[Yes, that sounded different.] 

He thinks for a few moments. 

[What is the factual matter that Alloran believes which is wrong?] 

[He thinks you're evil.]

[I think that is a value judgement, which is a different kind of thing? I have taken many actions which would conventionally be thought of as evil. I have goals which I personally think are good, almost by definition, and I tried to achieve them, but just because I judged harms worthwhile for the future, does not make them no longer bad.] 

Alloran, personally, paid the cost of the worst tradeoff he ever chose to make, and so it seems like completely fair play for them to have been enemies, and the thing one does to one's enemies is try to defeat them and win. He can't fault Alloran for that, he uses the same reasoning all the time. Still, Mhalir doesn't think this angle is worth trying to convey to Cayaldwin.

[Anyway that is not really the point]

[I assume you think Alloran ought be punished because of the specific actions he took, not a belief he holds. Many people hold incorrect beliefs and are not criminals.] 

[I usually hate those people too! More, even, because they're cowards who don't even try to affect the world or realize they are supposed to believe things for reasons. But it is true that Alloran being so - smugly wrong about everything - would not actually be worth fighting him over if he had not murdered you because of it. But he did. And you can't just - murder people and get away with it because everyone likes you better than the person you murdered. The world can't be allowed to work that way.]

This is...a very different ontology from the one Mhalir usually reasons in. But it's not one he can't think in. It's a lot clearer to him than some other frames around morality. 

[It would lead to a worse future universe overall if people could and did get away with it, is that what you mean? I think that is true, but there is still the question of what a fair and appropriate punishment is - separate from whether the Andalite courts are going to impose one - and it is not obvious to me that it is death, in this case.]

[The courts already heard it. They had Leareth detach his morph, Gifts make that easy to do. And they demoted him. And then told him that obviously anyone in his position would do the same thing and they wish him well and honor his record of service.]

[Ah. I see why you consider that unfair] 

Which isn't the same thing as agreeing, but they don't need to argue, he's not going to get anywhere. 

[Honestly, I think I am more qualified than anyone to know how Alloran would rank death compared to other punishments, and empirically he does not think it is very bad. He used a bioweapon to murder everyone on the Hork-Bajir homeworld and genuinely thought of it as a kindness and mercy to them, not a monstrous crime. He constantly tried to kill himself for the entire time he was my host.]

[I understand you do not consider his past experiences there to count as punishment for a murder he committed afterward, but it would not be difficult to devise some retribution that he would consider far worse than death.]

[You could, for example, kidnap him through a Velgarth Gate and place him under a Velgarth compulsion, and let him have trauma flashbacks for an hour while you shout at him. I am not saying you should do this but I am fairly confident he would consider it much worse than death while it was happening.] 

[- firstly I think Leareth would absolutely get wind of that and stop me, murdering people is a lot faster than torturing them. Secondly it wouldn't be fair play? He - didn't say anything to you, he said, he Fetched you and then he killed you, because it wasn't a story]

[Thirdly I don't - want him to suffer? I want him to not have done it and since he did do it I don't want to just let the world go on being mostly shaped by the fact he did it. It is not really about him. And to the extent that it is about him I want him to realize he was wrong and I don't think there is a way to hurt him until he realizes that.]

Of course Alloran was efficient about it. He's not stupid. 

[It is not fair play] he agrees.

[I do not think that killing him will make the world any less shaped by the fact that he murdered me, though, if anything the opposite. Because you will be dead or imprisoned, and I will be a brain trapped in a computer, and we will not figure out how I can have a body again, we will not fix morph so that people stop dying]

[I am not sure if Alloran can change his mind about me, but if anything could accomplish that, it would be if a century from now we have made immortality possible for everyone - even him, I would hope, in the end. I am not sure even he could live in that world for a thousand years and not realize I was more complicated than he thought.] 

[Those are some reasonable points but I still promised I'd do it.]

[I know. It seems as though you - wished to say something to counter the fact that it was fake and empty and the Andalite courts would not consider Yeerks as people who matter? And you were not sure what, and before then you had wanted and perhaps intended to kill him but not made a commitment, and you ended up making that commitment because it was - something to say? But you nonetheless did promise, and if you went back on it now it would show you had not in fact been taking it seriously and thinking of Yeerks as important. Does that capture it?]

[And also that in general when I say things it doesn't mean anything and no one can make plans on the assumption I meant them.]

[Right] 

Mhalir hesitates, trying to find the right words. 

[I do not disagree. But - it is complicated, right, because I was murdered but here I am. I would like to be allowed to communicate with a few of my people, though I think we had better keep tight security if we wish the Andalite government never to find out. And if you kill him, I will be very sad, because it will be much harder to carry on our work alone when I am stuck in a computer]

[And - I think what my people will gather from this, is - that you are someone whose word means something, yes, but also someone who will make commitments impulsively and then carry them out even once they are obviously stupid.]

[I predict they will find this the opposite of reassuring, and would consider it a greater sign of integrity and trustworthiness if, instead, we speak to them together, and if you wish you can commit to giving me a body again, which is what I am actually asking you for.] 

[I want you back.]

[I am right here. I know it is not the same for you, though. I want -]

'Back' isn't right, because maybe a different version of him knew Cayaldwin intimately. Though he's piecing together edges and corners of how it could have worked, working backward from 'Cayaldwin is an Andalite he could work with well enough to live in his head without restrictions' and adding in everything as he observes it. Cayaldwin's response to his suggestion of alternate punishment was very informative, which is exactly what Mhalir was hoping for. 

[I want what you had with me before] he says instead. [I - never bothered to hope for that, for - having an Andalite host I could truly work together with, it never seemed possible, but apparently I was wrong about many things including that. I think we can make it possible again, and in the process cover many breakthroughs that can be used elsewhere. It might take years but we are both very clever - we were a couple of months from solving the morph time limit and multiple tethers, and we had had less than a year... But I cannot do it on my own without you.]

[I guess while the court's punishment was inappropriate for a murder it was perhaps in line for an attempted murder. So as long as he didn't succeed I probably don't need to kill him.]

[I think so. The framing was perhaps rather disrespectful to Yeerks - the part where they said it was understandable and they appreciated his service, I mean, though honestly I feel more upset about all the dead Hork-Bajir. But I feel the appropriate response there, if any, would be a strongly worded opinion article or something.]

[Anyway. Should we make plans to go speak to whomever of my people you spoke with and made the commitment to, once I have a better notes interface?]

[There's a separate inquiry about the Hork-Bajir homeworld situation and that one's not concluded yet, they want Hork Bajir there for it. Those of his coconspirators who weren't captured at the time were stripped of their rank and sentenced to indefinite imprisonment but I think people feel like Alloran may have already been punished enough.]

[I don't blame him for that. Matirin would've done it too, on Earth, if we hadn't found anything better. And we'd have done it to ourselves, so it doesn't feel unprincipled. If that makes sense. You could ask Matirin what he thinks his mistake was, I don't think it's the being willing to kill five billion people exactly.]

[...No, probably not. I should ask him.] 

[I will ask Leareth about arranging for us to go talk to your people.]

[Thank you]

And he feels like he should say something else but he's not sure what. 

[I am sorry I was gone for two months. I am - grateful beyond measure, that you found a way to make this work, but it must have been very hard doing it when you were - used to working with me, and I was not there anymore.]

[Everybody I care about is dead. There's no point in - getting used to anything else.]

...Okay now he's kind of hurt, even though this is a stupid way to feel. Mhalir doesn't say anything in response. 

<Leareth> he says, again without checking whether he's in range.

Fortunately he is. He's pacing in the field, too distracted to focus on any of his work. <Yes?>