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anakin's dream come true
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Anakin takes a similar form to Shmi, after. Then, her appointment - the conclusion that she likely should try medication, though it's still ambiguous if the crux of the issue is closer to psychosis and hallucination, or to dissociation, or to anxiety and obsession, or to mood disorders. The mind healer cautions them - both Anakin and Elesse - that there often aren't discrete lines here. That the Force complicates things. But - it seems decently likely Anakin has a bit of all four. (That's common, too, especially when dissociation is in the mix.) She doesn't have anything that's been specifically defined, that can be diagnosed with genetic testing or blood samples or brain scans - but they at least have a decent idea of what initial interventions will help. The mind healer has Elesse work with Anakin on clearing toxins from her body, too, before they start medications - in case Anakin has an adverse reaction of any kind.

Anti-anxiety medications are the first ones they start Anakin on; even if the problem is something else - she's having at least some anxiety, and that tends to make everything worse. They do help a little, especially with the physical symptoms, once they narrow down to a medication that doesn't make Anakin drowsy. They don't fix everything.

(Most of the medications take at least a few weeks to evaluate; Anakin's issue is complex, and she seems increasingly likely to be on some medication roulette or another for the rest of her time as a padawan, even if they get lucky. It's not a very pleasant course, and the anti-psychotic roulette Anakin starts after the anti-anxiety roulette is significantly worse. They're able to find classes of drugs that help very quickly - the genetic testing was good for that - but adverse reactions are still hard to predict. The best one sees Anakin put on an antidepressant to control its side effects, and then a mood stabilizer to control that's side effects. (Both the antidepressant and mood stabilizer seem to be independently helping Anakin's occasional difficulties with emotional regulation, at least, and the antidepressant helps her memory and her rare headaches.))

(It becomes increasingly obvious Anakin has a dissociative disorder, on top of everything else going on. They don't have treatments for that, not directly, and dissociation is hard to predict or describe or classify, especially in Force users. The other medications pick away at the edges, though, reduce triggers for episodes, and make Anakin's ongoing work in therapy and with Elesse much easier.)

Anakin improves, though. She's happier, less worried. Her focus and energy and ability to make decisions without mentally freezing all improve rather dramatically, even early on. She doesn't try to offload her decisions onto Elesse nearly as often, and responds better to encouragement to stand on her own two feet. Her paranoia wanes and then nearly vanishes. The obsessive tendencies don't decline as fast, but Anakin gets better and better able to break herself out of spirals, and more responsive to outside help with those. Her memory improves, at least in terms of new memories she's making - they twist less in her head even when she's emotional about them, and the older memories don't clear as much, but she's able to stop a lot of the ongoing clouding. She's better able to look at her own mind without flinching away. She grows less impulsive, too, though that comes in fits and starts. She sleeps better, more regularly. The critical voices quiet down over time, though she still has moments where her mind slips towards them - but she can handle those, now, especially with help

So.

It's tough, but they're getting through it.

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It's good to see her padawan's improvements. She should have thought of this a long time ago. Elesse keeps them on Coruscant while her medications are being initially sorted out, and makes sure that the missions they do take are short enough that they can easily return. No more long-term undercover assignments. (They hear about the results of their last one- it turns out several Senators were implicated, and have been impeached and replaced.)

Elesse finishes her own post-mission processing. And decides that- if Anakin wants to, she'll supervise her hurting herself before meditations.

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She wants to.

She's gotten stable enough now that it's more soothing, less a thing she needs to grasp for some regulation. She's careful with it, favoring things like candle flames and shallow scratches. More painful than dangerous.

It's nice.

(Though Anakin sometimes gets a little bit frustrated about wanting more. This might be what Kalra's complaining about whenever she whines about not having gotten laid in a while. Except Anakin is getting laid so this is very unfair of her body.)

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If Elesse experiences similar frustration watching Anakin (she never helps Anakin hurt herself)- she's at least better at hiding it.

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Anakin never brings it up, if she does notice something.

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Better for both of them that way. At least until Anakin makes Knight.

Which, as they begin to take longer missions again, doesn't seem too far away.

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Not too far at all. 

Anakin's ready, almost dizzyingly soon. 

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Elesse is very proud. It's been an honor to be her teacher.

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Not as much as it's been an honor to be Elesse's student. 

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A good thing she stopped to break her out of that Hutt's prison a decade ago.

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The best decision Anakin's ever made.

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