Oct 28, 2021 10:55 AM
Dream SMP has a visit from a goddess
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"Yes."

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"Then, no. That is not how math works."

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"Oh. Well, yes it is. I solved math the other day so now math's my bitch."

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"... Also not how math works. You do not solve math once and then have it solved forever, just like you do not say a sentence and then have written every book ever."

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"I did that too! Do you want to read it."

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"Tommy, you are not showing Yvette How To Sex."

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"Then how will she know!!!! It's important, Sam."

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"Honestly, I'm kind of impressed that you haven't lost it yet."

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".....................................actually Yvette I will not be showing you How To Sex even though I totally wrote it and it was the best book ever and sold more copies than anything else because I am like a god."

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"Good. I'm attached to my IQ points and I feel like interacting with any media of your creation would put them in jeopardy, so. It's better this way."

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"It's true, every time anyone talks to me I take all their IQ points for my own. That's how I do all the 9000 IQ plays."

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"I think you're missing a decimal point somewhere near that '9,' but. Sure. Whatever makes you happy."

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"What? Me? No. I can't be missing anything, I solved math, remember? Plus, I killed Dream once, and everyone knows he has 1000 IQ, so mine's gotta be higher."

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It's such a pity that her rectangular cube form can't rub the bridge of her nose, because this is the sort of thing that requires reacting physically. Instead she'll just. Put her hand on her face. There. Hand: face.

"... Okay. You've done it. You've outsmarted me. You've figured out my clever ruse, and how I am definitely younger than you even though I was born before. You are very clever, congratulations."

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"Thank you." A very small gray cube that he's holding makes a noise at him; he makes a face and runs off to talk into it.

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"So, uh, now you've met Tommy. It's... good to see him doing better."

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"He was worse, before?" she asks, horrified.

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"No, I mean-- he seems... happy. Happier, at least.

...It doesn't matter. I was going to offer to show you around the server, if you want."

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"Oh. That'd be very nice, thank you." She gets the impression from this person's tone that Tommy has Been Through Some Shit, which. ... Now makes her feel a bit bad about picking on him, actually. Even if it was very easy and fun. "... I'm glad he's happier, anyway."

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"Yeah." Walking!

They reach a rectangular portal; the frame is made of obsidian, and the portal glows purple. "This is the portal to the nether hub. It's kind of scuffed, but." Shrug.

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Yvette is polite enough to teleport herself back one block down, so she won't be walking on air ostentatiously.

When they get to the portal, she peers at it with fascination!

"Nether hub. Through a dimensional portal. Why have a hub in another dimension?"

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"...It's faster to get around in the Nether, so there's a lot of paths in it to portals in places that are further away."

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"I see. And it all corresponds accurately to, uh, whatever dimension this is? Or does it get weird?"

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"It's on a 1 to 8 ratio, so every step you take in the nether corresponds to 8 steps in the overworld. That's this dimension. Other than that, it's all a perfect correspondence."

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"That's cool. Weird! But cool."

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