"Something is always wrong. If - if fixing everything is not a finite task then maybe something will always be wrong." He shivers. "...Do you choose not to. Feel pain, I mean." 

"That is not what I chose."

"Do you think it is important for some reason. To feel it." 

"I don't know.

Paladins do not feel fear. I do not remember what it was like to feel fear. I make many people my paladins; I think it improves things, on the whole, to have more paladins.

But I think it would not be good, to give away too many pieces like that, even if they're burdensome. Even if I am very tired. - it was my intent, if it turned out it was tempting to take ten thousand years to mope, to stop feeling pain, instead of that. But it wasn't very tempting, in the end."

"I think I understand." 

He's silent for a while. 

"...It is not tempting to give up. I - am not giving up. It is very hard to - do things effectively, right now, being tired is inconvenient and - for a long time I have been unsure even of what I ought to be doing. But I am not going to give up." 

"Yes," she agrees, not at all dismissively but like this is very obvious and she has no point considered it in doubt. "You are learning the pace of the challenge. You will recover, and recover stronger, having learned - whatever it is Leareth learned, which I regret that none of us can just convey to you directly."

"It is inconvenient that you cannot!" He closes his eyes. "I am not sure how costly this is for you, I do not want to - take up important resources - but if you can just hold me for a while, it...helps..." 

The environment shifts, somehow, so that they're sitting, and she is holding him. "I enjoy your company," she says. "These are not topics I revisit often, and I do not appear to my paladins in this fashion except in dire need because I cannot afford to do it for all of them. ...in particular I appreciate complaining about the previous management of Lawful Good. Occasions when that is a productive thing to do are very rare."

He actually chuckles a little, at that, though it's half a sob. "I am glad you appreciate it. It does sound - very frustrating, the situation you inherited there." 

And then he's quiet, just letting himself feel - safe, and protected, and like he has people - gods, even - on his side. It's a good feeling. A tired, heavy kind of good feeling, but nonetheless. 

She holds him for a long time, and then eventually says, regretfully, "it's not good for humans, to do this for too long. I am pleased to meet you, and proud of you."

And she's gone. 

He is, in fact, incredibly exhausted and has the faintest twinge of a headache; he can see why she cut them off there and is grateful for it. He means to get up and see if Ayodele is around, but before he finds the energy for that, he ends up instead falling asleep. 

He's still fast asleep a number of hours later when Leareth checks on him. 

Well, it doesn't seem worth it to wake him, even if it's confusing and worrying that he's apparently slept most of the day. Leareth heads back to their suite instead. 

"Carissa, have you seen Tadesse today? He has apparently been sleeping the entire afternoon." 

"No but he wanted to talk to Iomedae so that figures.

I met someone at the Worldwound, years ago when I was vetting Her, who got possessed by Her for a second and ended up unconscious with no memory of the last ten minutes or so. I assume that was because She was in a hurry, or people wouldn't talk with gods as much as you and Khemet do, but it put me off it, personally. If she wants to drop by, she can -" Gesture at the living room.

"- That sounds terrifying! I would be - quite upset if Abadar did that to me. Talking to Abadar used to be much worse, actually, since he was never human, even a little would leave you with an awful headache for hours." He sighs and sits down. "If that is why then I am not worried. I hope he found the conversation helpful." 

"I hope so! It was the moment when Aroden announced himself and fixed the Worldwound, I don't expect she makes a habit of it."

"That does seem like more of an emergency than usual. When I spoke to Iomedae that way it was...fine, just tiring. I suppose once I stayed there for a very long time because I was badly in need of hugs and then I had a bit of a headache." 

"Huh." Shiver. "Gods are - very unlike us. It's kind of - pretend, anyway, talking to them, isn't it."

"I do not especially feel that way? Certainly it is - a very small part of Them that interfaces with us, and - simplified versions of what They actually think and believe. But I think the first time I spoke to Abadar was...among the most seen and understood I had ever felt. Aroden understood me better but that almost does not count since he is me." 

"Fair enough." 

"Possibly it is relevant that at my age I feel poorly understood by most humans." He leans on her shoulder. "You, of course, being an exception." 

"Oh, I find you totally incomprehensible." She pats him. "Terrifying and bizarre."

"Terrifying and bizarre. Aww, how sweet." Leareth kisses her. 

There is a new one of Ma'ar and King Leareth, and he has dark skin and another family, which Pexa is not confused about, because sometimes people have more than one family, though Ma'ar and King Leareth just have this one. She is allowed to go and play with them, and after a week she works up the nerve and wanders over.

The parents seem to be out but the children - well, they're pretty big grown-up children - are home, and one of them lets her in. "Hi!" she says in accented Taldane. "You must be the princess, right, Leareth and Carissa's little one. Want to come in?" 

"Yes!"