"Yep." 

She cocks her head back. 

"So it's part of the cycle. Seniors Cherish the Juniors, Juniors Respect the Seniors. The gifts are in a way, a dedicated signal saying 'Yeah, we are willing to have you in our social circle, and have the benefits thereof', and that'll go on for a while. In some situations, you can get into awkward situations if you end up effectively 'rejecting the generosity' of your seniors, and the whole point of this is to pitch the value of us and to get a bitta attachment and lock-in, but..." 

She sighs. 

"No one is forcing you, and honestly it's not nesscarily more then just... doing what you've already signed up for, in staying with me here and getting checked up on by the seniors and what you've said about wanting to be in the group but..." 

"Ties always mean something, and a price already paid is just as real." 

"Oh yeah." 

She glanced at the clock on the stove, and hummed. 

"But also like... The process of cultivation for you rn is very physical. I'm at Inborn, and accumulating Karma is basically like the thing that I need to do to get best starting Golden Core results, beyond keeping up my Life Item and practicing my cultivation method as best I can. It's been on my mind a lot so..." 

Jerk head to the side. 

"Take that w/ a grain of salt." 

Nods. 

"I see... Though I suppose it always helps, if not always so directly?"

"Yeah, though the list of things that can matter is pretty long - luck, will, karma, karmic attachments, bonded creatures, and items, environment, mentality... It goes on." 

"But for now..." 

"Drink up - helps your constitution and mental energy a touch, and with any luck should be able to spar me once this is all over. Plus, it's fucking good imo." 

She nods, and fetches herself milk and sugar to plop in, and offers her some. 

She throws in the two sugar cubes, then takes a big sip of the normally far-too-hot tea, and lets out a long satisfied sigh. 

"Mind leavin' it out? Something about the first lil bit of it makes having it blacker better." 

"No problem." 

The tea was... delicious, strong enough to send a shiver down her spine, but still soft enough to linger pleasantly in the sides of her mouth and across her tongue in even the densest parts, and part of the efect had to be more mystical since it reminded her of...

Strolling down a wooded path, the day fading into the gentle night, with only the soft rustling of the trees and crunch of the leaves beneath you to form your thoughts, the image of the breath of warm air she exhaled overlaid with a pleasant chill of the frosty air of the starts of winter. 

She smiled contentedly to herself, a little lost in the moment. 

"'s always cool to see people who are new to this..." 

She snorted. 

"Have a box of the bags, btw, 'nd happy to share most of it. More then 1 bag / day is dangerous for people who haven't cultivated, so be careful about that, and having more then like 5 a day for you is probably ill-advised while in foundation establishment, but otherwise, go wild." 

They drink in silence, for a while. 

"...Could you talk to me a little about your dreams for all this, Moonsilver? I realize this is awkward but well..." 

Shrug.

"Is the nature of the beast. You can call me just 'Ruby' whenever, by the way - 'm not really a senior, no matter my realm, and happy to just hang." 

She fidgetted a little nervously as she sipped at her tea. 

"I want to..." 

She paused. 

"It feels so wrong to just go and express things like that. Vainglorious, irrelevant, silly or... something that means that it's pointless to talk about." 

She reaches out her hand to hold. 

"...I do get it, you know. I've talked to Iron enough to know about how much the mortal world just... doesn't care, and offends you against the whole idea of something caring with these stupid fakes everywhere, but really..."

She gestured down at her form. 

"This body is a wet dream come true for me, and I bet you, too. What more is one impossible fantasy~?" 

She grinned widely, and squeezed her hand reassuringly. 

She hid a soft flush with a bit-too-fast jerky drink from her mug of the tea.

"...Yeah." 

"I..."

I dream of being trashed, discarded, thrown away, scoffed and scolded and stared at, of being simply attacked because I'm not even the sort of the person that people believe could even exist, that the dignity of personhood was meaningless because 'that's not how things work', that every fantasy I could dream up would be some entertaining side show or scandal to others at best and...

Sigh, drink deeply from the dregs of the tea, root myself, focus foward, let the groan slip out, feel, express.

"I dream of a chance not to be terrified of being worhtless, is the most real answer I can give you." She sighed, drinking down some of the last tea she had at the base of her cup, the dregs still oddly rooting to take in. "I want to do something interesting and novel that can't be dismissed as irrelevant or having me be irrelevant in the process. I want to have the sort of power base that means something and that can protect people I end up caring about and developing interesting things. I want to get at least a chance to experiment and work and become an even better version of myself through this training. But mostly... I just don't want to have to be scared, and everything else just feels like it's either part of that or some out-there speculation about what I could desire, someday."

She listens quietly, and her fingertips gently play across her wrist. 

"Yeah that's harsh - but remember that well... you have support, and like already a half-decent boost to your life span - just keep on going, 'nd there will be so many more chance to fix things, yeah?" 

Silent nod drift forward slightly tired hum.

"Yeah. So..." 

Rolls her head back.

"...What now?" 

"First, I cheer you up a lil." 

She gently patted her head. 

"Then... diagnostics!" 

Slight smile lean in. 

"For what? I don't really know enough about what matters for these things to guess without just listing off an absurdly long list of things that are only vaguely plausible."

"'Compatibility factors', basically. Talent shouldn't really be tested in ways other then just bloody getting to work, but it's not ideal to waste time with something that doesn't fit you." 

She hummed, and glanced over her appraisingly. 

"Has your constitution settled down yet?" 

"Not... quite? Seems a little incomplete and there's still progress to be made there, as best I can tell, though it seems like it's mostly just touch ups." 

"'lright - won't do the more in depth bits poking at that 'cause results aren't always great but..." 

She licked her lips. 

"'ll go set up the basic formation for testing for spiritual aptitudes, which should be able to use the same basic circle set-up for the cultivation bit so..." 

"Where to?" 

"Just down by the front door, the door to the left." 

She got up and followed forward.