<Well! Melody suggested that he ask me to fight him in my - hmm, you have probably observed the difference when I am sparring for fun versus fighting for real, and Melody apparently finds me very scary in the latter case, and thought it might be a good test of some sort for Alloran. And, did you know, he is actually much better at fighting that way? He beat me twice. It was exhausting. I think it was good for him, he looked so pleased after.> 

<Huh! I guess that makes - some sense, if he has good instincts and is just unaccustomed to using them.>

<Yes, that was my interpretation of it. Anyway, he seemed much better in general. I hope he will be able to return home soon.> 

<Does he move right?>

<Almost always? Very occasionally he is a little off, I think mostly I noticed it when we were sparring the usual way and not the 'as though trying to kill each other' way.> 

Tail-swish. <I think it will be good for him to be home, but it is important that - he not be making everybody uncomfortable. I don't think that'd be restful for him.>

<Yes, I know. It is just frustrating that Andalite instincts are so much - the way they are.> 

<Those are not terms in which I'd ever thought of it but it would, in the environment we actually live in these days, be good if they were more forgiving, I think.>

<Yes, I agree. I am curious how much it could be shifted by culture - certainly the instincts themselves are innate, but humans have many instincts which in some societies are considered inappropriate and thus paid less attention to. Did you know, there are some monastic orders in Velgarth that forbid eating sugary or rich foods, and allow only the most boring meals? They consider it a distraction that weakens the will, or something. Which I think is dubious, but they are certainly retraining a human instinct.> 

<Our instincts are certainly trained; when Andalites had no means of travel around our world, ones from far away looked wrong and off to us. Not as badly as an injured or disabled person but probably as badly as a person who is adjusting to Andalite form after a while spent stuck, or something. And some Andalite cultures had the instinct about the elderly, while others revered them. I think if everyone else you look to thinks the thing is fine then that's - some data - and over time it gets incorporated and it bothers you less. Whereas if it's bothering everyone else too then that's - also data ->

<That makes sense. It seems like over time it could be shifted that way to be less sensitive generally.> 

Leareth is feeling very faintly frustrated, and - something that isn't loneliness but is maybe adjacent to it. He feels vaguely like there's something still un-communicated between them but he has no idea what it would be. 

Maybe he'll figure it out at some point, with more thought. 

<Maybe so. Maybe if we encounter more people who are morphed Andalite in non-threatening contexts we will over time learn it is not associated with any trouble.>

<Maybe!> A hint of amusement. <Vanyel is so bad at getting the body language. Probably because he spends much more time morphed as various birds than in Andalite form.> 

<I get the sense that being better at spotting enemies and killing people has not been a standing aspiration of his.>

<...Not really, no. I - suppose that is a great deal of why I like this body. I had not been framing it that way.> 

<Well, I find it very endearing that you like this body.>

<I am glad.> Happy tail-wave. <If that is all we had to discuss.... Tail-fight?>

<Sure.>

Then they can spar! 

<I hear you have a more dangerous mood?> he says after a couple of rounds. They're getting closer to evenly matched even without that.

<...Do you want to fight me in that mood? If so I would rather put mage-shields on you first, I managed not to accidentally-almost-kill Alloran but it had felt like a possibility, when I was - in that headspace.> 

<Would you like it? I think it would be interesting but not if it's bad for you.>

<Let me think about it a moment.> He considers. <I am curious to see, at least. I like some elements of it; I might decide after trying that it is on net stressful.>

It was less stressful with Alloran after the first bout, once it was clear that it was good for him and he actually fought better and was closer-matched like that; it was still exhausting but Leareth minds that less in itself. It's not the same kind of slow grinding exhaustion as the war.

He throws some quick mage-shields over Matirin. 

<Of course, if I were trying to kill you it would be extraordinarily foolish to be on the same planet as you> he says, and nods his head, and then they can start.

Leareth doesn't exactly fight differently, in this mood, he's about as fast as usual and not much more ruthless, but something is different. He's not having fun, right now; he's not taking aesthetic appreciation in Matirin's skill, he's shunted aside the entire aspect of himself that - not that sees Matirin as a person, exactly, but right now Matirin's personhood is in the background. The salient categorization running is that Matirin is a threat that needs to be eliminated; that's the part of Leareth that's steering. In the back of his mind, some part of him is watching and tracking that it's still a game, but it's not a big part.