The fact that Lan Xichen keeps bringing this up is sort of making Masozi feel like actually he does mind Masozi having a crush! It's definitely not making it any less confusing to figure out what's going on in this conversation. 

"Mmm," he says. 

He is going to give Masozi a hug and be quiet unless Masozi asks something.

Masozi is really tempted to just ask outright if Lan Xichen has a crush on him like Wei Wuxian thought, but his tongue feels stuck to the roof of his mouth when he tries, and he's...not sure he actually wants to know the answer. 

After a minute or two of silence, he tugs away. "I - thank you. That's all I'd wanted to tell you, I think." 

"All right. Good luck."

"Thank you," Masozi says, a bit stiffly. "I....think I want to go study in my room instead of the reading room now." He's having the odd sense that he isn't going to be able to figure out what his feelings are until he's not being observed. 

"It-- look like something is bothering you and you seem confused?"

Aaaaaaaaaaaaah??? Can he just flee to his room anyway before he has to try to answer that question? 

He shouldn't do that. Lan Xichen...probably isn't mad right now, although something about his manner is setting Masozi's instincts on edge, but just running away would be rude and he might get mad at that point even if he isn't yet. 

He takes a deep breath. "I...feel like you're telling me it's okay and normal but then you - seem to not be happy talking about it? I don't know. And you keep saying it's okay but then you say that it'll probably go away and I'll have a crush on someone else, and...I guess that kind of makes me feel like you're not actually okay with it, and like - maybe you would be mad except you think it'd be bad to hurt me so you're not letting yourself? And I don't - like it - if you're pretending not to have feelings to me, even if it's because you don't want me to get hurt. It - makes it too hard to understand how things actually work." 

"I'm-- worried that if I explain everything involved you don't understand it, maybe because I am bad at explaining to someone who doesn't have the-- background-- I have, and you are scared and confused. I promise I'm not angry at you and if I am I tell you. --In six months I explain maybe?"

Masozi doesn't really understand, but maybe at this point he should just try to get used to not-understanding things, and in six months all the pieces will start fitting into place? 

"Okay," he says quietly. He doesn't look happy about it but he's less clearly distressed, now. 

"I'm sorry. If I can explain it to you I do?"

"Okay," Masozi says again, quietly. "I - are there things I can learn about by reading books, or asking Nie Huaisang or Wei Wuxian or other people, so that I would - know the background that I don't know right now?" 

"I think Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian are good people to ask." Or, like, better than him at any rate.

"Mmm. Thank you." 

Masozi still feels like this conversation didn't go as planned? This is maybe a stupid way to feel, though, since he's....not sure that he really had a plan for it in the first place. And also he wants Lan Xichen to be the one who can make smart strategic decisions, and probably from his angle it doesn't seem strategic to either go out with Masozi OR to tell him that he's not allowed to have crush feelings, and so here they are.... 

This helps with the part where his chest aches, but for some reason it doesn't really make him feel any less confused. 

He takes a deep breath. "I'm....really glad that - you're a person who exists?" Now that he's said it out loud, it sounds kind of ridiculous as a sentence? ....He's still pretty sure it's the best way he can think of to say the feeling that he has using words, though. 

There's the conspicuous absence of the desire to kiss him.

"I'm really glad you're a person who exists too."