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anakin's dream come true
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Nod.

Yeah. 

But being around Elesse helps, a lot. It's harder to worry when she has an anchor.

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"A reminder that not all the galaxy bends to the thoughts in your head?"

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She laughs, helplessly. 

"A reminder that my brain is wrong, sometimes."

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Pat pat. "Brains can do that."

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"Mine seems to do it a lot."

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"Not everyone talks about it when it happens to them."

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"Yeah."

"But - your brain doesn't do this, right? Or - not as much..."

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"My meditations help. Sorting out which thoughts I endorse, and which I don't while I'm calm helps me recognize them at other times."

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"Yeah. That helps a lot, but..."

"I know the thoughts are wrong a lot? But - they get louder and louder when I'm not - distracted, or when I'm upset. And. It's hard to have my own thoughts when they're yelling at me. And sometimes it's like - I know they're wrong but no one informed my feelings about that."

"And... I dunno. Meditation doesn't always make them quiet for long. Sometimes doesn't even make them quiet while I'm meditating. They - sometimes it feels like they get mad at me if I ignore them, even though that idea is utterly crazy."

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"Have you thought about speaking with a dedicated mind-healer? Or a psychiatrist outside the Jedi?"

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"...Do you - think I need to?"

She really does not want this to be a 'see a psychiatrist' issue and not a 'meditate better' issue. She's kind of afraid it might be a psychiatrist thing though. And... That's been keeping her from - looking at her brain that way, maybe. 

Anakin wanting the world to be a certain way doesn't make it magically transform. 

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"It could help. I may be seeing one myself for a few sessions after a mission like this."

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...Slow nod. 

"I'll - do a few sessions at least. See if - if I think I need more, after."

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"Fair."

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Snuggle.

"...Today's been - long." 

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"It has been. We can rest early, tonight."

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"Yeah."

She wants to cuddle, still. At least for tonight. 

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"For tonight, we can."

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"Thanks."

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"You're welcome, Anakin."

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Lean.

"When are we getting to Coruscant?"

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"About two days."

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She nods. 

Time to rest before they need to worry about putting together their report, then. (Reporting this is going to be... Complicated, probably.)

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"We can work on it together."

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Nod and snuggle. 

...Anakin's kind of reluctant to even mention the torture, though she might feel differently once she's slept. 

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