<And so she wants me to be maximally alarming, I imagine. She said I can be very frightening. I - have to say, I am concerned that the difference there is that I am frightening when I genuinely wish to kill someone, and I do not wish to kill you. But - I will attempt to be in the appropriate headspace as much as I can.> His tail waves back and forth. <...Have you had any opportunity to practice sparring while I was away?> 

<No.>

<We should do one bout where I am not trying on some level to earnestly kill you, then> Leareth says dryly. <So I can calibrate. And - I would feel more comfortable fulfilling Melody's request, here, if I can put physical mage-shields on you. Do you mind? It would not prevent me from injuring you but it should be enough that I will not lethally wound you by accident.> 

<You can do that.> He sounds slightly amused.

Leareth does so. 

He's sparred a lot in the last four-and-some months, if not as much as he might have hoped, there were so many snippets of time when it felt like exactly what he needed as a break but he was too damned tired. Still, he's definitely better than he was then. 

He moves into position, and they can tail-fight. This iteration, Leareth is definitely trying to win, but he's relaxed and in control and not really that different in manner from his usual self. 

He observes Alloran's fighting closely. 

Despite not having had practice he's substantially better than he was before the war; it is probably valuable just to have spent those months relearning having a body. His movements have less of the wrong-off nature to them. Leareth's better, though. 

<You move much better now> Leareth says, after he's won and held his tail-blade to Alloran's throat for exactly the customary length of time before lowering it. <I did not notice you freezing up that time.>

He pauses for a moment. <All right. I am going to - try to do the thing that Melody thinks I do differently when I am fighting for my life. I am not going to stop if you freeze up. Ready?>

<Yes.>

And Leareth blurs into motion.

He is, in fact, pretty terrifying in this mood, though he's assiduously not using magic - which is taking a lot of restraint, with his head oriented in this way. 

There is some kind of bizarre way in which this is less stressful, actually. It's pure instinct. People trying to kill you is one of those things that isn't complicated. You try to kill them back. (Presumably Leareth already shielded himself and is not actually at risk of this, but that's not Alloran's problem). People tried to kill Mhalir, sometimes, and it was one of the most uncomplicated sources of delight in his life. He would throw himself wholeheartedly into trying to be slightly distracting. This is better; he can move, he can fight.

(Leareth is in fact equipped with all his usual shield-talismans, and has passive physical shielding up for this, it'll still hurt a lot if Alloran gets a hit on him but he's not actually in danger.) 

- huh. It makes it easier for him too, to keep holding the right headspace, not angry, not scared, just - in danger, eliminating a threat.

Alloran is fighting a lot better this time around. Leareth can probably still win but he's working a lot harder for it. 

Alloran is faster than him, now, and can surprise him sometimes, but this hasn't magically repaired twenty years of not using his body, and fighting on pure instinct is worse than being able to integrate that with actual planning even if your instincts are very good. 

Leareth wins but he's noticeably a bit tired. <That was shockingly better, actually. Again? I expect if we go two or three times you will win one.> 

<That was very satisfying.> He is glowing about it a little bit. <Yes please.>

<I can tell. It seems - good for you.> 

And Leareth will go as many times as Alloran is up for, and accept his inevitable losses with dignity, even though this is actually very stressful and tiring for him. Melody asked him to do this, she thought it would be good for Alloran and she was right, and - it does bring him some satisfaction, as well, to see Alloran pleased and proud about his still-excellent instincts. 

Alloran is tired, too, after five rounds of this, and calls a stop. <Thank you.>

Oh thank the gods, he's getting so exhausted. <You are welcome. And - you are very impressive, you know.> In some ways he had to work harder than he normally does with Matirin, although that could be partly that he knows Matirin's sparring style very well by now and also they're not, as a general rule, anywhere near the 'actually trying to murder each other' headspace.

It's spring - it comes later in the north, but there are patches of new spring grass where the snow melted first. Leareth heads for one. (He does a lot more eating in Andalite form now that he tends to just morph once in the morning and forget about it until his alarm for it goes the next day. Not that Andalites ever risk losing track of time.) 

<I do not have anywhere to be urgently> he offers. <Would you like to hear some things about how the war went?> 

<Yes. I would like that.>

Leareth ends up spending most of the rest of that day with Alloran, pacing and grazing and giving him all the details that didn't make it across in updates to Earth and then to Velgarth. 

Eventually he heads back to Earth. He feels safer sleeping there than here. Earth doesn't have any gods who want to kill him. 

The rest of the week goes by uneventfully. Vanyel takes him clothes shopping, rolling his eyes when Leareth remarks that it's not like he spends much time human and in a shape to wear clothes. He works with Cayaldwin and Mhalir some more. He reads a lot of Earth books, science and history mainly. There's so much and there had been so little time for it, before. 

He hopes Matirin is having a good time, presumably with Finleran. It would have been nice to actually see Matirin when they were finally not-at-war, but maybe at least Matirin will come back from his not-resting less tired and sad. 

He looks less tired and sad, when he comes back at the end of the week. He wanders around meeting everybody and talking to them, apparently without any particular agenda. His tail swings happily.

Leareth has gotten to see plenty of Matirin in recent months and most of the others haven’t. He can wait his turn.

It’s very good to see him looking happy. 

He finds him eventually. <It's good to see you. How are you doing?>

<Better, I think. I have been reading so much about Earth’s sciences. And the non-terrible parts of their history. It never felt as though there was time for that, before. And you?>

<I am also doing better! I wandered Canada. I thought I might have to fight a bear but it ran away when I yelled at it.>

<How fortunate. I think most animals prefer to avoid fights, unless you are threatening their young or something. Did you go with Finleran?>