:I think it is probably broadly considered stupid to fall in love with powerful casters twice your age in other countries, too.:

:Mmm. Is there anything I could do that would make it less stupid?:

:Why do you ...want me to fall in love with you.:

He has to think about that for a moment.

:- Because I want it to not be stupid for me to fall in love with you:

:Oh.:

Ma’ar isn’t sure what that ‘oh’ means, or what to say in response - he feels confused and off balance and he just wants to know what she’s thinking...

...oh, right. :Can I read your mind? I - am trying to understand:

: - yeah.:

She was - presuming he was doing that already? Now she can't chase down her reasoning, though, because her heart is pounding. Probably just because he could, her wig doesn't protect against his kind of mindreading fully, and so why wouldn't he, if he didn't find her thoughts annoying.

She feels very happy and very mistrustful of that happiness and very - like she's having to do all her reasoning on the spot instead of having done it before and she's not used to that and it's much harder than the nice normal state of affairs where she has thought before about anything very urgent that comes up. She - wants it to be true? She wants him to pet her and say nice things that somehow aren't false and do whatever else people do - and she wants it to not depend on her doing anything right, somehow, which is very stupid, because it's obviously meaningless if it's not specific to her, if it's just that she's the first -

- but that doesn't make a lot of sense, he could obviously have had his pick of girls in Predain -

Ma’ar pulls her closer and squeezes her. It takes him a lot longer to think of any response that’s actually in words.

:- You could read my mind. If you want. If it would help...?:

...sure, they can try that? 

She casts Detect Thoughts.

And Ma'ar lowers his shields, deliberately trying to let her in. 

...He's scared. This is the main emotion present, and he's very aware that it's a stupid one, and trying to tamp it down, and not entirely succeeding. He doesn't even know what he's afraid of. It's slippery and confusing and he can't quite grasp onto it. 

He feels - hopeful, maybe? It's unclear if that's the right name for the feeling, because he doesn't think hope is supposed to hurt. 

...He's lonely. And - maybe that's why it hurts, to catch a glimpse of some possible way-of-being where he wouldn't be lonely, when before he had never dwelled on it. 

But Leareth clearly has something that he doesn't, even if Ma'ar doesn't fully understand what that piece is. And - it felt possible to manage fine without it before - and must have for Leareth, too, working alone in Velgarth for century after century - but right now the scale is so huge and the stakes are so high and he feels unable to keep his footing, in some complicated metaphorical way, as though he keeps grasping for something solid and there's nothing there - 

- huh. 

It's so simple, she thinks, rather stupidly. None of it's about - figuring out how to keep her cooperative, or about things he wants from her and the things he'd have to say or do to get them, none of it's about trying to judge the bounds of what he can reasonably get away with - all the things that people do instinctively -

She - has a guess, actually, what - would be helpful - judging off the fact Leareth went for the pharaoh of Osirion -

She sits down and reaches out her arms for him.

Ma'ar is not quite following what the thing is that she thinks would help, but after a moment's hesitation, he settles himself next to her. 

She pets his hair. "There's a kind of feeling safe with you where - I feel safe because you could hurt me? And you haven't? So I know - what you'll do, when you can do whatever you want -"

:...Huh. Yes, I can - see how that makes sense. I am glad you feel that way: Ma'ar leans into her touch. 

:My guess about - what would be helpful - is if you had that,:

:- Oh. Maybe. I am not sure how that would - work, though. Since I am in fact more powerful than you, magically: a chuckle, :unless you have been holding out on me with some secret power of yours: 

:I do not have any secret powers. ...I guess I can polymorph a Yeerk but that's taking things too far, I think. But I don't know that we actually need - what if you just relax - and close your eyes -:

:...All right:

And he closes his eyes, and tries to relax, even though both of these are WEIRDLY TERRIFYING.

She does not actually have the slightest idea what she's hoping for, here, just, it seems like if she could manage to do it then it would be good, and he would love her, and - possibly that is too much intensity to be attaching to -

She touches his face. Cautiously. :Are you reading my mind?:

He shivers a little when she touches him, though not in a bad way. :I was. This is distracting. ...I can stop, if you want: 

:I don't mind you reading my mind but - checking what's going on probably defeats the point?:

:That makes sense: 

It's also an absurd, nonsensical level of nervewracking, but he folds away his Othersenses anyway. Tries to just - be here, right now, limp in her arms. 

It feels like something. Hard to tell if the thing it feels like is safety; he's not sure that he has much baseline of comparison, there. 

She is so terrified that actually this will - what, not work? Be mildly embarrassing? What is she, a child? - she can think about all of that later. 

She kisses his forehead. And casts Darkness, even though in principle he can't see anyway, because she'll feel less awkward.

Ma'ar notices the change in the light against his eyelids, and stiffens slightly before forcing himself to relax again. 

It hasn't stopped feeling scary for no good reason, but - there's a sort of exhilaration in that, too. He can frame it as a different kind of game, one where for him the challenge is not resisting, even when that feels bizarrely hard. 

Carissa tells herself very firmly that if what happens is he gets bored of this then - that's okay, it will probably not actually be WORSE THAN BEING SET ON FIRE even though it does feel like it'd be worse than being set on -

- there's an idea -

- she casts Energy Resistance(Fire) on both of them. 

She kisses him. 

And she very very carefully lights them on fire. Less fire than the energy resistance can absorb. Just a little bit of fire.