while I'm on the phone with a customer service robot, or wandering through deserted cities and I pick up books and they're gibberish, and it's not very restful."

"Huh.  Does the guiding help?"

"Yeah, but on the level of, that's a slightly less distressing nightmare, not, what a totally normal nap I just had."

"Oh.  ...I had some thoughts about guiding."

"...okay?"

"It's that - this much would be fine if we were just lying around, but clearly there is some sort of actual danger here, and - even in a car there's way less contact possible than like this, and... there's more than one way for awakening to kill people.  And I kind of feel close to being sane enough to handle this, right now, because we've just been lying around guiding and also nothing is happening?  But it won't stay like that.  And it kind of feels like - you weren't willing to do things that are only a little bad for you that might end up saving my life.  And that I couldn't really ask for you to try and save my life without being a horrible person in one way or another.  Which - is bad, or something - it's definitely bad in some ways to feel that and maybe also bad in some others, but.  That's what I was feeling."

"So like. I will almost certainly survive the experience with a healthy margin for error if you talk me into kissing you. But I'm very much guessing about that because that's a thing about me and how I'm put together that I have not really contemplated extensively before because I didn't expect to awaken and it's not my kink or whatever. I can't remember it and can't figure it out fresh because my figuring myself out is broken. I would be metaphorically juggling flaming torches without the capacity to feel temperature or pain and very badly distracted by unrelated discomfort. Seems kind of like a dumb thing to do."

"Then we shouldn't do that!!!"

"... okay."

"Does this also apply to spitting."

"You realize that this won't stick. Nothing sticks during awakening. The amount of maintenance spitting you're implying if you are trying to achieve a backlash level any better than this and keep it throughout a car trip is not just nauseating but dehydrating."

No, he didn't.  It just feels like there has to be something he can do - he can see his death coming at him in so many different ways, and many of them caused by himself - it's insane, it's not sane to be this upset that someone won't spit in his mouth, and that's like the most harmless thing currently available to not be sane about, because Haru can't even want to go away from him because of it -

"... Julien? I'm sorry -"

Squeeze.  "Me too."

Oh good he has not irretrievably offended him. Hug.

"- Hm."  Svetka has been on her phone.

"Hm? Are you about to announce that you found a car with superspy safety features that will let us snuggle while transported, that would be a trick."

"No.  I've discovered an attempt to regain control of me."  She goes to show them her phone but then maybe remembers that Haru can't read.  "I have been cloned."

"Fucked up. Recently?"

"She looks perhaps six."