<Well, if I were going to get along poorly with my family and they'd wish I'd never come back then it would make sense to anticipate that outcome so I could avoid it.>

:That makes sense. What - sorts of factors do you think would go into that, both whether you ended up getting on poorly, and whether, separately from that, it made them wish you hadn't come back?: 

<Well, whether we get along as people. Whether I seem wrong to them. Whether I approve of the things they have been doing and they are proud to tell me about them.>

:You get along with most of the Companions, yes?: 

<I think so.>

:You don't seem hard to get along with at all, to me. Just about everyone in Haven likes you, and I get the sense you like most of them fine. Hmm. Whether you seem wrong to them, I think we've been over back and forth and sideways, that's pretty much the main thing we've been working on. You won't be the same, but I don't think they're expecting that, and you're going to be building a different kind of relationship with your children anyway, now that they're grown. If you're worried about having nothing to say in conversation, well, you've got all of these stories from Velgarth now, and I've never actually seen you lost for words with the foals: She frowns, thoughtful. :Are there things they could have been up to for the last few decades that you wouldn't approve of or be proud of?: 

<Well, if my son - hadn't done well in the military, I suppose that would disappoint me. Matirin said he did, though.

I don't know them. They're strangers. I want something that - won't happen.>

:I'm sorry: She's silent for a moment. 

:That makes a lot of sense: she adds finally. :You lost something that you can't, actually, get back. And - now you're trying to decide whether to go back, to something that isn't, and won't ever replace, the thing you lost: She looks into his eyes. :Do you still want to go back, knowing that?:

<Yes, of course.> 

:I thought so. It - also makes sense to be worried they'll be upset, even if you do nothing 'wrong', just - because they also lost something they can't actually get back, and maybe they don't know that yet. I think they probably do know it, though, and probably there'll be some painful awkward bits and then you'll figure something out. A different thing than before, but worth having. Does that seem likely to you as well?: 

<I think so.>

Nod. :Does it still feel the same kind of distressing, thinking about going back?: 

<I am not sure. Maybe not?>

:Well, it's not a decision you have to make right now, in any case. You can sit with it for a while. Get some sparring in with Leareth. He probably needs it, it's good stress relief for him and I'm sure he's been very stressed. And, I want you to imagine going back, and notice if there are any other sources of distress about it, and if so we'll make sure to talk about those too. All right?: 

<I think that makes sense.>

She would kind of like it if he ever sounded more certain about things related to his own mind, but then again, she appreciates that he always tries to actually think about it.

:I'll want you to write me letters: she adds, conversationally. :Once you leave. I won't realistically be able to make a trip over until Leareth makes his permanent Gate - though I do hope to meet your family someday, I've heard so much about them. Anyway, I want you to say words about your feelings to someone, and I'm guessing you won't end up doing that with your family: 

<I can attempt to write letters.>

:Good: She lets out her breath. :I'm really pleased with how well you're doing: She is not going to tell him how much she'll miss having him as a patient, he would probably find that really weird and uncomfortable. :Anything else on your mind that we should talk about today?: 

<Did Visser Three betray them at any point, during the war?>

:No. Well, not that anyone is aware of. He was only involved directly in the war the first attack, since that he's been on Earth and we've had Thoughtsensers keeping an eye on him. Vanyel questioned him under Truth Spell about the Leera attack that took out the Dome ship, since he'd told Leareth it was an old theoretical contingency-plan, and he had no idea it'd been implemented: 

<Hmm> Tail-swish.

:Are you worried he might be planning something, or that we missed something: 

<I don't know. At this point it seems unlikely. I am confused why after decades and decades of atrocities he would - decide to give up, when he still had a chance to win - he is a deeply evil person. He did not care about the people on Earth. He cared about his people, sort of, but not enough to let it get in the way of anything he wanted. I cannot understand why he did this and it seems important to guessing what he is planning.>

Sigh. :I don't know. He was afraid the Andalites would murder all of his people, which - might have happened - and then Leareth turned up, and was both willing to throw an army he raised to fight gods at stopping the Yeerks from enslaving people, and also committed to saving as many Yeerks as possible and giving them good lives. My sense was that being in Leareth's head might've, well, showed him different things to care about. But I wasn't there for that, so I really can't say for sure: 

<He was in and out of peoples' heads all the time. And lots of them - cared about things he was taking away from them. Wanted to fight him. Were willing to do anything to stop him.>