Xue Yang behaves exactly like he has to be passed no matter what, which is to say that he's showed up in cat ears and a maid dress. He's quite pretty and he can't be older than sixteen.

"I was promised candy."

She is wearing a full suit, as usual. She does not do the badge-flip, like some of her colleagues. Coming from a clearance investigator it just looks silly. "I'm Investigator Donahue, and you must be Xue Yang." Her tone is professional. "And upon completion of the interview you shall have it. But that means we both want to get this finished, right?" Professional, despite the temptations. "Is there an office we can go to?" There should be.

"Yeah, I think it's over there." He heads off in a direction. "I want candy now." 

She follows a few steps behind, holding her badge carefully to the scanners when required. "Unfortunately, that won't be possible just yet."

"Meng Yao gives me candy when I want it." Meng Yao is aware that I can drown him with a thought, Xue Yang thinks, and does not say because it has been made clear to him that he will get dead bodies to play with if and only if he doesn't threaten people who don't already know he can drown them with a thought.

"Unfortunately, I am not Meng Yao, and I did not bring enough candy to feed you throughout the interview." This is going to take longer than she had hoped.

He flops sideways into a chair in the interview room. "What is the point of s-- consulting if you still have to fill out forms. Hit me. Metaphorically or literally."

The spiel is automatic. "I know it isn't fun, but filling out these forms isn't just about letting the government know about potential risks. It also ensures that they can help keep an eye on potential risks from foreign agents, and better support you." She sits properly, enjoying the comfortable chair. GAO(1) will never tolerate the good stuff for travelling agents like herself. "We'll start with the basics. You were born May 2nd, 2002?"

1: Government Accountability Office.

"Meng Yao decided that was my birthday."

Meng Yao must be his adoptive father. What sort of orphan didn't even have records of their own birthday? She had thought someone had pulled strings to get the spoiled kid a cushy job, but it seemed like something stranger was happening. "If that's what it says on your other documents, that is good enough for me."

"Now, for your addresses for the past ten years, you listed an unusual number, given that you're only 18. Could you confirm them all for me verbally?"

"Haswell Academy in Haswell, Colorado since I was thirteen. I forget what order I put juvie and foster care and being on the street in but they're in some kind of order."

"That matches what I have here". No need to prod the traumatized child too much. "And you're not in any educational program at the moment, it was just Haswell?"

"Five years at the school for gifted and troubled youth and now I pay my government back by working in the intelligence sector, yes."

Or two but who's counting, really. 

Jane certainly isn't! Jane has her paperwork and she just has to get through this and then she can get away. "You didn't list any form of employment before this. How did you support yourself?"

"I'm going to give you a couple minutes to look at my list of addresses and reconsider whether you want an answer to that question."

He takes out a fidget spinner from his pocket. Spinnnnnnnnnnn.

She flips over to his police record entries. She remembered something...

Theft, aggravated assault, theft, theft, assault, theft, prostitution, assault...

There are a couple extra pages stapled on. 

"This came up in a discussion, actually, you're supposed to label illegal work as self-employment. It won't be a problem, I can just fix that. I suppose I'll just match the locations of work to your addresses at the time." The cheerful smile is under some strain. "I see you've registered for Selective Service properly."

"Now, we just need three people who know you well who haven't been listed elsewhere on the form. Unfortunately, I don't think that we can use this one, I'm having trouble pronouncing the name."

"That's racist. Don't they teach you not to be racist. There were supposed to be classes on that at Haswell and then I shanked the teacher."

Fidget spinner goes spinnnnnnnnnnn.

She ignores it politely. "Xiao Xingchen, you have his address listed as "Appalachian Trail". If we can't contact him, he can't speak to your good character."

"Try wanting him not to show up really hard, I think it summons him."

"Yeah! Like that. Good job."

"Unfortunately, we live in reality, where magic summoning spells don't exist. If you could at least give a phone number, that would give the investigator something to go off of to arrange a meeting."

Magic summoning spells do exist but for some reason Xue Yang has not been allowed to learn any of them and he doesn't think he can construct one from first principles out of spite. Yet. 

"Phones interfere with his whole"-- Xue Yang waves a hand-- "noble-wanderer commune-with-nature thing."

Xue Yang thinks that Xiao Xingchen is an idiot, but this lady also thinks he's an idiot, and this makes Xue Yang want to stab her. Only Xue Yang is allowed to think Xiao Xingchen is an idiot. 

"In that case, could you please select someone else to vouch for your" and she still manages to say this with an even tone "good character? I can't ask someone to scour the entire Appalachian Trail."

"No."

OK, so he's impulsive and short-sighted and confrontational. "I will give you a starburst, right now, for either useful contact information or someone else I can put down on this form who actually has an address."

"Mo Xuanyu's at Haswell."

She carefully extracts a single starburst from the bag (an orange one: it is presumably orange flavored) and hands it to him, while keeping the total bag in her purse. Better if he can't see how many she's brought. "Thank you. I'll just put down the school for his phone number."

"Song Lan, that is her current address and phone number?" She reads them off smoothly.

He pops the starburst into his mouth. "His, you're really not good at this, are you. Someone should send you to sensitivity training. --I blinded him."

Actually, Xue Yang liquidated his eyeballs and then they dripped down his face and it was really cool but mentioning that is the sort of thing that would mean he Has No Dead Bodies To Play With Anymore.

"Thank you, I'll put a note in the file for the investigator who calls him." The ...blinding...thing she's just going to skip over. It was an accident of some sort and Xue Yang is having some fun at her expense.

"You didn't report any family members. You might have missed that you're supposed to report deceased ones, including foster parents. I understand if this is hard for you to talk about, but if you could write down what you remember it would be helpful." That's what being sympathetic sounds like, right?

"Probably one if not both of my parents had the surname 'Xue.'"

"Alright." She writes a note to contact Haswell for more information. Someone in their office must know something, and Xue Yang has signed all the appropriate waivers, which combined with a badge should be plenty.

"I have you down as having no foreign contacts, correct? Dual nationals are also foreign contacts, just to be clear."

"I have a lot of foreign contacts and you aren't cleared to know the country of any of them."

"Just for future reference, since this room is not inside the SCIF(1), you shouldn't say that out loud, even if you're confident nobody can overhear. There could always be listening devices."

"Now, you have no foreign financial interests, no foreign real estate ownership, no foreign financial benefits, no foreign advice or support for any government, right?"

1: Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility. Where the secret stuff happens.

"Right. So what you're saying is that I shouldn't mention Ulthar. Or the fair city of Y'ha-nthlei beneath the sea."

She's not going to rise to the bait of attempting those pronunciations just to have him mock her again. "No, no you shouldn't. They'll cover that in your induction. Now, no political office, no foreign travel, no qualifying mental health professional consultation, and we're back at the police record! How do you want to verify them?" She is finished with most of the paper. It will be done soon.

"No, I definitely had therapy for oppositional defiant disorder in the past seven years. Because of all the stabbing," he adds helpfully.

"I couldn't have imagined." She is as unsurprised as she has ever been. "Oppositional defiant disorder could be classified as family, but if it was court ordered I will need the name of the therapist, the agency they're associated with, and if you have any more information or records it would be very helpful."

He gives names and addresses! Like someone had made him memorize this and rewarded him with candy for correct answers!

...He has addresses for a psychologist he visited years ago? He either prepared very very carefully (dubious) or was coached (concerningly plausible). She takes them down obligingly: what else is she going to do? "So, the police reports. I have ten theft charges, eight charges of assault, and three charges of prostitution, all from before you were 18." That's...a thing that happens? Prostitution charges for minors?

"They didn't catch me for most of the assaults. Or the thefts. Or the murder."

"Well, unless that was terrorism or aimed at overthrowing the US government, I don't care. Now, could you confirm for me a list of all illegal drugs you've used? Remember, honest responses can't be used against you in any criminal proceedings or other legal matters."

"I should try to overthrow the US government. That would be funny."

"You shouldn't, but I'll just mark that down as a confirmed no for those now. So, illegal drug use? Not including prescription drug abuse or underage alcohol or cigarette consumption, that's next section."

"All of them."

"Cocaine, THC, Ketamine, Narcotics, Stimulants, Depressants, Hallucinogenics, and Inhalants of course, but Steroids are also a category: what did you use them for?" The capital letters come from someone who once considered doing weed at a party, but didn't want to. But she's nearly done talking to Xue Yang. This is page 100 of the old SF-86. She'll be done soon. Then she just has to talk to some of the people he considers good references...

"Why not?"

"Well, I doubt you were trying to win a polo competition." What is he going to do, complain about her unprofessionalism? She doesn't like the idea of putting down something false on a report. "Why buy steroids?"

"The handlers gave them to me. --Does it count as illegal drug use if the government gave it to you?"

She actually doesn't know what to say. He's accusing his current boss of giving him steroids? Or a previous one gave a child steroids? "If there's no prescription it is still illegal, yes. Just to reiterate, we also won't prosecute anyone else based on what you tell us in this context unless they're a threat to national security."

"Yeah, then, steroids. For increased muscle mass."

"Alright. Literally all the drug categories. You marked that you intend to continue using all of them as necessary for operations as a condition of employment. That is normal enough for undercover cops." It is literally the standard phrase, but, she knew he was coached. She confirms the several extra pages, since most people use a somewhat more reasonable quantity of drugs. "Nobody's ever advised you to seek counselling for your illegal drug use, which is good. Never sought counselling on your own."

More pages. "no alcohol abuse problems."

More pages "No prior clearance application."

More pages "No bankruptcy or financial problems from gambling, right?"

"If I decided I wanted to gamble the government would give me as much money as I wanted to do it with."

She smiles and decides not to argue. If there's a vice he doesn't engage in already, she'll be thankful for small mercies and move on. "You've paid all your taxes on time, never wrongly used an employer's credit card, no trouble with debts" More pages go by. And, of course, she has to stop. "Could you confirm the hacking incident for me?"

"Oh, yeah, that was great."

"Date, description, location, and consequences, please."

He gives a date and "Haswell, Colorado, I put ransomware on the NSA's computers and the consequence was that it was incredibly funny."

Right. She's heard they have honeypots to get recruits for TAO(1). That's normal, she's read about teenage hackers. "Alright. Any other incidents you want to disclose here?"

1: Tailored Access Operations, the NSA folks who actually get to break into the databases of other governments. 

He seems to have spent his last year and a half at Haswell trying to figure out how to get into every computer system he shouldn't have.

"Right, I've included the specifics as notes, and grouped them all together. I just need to note which ones involved illegal access, which ones involved modification or damage, and I am going to assume that in all of them you 'introduced, removed, or used hardware, software, or media in connection with any information technology system without authorization, when specifically prohibited by rules, procedures, guidelines, or regulations or attempted any of the above', since I understand that that is fairly standard practice, but it does get recorded separately on the form." The original draft did not have this, likely because he was apparently never punished for any of this, but she prefers to get everything down if possible.

He stole Meng Yao's boyfriend's nudes and posted them on the Haswell Discord server! This was incredibly funny.  

He has to pass. He has to pass. "Now, you've never been part of an organization dedicated to terrorism, or engaged in acts of such, or an organization that advocated the violent overthrow of the US government, or advocated for such, right?" She's so close to being done.

"I exclusively spread terror freelance."

"Right, but have you engaged in" and she glances back down at the form to read it off carefully, but smoothly "any criminal acts that involve violence or are dangerous to human life and appear to be intended to intimidate or coerce a civilian population to influence the policy of a government by intimidation or coercion, or to affect the conduct of a government by mass destruction, assassination or kidnapping"?

"Only professionally."

"And the dates for that?"

Three times in his last year at Haswell!

"And I'm assuming that the motivation was all that it was directed by a government employer?"

"My motivation was candy. And getting to suck Meng Yao's dick."

"Did you have any other motivation that you would rather put down on the form to reassure people that you are unlikely to do it in the future while not under the direction of a government employer?" The sexual relationship with Xue Yang's de facto foster father is going to take a moment to process, but she can keep on going.

"No."

Sometimes the forms are a little silly, but most people know how to go along, and sometimes they need a little prompting. She almost never has to deal with this, and usually she's more sympathetic to someone who's overly honest (and therefore unfit for keeping secrets, but not in a way that is their fault, really). But screw it, she's done. She pushes some paper across. "Alright then, I'll just need your signature here, here, and here. Do you want me to explain the remaining forms?" General information release, health information release, and credit history information release.

"That sounds boring."

She waits patiently for him to sign. "Alright then! Once you've signed, if any of the people you've listed as address, employment, or People Who Know You Well references are in the building, it would be great to meet them now."

"Meng Yao's here."

"Excellent. I can't stay here unescorted, so if you could just sign and walk me over to him I'd appreciate it." What is Meng Yao doing here? She thought she saw the name on the form, but all she can think about right now is that he directs this teenager to commit acts of terrorism and rewards him with sexual favors and candy. "Then I can give you all the rest of the starbursts" and never talk to you again, hopefully.

"They have me escorting you?"

"You're an employee with a badge who is soon going to have TS, I am just a visitor."

"Right, but I'm me."

"Rules are designed around sometimes imperfect formal systems with the goal of keeping us, and the secrets we protect, safe. Sometimes that process is imperfect, but it's better to follow it and be overly cautious than the reverse." She really does believe it, even if she doesn't trust Xue Yang to stop her from lockpicking someone's cabinet and rifling through their files in front of him.

"Excessive caution is not really my complaint here."

"Your issue is not that requiring an employee escort for me seems excessive, and that forcing that burden upon you seems unnecessary?"

"My issue is that if you decided to shoot up the place I'd mostly just think it was funny unless you shot Meng Yao in which case you would die. --Give me the candy."

She laughs. It's a funny joke. Right? "Just as soon as you sign the forms and take me to Meng Yao. But here, you can have another for getting through the talking portions."

Candy eaten, forms signed.

"Excellent, let's go meet Meng Yao!" This has to be easier. Sure, he's sleeping with a teenager who worships him, but he should have enough professionalism not to be Like This.

A few minutes later--

Meng Yao stands up, smiles, and shakes her hand. "Ms. Donahue?"

Her handshake is easy and firm. "Mr. Yao?"

"Can I stab her?"

"You can't stab her. --I assume you're here for the reference?"

"I bet she'd learn how Chinese names work if she got stabbed every time she fucked up."

Meng Yao was very calm. "You still can't stab her."

"Mr. Meng?" She's a lot more concerned.

"Yes. Let's go into the meeting room. --Xue Yang, can I trust you to behave yourself while I'm gone?"

He pulls out a switchblade and starts flicking it open and closed. 

"Excellent. Ms. Donahue, the meeting room is this way."

It's away from Xue Yang!

"You have questions for me?"

"As I'm sure you're aware, I need to ask you some questions about Xue Yang. Tell me about your relationship with him: how long have you known each other, where, and in what context?"

"I was assigned as his handler about a year ago when we were certain he had potential for consultancy. I've taken point on his training as well as arranging for his housing and food and so on. I've overseen him on several preliminary projects which tested his abilities as a consultant." 

Does she want to ask about the boyfriend's nudes? No, no she does not. Their sexual interactions? Of course not. But she refuses to overlook everything. "Like the terrorism?"

Smile smile smile. "Xue Yang has a very particular sense of humor."

She laughs. "He really does. So, any reason to think he might be loyal to any foreign nation?" This is nice and easy.

"None whatsoever." Or the United States, but Meng Yao isn't going to volunteer that.

"You arrange housing and food for him: does he have any trouble with finances that you think could present a weakness?" She doesn't talk like this with the subjects, but a fellow professional she can relate to a little better.

"The US government supplies all his financial needs, the cost of him experiencing financial stress would be much higher than the cost of him occasionally buying a thousand dollars of cookies." Which he did once. 

That's a matter for the GAO(1), relevant IGs(2), and the DCAA. "To the best of your knowledge, does Xue Yang have any close foreign contacts". She pauses. She has to say this. She knows her duty "from countries that I am cleared to know about?"

1: Governmental Accountability Office

2: Inspectors-General, a vaguely defined role. For more see Hilliard 2017

3: Defense Contract Audit Agency, who ensure compliance with FAR(4)

4: Federal Acquisitions Regulations

"No."

"Thank you very much for your time, Mr. Meng. Would you mind escorting me out of the building?"

"Of course. --I would like to give Xue Yang my highest recommendation for TS clearance as one of the most stable, reliable, and loyal people in his particular branch of... consulting."

...

...

Alright, so Yao is very good at lying. There is no possible way that this is what most stable looks like. Putting 20 people like Xue Yang together would probably result in an eldritch rift forming from sheer rejection of reality. The NSA would be replaced with kittens and, assuming their handlers continued their bribery campaign of sex and candy effectively, America would follow Manifest Destiny into raising the lost city of Atlantis and colonizing it. Since sunken cities continue to not exist, she'll give the man credit for chutzpah. Still, he is escorting her out. Some tact is called for. "You seem much more concerned with convincing me of that than he was."

"Well, he's not the one who has to fill out the paperwork to get him a clearance anyway if you say he shouldn't have one."

Because he would get bored and light the paperwork on fire.

"To keeping the country safe efficiently, then." She doesn't dislike him, somehow, even if he does lie to her face.

Meng Yao has not told one single lie this entire conversation!

Also, he hates his life.

Surrendering her temporary badge at the Security desk, she walks far enough that they stop interfering with cell phones and makes a call to the person who is presumably Mr. Song. She's got a long trip ahead of her and LA traffic is bad. Might as well get this over with as soon as possible.

"Hello!" He sounds like the phone call just woke him up. 

"Hello, are you Song Lan? I'm Jane Donahue, with OPM (1), calling to schedule a time to talk with you about Xue Yang. Is this a good time?" In theory she's supposed to set up an in-person meeting and care about security, but it is quite clear to her that the problems with Xue Yang will not be made worse by discussing him on a phone call.

1: Office of Personnel and Management.

"Uh, yeah, this is fine? What did he do now."

"He applied for a Top-Secret Clearance, so I'm performing a background check on him. What sorts of things has he done in the past to produce that reaction from you?"

"--I don't know anything about how background checks work, are you Delta Green or just some random bureaucrat where if I tell you shit two men in nice suits are going to show up at my front door and tell me to cut it out."

"We're on an unsecured phone line. You should not divulge government secrets on an unsecured phone line. I do not have need-to-know for any specific projects that Xue Yang has worked on unless they relate somehow to his trustworthiness or reliability as an employee of the US government." Who on earth is she dealing with?

"Nice men in suits, right. --He blinded me." Actually he melted Song Lan's eyes out of his head but who's counting.

Jane Donahue had finished a very long day when she was done talking with Xue Yang at 10:30 AM. Possibly she should not have made this phone call. And yet. "Can you elaborate on the circumstances of him blinding you?"

"I'm a-- private investigator." (That wasn't exactly wrong, it was his day job anyway.) "There was a, uh, miscommunication about whether something was a US government project." (Xue Yang was allowed to torture his foster family to death and you don't want people to hesitate when a sorcerer is torturing someone to death because they might be an employee of the US government. Delta Green tried to recruit him afterward and he told them where exactly they could stick their paycheck.)

...She pulls over. She can't drive during this. Thankfully, Los Angeles being the city that it is, there is abundant space. "So it was performed during the course of his employment, and you were viewed as a threat to US Government personnel, assets, or objective. But Xue Yang was still willing to cite you as a character reference, and you seemed inclined to help solve whatever the problem was. What changed?"

"I don't know why Xue Yang is willing to list me as a character reference. Maybe he thinks it's funny. Maybe he's actually trying to give you an accurate assessment of his character, for mysterious Xue Yang reasons."

"I see." That was probably horribly insensitive! "Do you have any reason to think he might be loyal to any foreign nation?"

"I don't have any reason to think that Xue Yang is loyal to anyone? Like, if he did decide to betray you to-- the Chinese or the Russians or whoever you're worried about-- he's going to go betray them right back as soon as it amuses him. I assume that slimy little handler of his is good at his job."

"His handler did give the impression of being very competent, yes." Why is her day like this? "So, horrifyingly unstable, prone to random acts of cruelty, and loyal to at best one person." Normally, there would be other questions. Normally there would be many things. But it's clear to her that it really does not matter in the slightest what she says. "Can you think of any warning signs that would indicate that Xue Yang might become unstable" more so than usual, she lefts unsaid "or particularly attractive incentives foreign agents might offer?"

"Two people. He's loyal to Xiao Xingchen, God knows why." Song Lan is so tired. "But Xiao Xingchen is from the plateau of L-- from an isolated monastery high up in the mountains where no one ever leaves or interacts with the outside world, so I think they're not really a threat on the betrayal to foreign nations front."

OK. That's convenient, really. Not adding another person to the list. She can take the rest of the day off. This is far worse than having a cold. "That is one of the most reassuring things I've heard today. Thank you, Mr. Song."

"Uh, he blinded me because I tried to stop him from taking his revenge on someone he wanted to hurt, so... probably let him hurt people? I guess?"

"That one's less reassuring. Normally I think I'd ask you a few more questions, but we've covered an impressive amount already. Is there anything else you think I should know?" Hopefully she can just...take thirty minutes to process.

"Xue Yang has incredibly bad taste in anime and he will not shut up about it which is honestly almost as bad as the rest of the torture."

"Thank you, Mr. Song. Have a nice day!"

She's done. Alright, she should probably get off the highway, find a nice parking spot somewhere, and just decompress. That's reasonable. She can do this.

Los Angeles has more parking spots than it has people. She doesn't have much trouble finding a convenient one.

Meng Yao was obviously lying about Xue Yang, but she's a professional. Sometimes people lie to you to try to get what they want. Particularly when your business is investigating their darkest secrets. 

Xue Yang...is a terrible person. A terrible person who possibly shouldn't get a security clearance, but apparently people trust Meng Yao. She can put that in her report "Xue Yang will likely remain low-risk so long as Meng Yao is not compromised." That sounds nice and formal.

Alright. He's terrible. But it isn't her problem. She knows the government does some questionable things. That doesn't mean that America isn't a shining force, that the world doesn't genuinely need a policeman. She used to have an aunt in Yugoslavia. She barely remembers her. Now there is no aunt, no Yugoslavia, and an entire country that owes its life and existence to NATO(1) and the USAF(2). "But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep", she recites to herself. And she heads home, catching the 10 to the 405 to the 101(3) to swing by her grocery store for some raspberry sorbet and a redbox movie that she's forgotten by the time she shows up to the office the next day. The Gossip Girl reruns were more fun, after all.

1: North Atlantic Treaty Organization. Why it includes Turkey is left as an exercise for the reader.

2: United States Air Force.

3: Yes, people in LA actually talk like that. 

She's walking into her office, clothes a shade more casual since she's not going out on any interviews today, just doing paperwork and a few calls. No Xue Yang, no torture, no blinding, just making sure that things go properly. It's going to be a good day.

There is a man in her office.

He is wearing hiking boots (muddy), a flannel shirt (muddy), and a blindfold (clean, but with the general aura of having been washed in a river); his hair (pristine) falls to his shoulders. His facial features recall words like "noble" and "heroic" and "angelic". He has two swords slung across his back. They ought to look ridiculous, like the kind of fantasy sword a teenage anime fan lusts over at a convention. They mostly look like they can kill you. 

He shines. 

He doesn't literally shine, but there is something about him, an aura, that makes her feel like he glows. She can almost hear the background music playing behind him. When she looks at his face, she recalls childhood memories: riding horses, a mountain jutting into a pinkening sky, the first time she opened a fantasy novel and saw vistas of a world she had never before imagined, the longing to see what is beyond the next horizon.

She looks thrice. She looks at the floor. She looks at his somehow pristine hair. She somehow looks past him.

She sighs thrice. Once for his face, once for her childhood fantasies, and once finally for the question she knows the answer to, somehow.

"Are you here about Xue Yang?"

"Yes, ma'am," he says, and holds out his hand. "I'm Xiao Xingchen. I understand I'm supposed to provide a reference?"

(It doesn't seem to have occurred to him that he shouldn't carry swords in a government facility.)

She shakes his hand. A light grip: someone like this might take a firm one as a pissing match, and she is not prepared to win one with the extremely unfairly attractive man who just showed up in her office.

How he got past security and into her office is something she has Decided To Ignore. Maybe she'll get a reprimand for not noticing that he doesn't have a badge, but there is *no possible way* that this could be an internal security evaluation. This is Xue Yang related nonsense. If he got in, he can presumably get out.

"Yes. Please, take a seat. Can I get you anything? We have water, and, uh, I think some of Jane's cookies are still in the common area."

He has a very endearing smile. His smile makes you want to reconsider your life choices and be a better person. It's the kind of smile you'd imagine Superman having when you were a little kid. "Some water and cookies would be lovely."

She gets lost in the smile, a little bit. She really should call her sister back tonight and catch up. She goes and gets the cookies and water. She sees Tim and decides to not bother even attempting to explain what is going on, just "meeting, sorry" and she's back with a plastic cup of water and cookies (one peanut butter, one sugar) in a napkin. They feel inadequate to serve this intruder to her office. "Here you go, enjoy!" She assumes he will hold his hands out and she can place them in his hands, and if she enjoys it a little bit more than she should, well, she's busy and her last boyfriend was a loser and it's been six months and a woman can appreciate, surely, even on the job. It isn't like he can see, at least.

He eats them very politely. "Do you have questions for me about a-Yang?"

"How long and in what contexts have you known Xue Yang?"

"About a year. He melted my boyfriend's eyes," Xiao Xingchen says, as if this is a normal thing for people to say. 

"Your boyfriend Song Lan?" The hope is strong. She does not want to face Xue Yang having blinded *two* people and not facing any consequences for it because he is apparently too good a hacker to ignore. The disappointment, well, it wasn't like the (gorgeous) (stunning) (inspiring) attractive man in front of her was likely to be single, or even straight with her luck.

"Yes. I don't think he's melted two people's eyes yet, he doesn't seem to like it that much." Om nom nom cookies. "And then he decided he hated me forever and was going to swear an eternal vendetta."

Who could swear an eternal vendetta against such a good man? Xue Yang, apparently, which really shouldn't surprise her. "And this led to him recommending you as someone who knows him well and can vouch for him?"

"Xue Yang has sworn an eternal vendetta against me because he wants me to pay attention to him." He sounds very unbothered by this state of affairs. 

Xiao Xingchen eats cookies with the grace of a dancer doing a pirouette.

One more sigh, for good measure. "He...does seem to have a habit of doing ridiculous things to get people's attention."

"I know better by now than to hope he's loyal to America, but do you think he has any loyalties to any foreign powers?"

Very graceful cross-legged sitting on a desk. Munch munch cookies.

"I'm not sure if I count."

"I think I'm not allowed to know which country you're from" it's China, it's obviously China, it's all the DoD cares about these days and his name is Xue Yang where Yang is the personal name, if he has foreign contacts it's so transparently China she can't imagine why they bothered but sometimes rules are like that "but are you a US citizen?"

"No. I don't think I'm here legally? Unless Song Lan did some paperwork about it. Is the process to be here legally particularly complicated?"

(It doesn't seem to occur to him that this might be an unwise thing to tell a member of the US government.)

OK. Xue Yang is a black hat, Song Lan is also a black hat, Xiao Xingchen is very pretty and very memorable and presumably does the sort of physical security work that lets him stroll into her office casually despite the theoretical safeguards and have the grace of a professional gymnast. It should not surprise her that, as he presumably gets paid in unmarked bills, he's never bothered with the niceties of a green card.

"OK. I can mark that down, it won't be a problem." Since she can't fail Xue Yang, which he is apparently managing to delight in. "Are you an agent of your government?"

"My government is a monastery in a remote mountain range that believes on principle that no one there should interact with the outside world, I'm not sure how I could be an agent of it."

Ah, Tibet, and with religious and political ties. That would be complicated. Thankfully, it means Xiao Xingchen really isn't a problem. Not even if he becomes a close contact.

"That is fine. Song Lan mentioned that he looks up to you: has he ever told you anything that, in your opinion, could represent a character flaw or weakness that would open him to exploitation by a foreign government?"

"--Uh. You have met Xue Yang, right?"

She laughs, easily. "Mr. Xiao" -- she really hopes he didn't actually reverse them for her-- "while Xue Yang does not so much possess character flaws as consist of them, so far I have not found anything that Mr. Meng will not overlook, supply, or both. The US Government seems to be in complete agreement with Mr. Meng on this point."

Very calmly: "He wants to take revenge on me because he wants attention from me, and he wants attention from me because he's in love with me, and he thinks being in love is stupid and dumb and cringey so probably the thing he actually wants is to trick me into mass murdering innocent people."

Evil is not a term Jane believes is useful. People follow their motivations, and sometimes you may disagree with them strongly, but people are not good or evil. Though Xiao Xingchen makes a convincing case for being genuinely truly good, in a way that makes her desire feel improper, and Xue Yang...

She would much rather have him destroying Three Gorges than Hoover. "I suppose that leads into the more pertinent question: what is your opinion of Meng Yao, and in particular his ability to control Xue Yang?"

Xiao Xingchen makes a face. "He's very clever and very ruthless, much more so than anyone thinks. It is convenient for him if Xue Yang continues to be a very confused, very traumatized, very brilliant child who hasn't realized that hurting people won't make him happy and who is desperate for any scraps of affection that Meng Yao is willing to give him. He thinks of Xue Yang as a very annoying tool that keeps breaking and I don't think it's good for Xue Yang to have as his primary emotional relationship someone who doesn't see him as a person."

"That...does...seem...bad for Xue Yang?" Xue Yang blinded his boyfriend for interrupting his torture session, wants to convince Xiao Xingchen to commit mass murder, has committed unnumerable other felonies and horrifying acts, and Xiao Xingchen cares about him and wants him to grow up well. "Why haven't you convinced Xue Yang to follow you around instead of Meng Yao, then?" Meng Yao may be bad news who lied to her but he is unlikely to betray his country, and it does not seem like Xiao Xingchen is skeptical of that? If Xue Yang grows up he may be more likely to defy Meng Yao, but at the same time TS for someone who considers breaking into the NSA to be a fun game is a little redundant.

"Song Lan thinks this is literally the worst idea I've ever thought of and I should recognize that some people are not worth my time to save. --Also I'm not sure of the ethics of dating someone who's fifteen, sexual ethics didn't come up often at the monastery."

She'd thought he looked young.

She'd thought he looked young, and ignored it. Parsed his childish ways as deliberately offensive, rather than that of a teenager never allowed to grow up.

She doesn't scream. She's quite proud of herself, for that.

What can she do? CPS isn't going to be able to do anything. Not with Meng Yao right there, and Xue Yang loyal in exchange for candy and the chance to provide oral sex. They'd drilled into her the importance of respecting different cultural backgrounds so long as nobody involved could be blackmailed over it, and so she'd ignored everything.

Her niece was turning sixteen.

"Normally there would be a concern about power dynamics but I think that you are extremely unlikely to abuse your power over Xue Yang. Whether Xue Yang can be saved, and whether that is worthwhile, is something I am afraid I can't answer." But it is absolutely something that could change. Signs of Xue Yang becoming a better person would have to be concerning, to whoever had to watch over him, assuming anyone did, assuming Meng Yao didn't maneuver to get the role himself, just to extract more blowjobs from the finnicky tool that is his 15 year old pet hacker he must have been grooming for years. "I think that he is likely to have an outsized impact on the world, compared to most, and you may wish to take that into account." Imperfect processes needed to be corrected by humans, that was her entire job, the reason it wasn't an automated form. And if, just in this case, she's correcting Meng Yao's control over Xue Yang? Giving Xue Yang a worthy role model (at least, a worthy role model by the standards of hackers)? She's a human being.

"For what it's worth," Xiao Xingchen says, "I don't think Meng Yao is taking advantage of Xue Yang or-- not like that. Meng Yao doesn't want to have sex with Xue Yang. There just-- aren't a lot of ways to motivate him."

...Is that even better? She supposes so.

"That...helps. Thank you."

"I don't think anything I say is particularly likely to help. I don't think anyone else can help Xue Yang."

"Perhaps he can help himself."

"I'll do my best, ma'am. I'm glad he has someone like you looking out for him as well."

"I'm not...I'm just a background investigator, I am not a Security Officer who works with people after they've passed." She's not...whatever Xiao Xingchen is.

"Well, it's a change for there to be anyone who cares about him at all." Xiao Xingchen smiles. "I suppose you can write down in the form that I might end up trying to steal him from the US government. If I do, I swear by the bright moon and the gentle breeze that I will do all in my power to make him defend the sapient people of the Earth, and American humans as a subset thereof no more or less important than any other, that I shall strive to make sure his recreational activities involve wandering the wilderness and do not involve harm to the life, limb, or property of any American citizen, and that we shall cooperate with the US government as our goals align."

(As he speaks, it sounds like the universe is listening.)

OK, a physical security hacker who, as the swords suggested, is really into fantasy. Alright, she can do this. "That...does seem plausible, with how you've described Meng Yao." She pauses. People like this are often fond of technical truths, and she's noticed something. "For you to do all in your power to make him defend the people of Earth seems unlike you."

Charming smile. "Fourth language. --Cause him to in a noncoercive fashion? I'm not Meng Yao."

She looks suspiciously. His English has been perfect so far, he pauses where he's thinking of concepts and not of words, and he said "cringey" and "literally the worst". If English is actually something he's less than completely fluent in she'll eat the next SF-85 she gets handed. In front of the client. "I think Meng Yao could describe candy and sex as non-coercive."

"Mm. Let me think." He considers this for perhaps ten seconds. "I swear by the bright moon and the gentle breeze that if I steal Xue Yang I intend to promote his overall happiness and well-being to the best of my ability, which will probably involve treating him differently than one would treat an ordinary fifteen-year-old, given his unusual abilities and psychology. And I grew up in a monastery completely isolated from the outside world and I have no idea how Americans expect fifteen-year-olds to be treated. I understand you have lower expectations for their abilities in hand-to-hand combat. But at the least I swear that my intent is good."

Well, she supposes, anyone who spent enough time around Xue Yang would probably pick up both of those phrases. "Thank you."

Maybe physical pentester with a weird aesthetic is just the only job that worked for a Tibetan immigrant raised in a monastery and forced to fend for himself in Los Angeles, or perhaps San Francisco. She starts spinning out a tale of his life and the woman who took him in, then files it away. That's for when she's at home. Or particularly bored on a call.

She chuckles, to stave off feelings. "I've seen what Xue Yang does to Meng Yao, who nominally has him under control. I'm not...I don't want him to turn that on me?" It shouldn't be a question, and yet, in front of this font of peace and goodness, she feels ashamed. Lifted up, and looking down at who she was this morning.

"Xue Yang is not going to be allowed to interfere with US government assets other than those specifically designated for his interference. It's one of the things they look for in... consultants of this sort."

"If what he has done to Meng Yao isn't harm...and if Meng Yao doesn't like my efforts, and you think he wants Xue Yang to stay dependent on him, and I couldn't want that for him." She stops, and notices. She's grasping for straws here, making up reasons to avoid the real one. "But I suppose Meng Yao can't exactly do much to me, he's just a low-level manager. It's not like he's going to kidnap me and take me hostage to Japan or something."

"I'm mostly worried I'll screw it up."

"Meng Yao is the asset specifically designated for Xue Yang's interference, that's what a handler is." Xiao Xingchen smiles crookedly. "It seems hard to make the situation much worse."

She contemplates the abused teenager. "I suppose it is."

Xiao Xingchen was quiet for a minute, as if he was thinking.

She suddenly smiles, and claps her hands. "Well, if that's everything Mr. Xiao, I want to thank you very much for your time. I suppose I am going to be awfully busy in the near future."

Xiao Xingchen smiles and reaches out to touch her cheek with one of his fingers. He's surprisingly good at finding it, for someone wearing a blindfold.

"I think you should remember who you are, Miss Donahue," he says.  

(And she remembers a castle shrouded by mist, its stones pinkish in the sunset; and a sailing-ship that takes off straight up towards the stars; and studying the language of cats, the better to make diplomatic overtures; and a war against the moon-beasts who have enslaved too many children, where she ran intelligence, learned the secrets that weren't in books bound in human skin and that wouldn't drive men mad but still might win them a battle--) 

She loved that castle, a product of tears and work and skill. Not to build it, that was easy, but to defend it, to make it a home for all they people they gathered under their banner. To make it stand for something, out in that place where that meant everything and nothing. She remembered how the stone cried, sometimes, after a battle, and she loved it for that, that stone that old could still weep.

How had she ever forgotten?

"What do you mean?" How had she looked up at the moon, and seen only lifeless rock? She'd thought it peaceful, the last time a (prospective) boyfriend had taken her camping.

"Give King Kuranes my best wishes and tell him I'm still not coming home."

Xiao Xingchen doesn't precisely disappear, per se. It's just that one moment he's there and the next moment he's not. 

This is too many emotions. She would really like to return some of them to the store. She's pretty sure she's got a receipt somewhere.

She's a bureaucrat who helps make sure nobody gets blackmailed or bribed by the Israelis or the Chinese or the Russians. She's a good spy, not a legendary one but she does good and important work for her king. Who apparently...knows Mr. Xiao personally. Presumably by that name. She's proud of her ability to help even the most difficult clients. She remembers a glorious battle fought on the underside of a sea, her own starblade flashing brightly. Alright. That's fine. This is fine. She doesn't like having raspberry sorbet two days in a row, that's a bad sign, but this really feels like a pair of days that deserves it.

She'll say she's sick, she's got the leave saved up, and there's nothing critical today. James can handle the call.

She's going to go to sleep tonight. And then she's going to wake up the next day. She can't be Jane Donahue by day. Not like this.