"In that case, could you please select someone else to vouch for your" and she still manages to say this with an even tone "good character? I can't ask someone to scour the entire Appalachian Trail."

"No."

OK, so he's impulsive and short-sighted and confrontational. "I will give you a starburst, right now, for either useful contact information or someone else I can put down on this form who actually has an address."

"Mo Xuanyu's at Haswell."

She carefully extracts a single starburst from the bag (an orange one: it is presumably orange flavored) and hands it to him, while keeping the total bag in her purse. Better if he can't see how many she's brought. "Thank you. I'll just put down the school for his phone number."

"Song Lan, that is her current address and phone number?" She reads them off smoothly.

He pops the starburst into his mouth. "His, you're really not good at this, are you. Someone should send you to sensitivity training. --I blinded him."

Actually, Xue Yang liquidated his eyeballs and then they dripped down his face and it was really cool but mentioning that is the sort of thing that would mean he Has No Dead Bodies To Play With Anymore.

"Thank you, I'll put a note in the file for the investigator who calls him." The ...blinding...thing she's just going to skip over. It was an accident of some sort and Xue Yang is having some fun at her expense.

"You didn't report any family members. You might have missed that you're supposed to report deceased ones, including foster parents. I understand if this is hard for you to talk about, but if you could write down what you remember it would be helpful." That's what being sympathetic sounds like, right?

"Probably one if not both of my parents had the surname 'Xue.'"

"Alright." She writes a note to contact Haswell for more information. Someone in their office must know something, and Xue Yang has signed all the appropriate waivers, which combined with a badge should be plenty.

"I have you down as having no foreign contacts, correct? Dual nationals are also foreign contacts, just to be clear."

"I have a lot of foreign contacts and you aren't cleared to know the country of any of them."

"Just for future reference, since this room is not inside the SCIF(1), you shouldn't say that out loud, even if you're confident nobody can overhear. There could always be listening devices."

"Now, you have no foreign financial interests, no foreign real estate ownership, no foreign financial benefits, no foreign advice or support for any government, right?"

1: Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility. Where the secret stuff happens.

"Right. So what you're saying is that I shouldn't mention Ulthar. Or the fair city of Y'ha-nthlei beneath the sea."

She's not going to rise to the bait of attempting those pronunciations just to have him mock her again. "No, no you shouldn't. They'll cover that in your induction. Now, no political office, no foreign travel, no qualifying mental health professional consultation, and we're back at the police record! How do you want to verify them?" She is finished with most of the paper. It will be done soon.

"No, I definitely had therapy for oppositional defiant disorder in the past seven years. Because of all the stabbing," he adds helpfully.

"I couldn't have imagined." She is as unsurprised as she has ever been. "Oppositional defiant disorder could be classified as family, but if it was court ordered I will need the name of the therapist, the agency they're associated with, and if you have any more information or records it would be very helpful."

He gives names and addresses! Like someone had made him memorize this and rewarded him with candy for correct answers!

...He has addresses for a psychologist he visited years ago? He either prepared very very carefully (dubious) or was coached (concerningly plausible). She takes them down obligingly: what else is she going to do? "So, the police reports. I have ten theft charges, eight charges of assault, and three charges of prostitution, all from before you were 18." That's...a thing that happens? Prostitution charges for minors?

"They didn't catch me for most of the assaults. Or the thefts. Or the murder."

"Well, unless that was terrorism or aimed at overthrowing the US government, I don't care. Now, could you confirm for me a list of all illegal drugs you've used? Remember, honest responses can't be used against you in any criminal proceedings or other legal matters."

"I should try to overthrow the US government. That would be funny."

"You shouldn't, but I'll just mark that down as a confirmed no for those now. So, illegal drug use? Not including prescription drug abuse or underage alcohol or cigarette consumption, that's next section."

"All of them."

"Cocaine, THC, Ketamine, Narcotics, Stimulants, Depressants, Hallucinogenics, and Inhalants of course, but Steroids are also a category: what did you use them for?" The capital letters come from someone who once considered doing weed at a party, but didn't want to. But she's nearly done talking to Xue Yang. This is page 100 of the old SF-86. She'll be done soon. Then she just has to talk to some of the people he considers good references...

"Why not?"

"Well, I doubt you were trying to win a polo competition." What is he going to do, complain about her unprofessionalism? She doesn't like the idea of putting down something false on a report. "Why buy steroids?"