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restoring mhalir from backup
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"I know. I cannot actually prevent him, or check if he is, it is just - less overwhelming." He looks up at her, still from the floor, although now at least with clothes on. "I think on the computer I was fairly calm about this bizarre situation? I am - having trouble remaining calm now, though. Even though I am less - helpless - than I was in the computer..." 

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"Humans take some getting used to for how they handle in an emergency - I don't know if it'd be the same when you are one  -"

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"It does not feel very different from the times I Yeerked humans temporarily for interrogations? Except that there is no one in here with me. And also I am scared. I was not scared the other times. It seems that human bodies have irritating responses to that emotion." 

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"I think if the Andalites turn on us it won't be in response to anything we do, it'll be some politics thing among themselves. Or Leareth dying. It's not specifically important to be careful around them."

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"- Is there a particular reason to worry about Leareth dying?" Mhalir says, suddenly alarmed. "I think there was..." he struggles to drag out a memory with no attached cues, "...there was a coup at one point and he almost died, right? Earlier. When I - the other me - was still alive." 

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"Yes. Sub-Visser Twelve organized a coup. They did an orbital strike on Leareth's location, but he survived it, and they attacked you too but you had some of Leareth's protective artifacts. We lost Nessek and Talat. 

I don't think there's a particular reason to worry about him dying, when an orbital strike didn't do it."

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He nods, slowly. Tries to put his questions in order. 

"I trusted them before, right? The other me did, I mean. Since I - he - had been in their heads. Leareth, and - what is the Andalite researcher's name? I am having trouble remembering it in human speech." 

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"Cayaldwin. You trusted them. Leareth especially, you were - very deferential to him." It did not make a lot of sense to her, which she is not particularly hiding.

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"I am confused too. Leareth said - in a conversation when I was on the computer, I mean - that he thought me-from-before recognized how he thinks, as similar to how I think except - more life experience? And he said he - thinks I had needed someone I could trust. I am not really sure what he means by that. Maybe it will be clearer once I have been in his head again - they said they would give me morph and I could morph Yeerk, my base form being human just means it will be harder to trace to my past self and also I will not need to visit the Yeerk pool and possibly raise suspicions there." 

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"They're going to give you morph? Wow. Are you going to mostly want to be in Yeerk form, should we be finding a host for you -"

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"My plan was to work with Cayaldwin. He says we were a very effective research team before, when the other me could go in his head, and he wants that back again."

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Nod. "You trusted Leareth from - about ten minutes after you first looked at his head, that's when you surrendered, it was very confusing."

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"I suppose that seen from the inside he must look very trustworthy. Apparently I was also in Matirin's head once? I am not sure if I said anything about it to you. My notes were not very informative on the matter." 

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"You didn't say much. But - you were sure of them. I don't think they were involved in killing you."

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"I do not think so either. It seems I was - very close to helping Cayaldwin end death. My impression is that he has been very upset and angry about the delays in that project. And I do not think Leareth, or Cayaldwin's brother, would have participating in causing such delays." 

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"I still don't really know if we were wrong about Andalites or if they just - pivoted neatly, once they met Leareth and figured out what they could and couldn't get away with."

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"- I am not sure those add up to different things, in the end? Andalites are very... My sense is that they believe what others around them believe, which is what they hear - what is safe and allowed and correct to say - and if Leareth changed what is allowed to be said in public, eventually that will change the consensus. I could be wrong about that, though." 

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"...What should I do now." His expression isn't pleading, exactly, that's not within Mhalir's repertoire, but he's still visibly overwhelmed and stressed. 

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" - I don't know. If they're offering you morph and a look at them I guess you should - do that, we don't have any other access to that, and then - research with Cayaldwin, I guess, if that's what they brought you back for and it's useful -"

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"That makes sense." He was hoping this conversation would leave him less shaky and scared but that was probably a forlorn hope. And he does feel a bit more able to orient to it, at least. "Thank you for coming and talking to me. I - should probably talk to me on the computer. To make sure all of me is actually here." 

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"That makes sense."

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Mhalir picks himself up off the floor and opens the door to look for Leareth. He's holding himself differently - not more confidently, exactly, he's still kind of curled inward and hugging himself, but there's more purpose in his movements. 

"I want to talk to Mhalir on the computer and make sure I am - intact," he says, "and then I want to get morph and try working in Cayaldwin's head." 

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"You can come talk to yourself," Leareth says, pointing him toward that room and then starting to walk there. 

<Matirin, is there anything we want to wait on to give him morph, aside from the uploaded Mhalir checking that the human-embodied one seems complete and intact?>

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<Unless he seems off to you I'm fine giving him morph now.>

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