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Dec 09, 2022 4:00 AM
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Jane inspects their price tags and the dimensions labels that may or may have been there before the Erogame.


And she finds several dildos that she can purchase. 


Jane will purchase one of them!


Nothing impedes her as she goes home to use them. 


Step 1 once she gets back to her dorm room: deep throat the dildo. Yup, I can still do that. It maybe freaks her out slightly less than when she shoved her whole arm down her throat.

Step 2: Jane is hesitating now. This could be painful. On the other hand, if what she's about to attempt is as impossible she should document it, right? After some Googling and watching some videos online she belatedly realizes she will never be able to unsee, she concludes that while the human ass appears to be surprisingly flexible (who knew? people who like anal fisting, apparently), if she can get this thing all the way in her pussy, she'll have made a novel contribution if not to science then to pornography.

In spite the impressive feats she now knows her throat to be capable of, she wants to approach this as cautiously as possible. Until today, she'd been unable to get over her sense that actually having to interact with another human being to purchase a sex toy would be impossibly mortifying, but she does have a cheap (and decidedly not penis shaped) vibrator she'd ordered online, so she gets it out, pulls down her pants, and goes to work. She thinks about a story she'd read once about a woman getting abducted and raped by an extraterrestrial, except the alien explained it was all okay because he'd read her mind and knew she would enjoy it. This situation felt kind of like that—except she wasn't yet sure if she trusted the aliens or whoever it was projecting the purple text into her eyeballs, and it remained to be seen if she'd enjoy what they were asking her to do.

She begins fingering herself as a supplement to the vibrator on her clit, and eventually concludes she's as wet as she's ever going to get. With one hand, she grabs her phone and begins recording, being careful not to include her face, and with the other hand she grabs the dildo. She begins inserting it, slowly, expecting it to begin to hurt at any moment. It doesn't. It feels good. She keeps going, bit by bit, expecting to need to stop at any time, but she doesn't stop until the dildo's silicon ball sack is resting against her taint. She really did it. She pulls the dildo in and out a few times, awkwardly trying to get the action from a few different angles on her phone. Then she hits stop on the recording and pulls it out.

Step 3: Crap. Why didn't she remember to buy lube? The dildo is a bit slick from her juices, but that will that be enough, even with superpowers? She decides the only thing to do is deep throat the dildo again, this time making sure to really, really just slobber all over it. Guess I'm tasting my pussy now, but it's for a good cause. Then she presses the slobbery tip of the dildo against her asshole. Maybe using the vibrator more will help her relax? She tries it. Hope the aliens are enjoying the show, she thinks. Then she pushes the tip of the dildo in. It goes in easily. Then, without really thinking, she slams it the rest of the way in. It only hurts a little.

Holy shit I did it.

Size Queen subquest #2 completed!

+5,000 XP
+1 FUK
You have leveled up!
You have leveled up!
You have leveled up!
You have leveled up!
You have leveled up!
+1 BOD for contemplating alien voyeurs while you masturbate. 

The aliens made good on their promise, Jane thinks, and made me slightly hotter in the bargain. Maybe these aliens aren't so bad after all. Almost like being raped by someone who can guarantee you'll enjoy it because he can read your mind...

And with that thought, she comes.

Once she's had a chance to catch her breath—she contemplates her situation. Non-horny Jane still isn't quite sure she can trust the aliens, or whoever's behind the purple text. Sure, they've seemed all right so far, but well... she once heard a parable about a chicken who notices that the farmer has fed her every morning since she can remember, and therefore concludes he'll feed her every morning forever. And each day that goes by seems to confirm the correctness of her reasoning, until one day chops her head off because he's having chicken for dinner that night.

She figures whether she's destined to get the chopping block in the future or not, she should still find out what she's earned, if only short-term, from all these shenanigans. "Info, stats."


Stats informs her that she has an ERO of 11 and a BOD of 20. The BOD description has changed:

With a BOD of 20, you're the prettiest girl in the room, assuming the room isn't in Hollywood or full of supermodels. 

You can increase this stat through exhibitionism, and other acts that invoke the pure beauty and power of your physical form.

Holy crap, that is a lot of levels. According to her stats display, she now has 20 stat points to spend and a perk.

But first thing's first. She wants a second opinion on just how impossible what she just did was, and the best way she can think of to do that is to anonymously upload the video to PornHub and see what kind of comments it gets. After reviewing the video to make sure she didn't accidentally include her face, she creates her new identity, SuperPussy6213, and uploads the video with the title "Watch me take all TWELVE INCHES of this dildo".

Now, about these perks. What are her options?

Childe of the Night: Stuff happens, you get turned into a vampire, more stuff happens. These vampires are nothing like Anne Rice vampires, and no characters resembling anyone from her novels will appear at any point. Everything's Better with Ero Certified! 1 point + 1 fragment. Available at 50 ERO. Refunded at 80 ERO. 

Ero Inventory: Any portable sex equipment or clothing that you legally own can be summoned by you at will, and dismissed at will to return to its former location. If your ERO is under 50 and you are being observed, you must summon items to inside an unobserved container, or otherwise maintain deniability. If you are displaying cleavage and your apparent cup size is at least C, you may access up to 2000 cubic centimeters of general storage by reaching between your breasts; providing the object could reasonably have been stored there, if your ERO is under 50. 2 fragments. Available. Refunded at 60 ERO. 

Ero-Travel: Your perversions are so twisted as to warp space itself. At the moment of orgasm, you can teleport to any other point where you have previously had an orgasm, providing that both your origin and destination are well-trafficked public travelways (e.g. busy sidewalks, bus stops, subway platforms). While your ERO is less than 50 you must not be observed at the moment of vanishing, and any others present at the destination will happen to be looking away as you materialize, though they will be looking back very soon. At ERO 50+ you may take along any number of partners if you are all stimulating each other and orgasm simultaneously. Traveling longer distances may require more intense orgasms at the origin point, a greater number of previous orgasms at the destination point, or both. Persistent 'points' in space are calculated relative to whatever massive body's gravitational field dominates that point in space, including matching the rotation or orbit of that massive body. On arrival you will be matched to the velocity of your destination point. 'Simultaneous' times at the origin and destination will if possible be aligned to match the predictions of Special Relativity given your origin velocity, but cannot loop time. You can take with you whatever you are currently carrying with your own strength, including clothing. 1 point. Available. Refunded at 80 ERO. 

Erogame What Erogame: You forget that the Erogame exists. The game automatically levels up, distributes stat points, selects perks, accepts quests, and invokes skills in whichever way it thinks will make your sex life the most interesting. 1 point. Available. Never refunded. 

Fake ID: You have an alternative identity whose existence is recognized by governments and computers. You have all paperwork required to support this identity and can choose its background at will; if the alternate you is a different age, nationality, or sex then it is your responsibility to disguise yourself accordingly. No one can make the connection between your identities without you explicitly informing them or them catching you unmistakably in the act of switching. This perk does not modify people's senses of object permanence: someone who locks one of your identities inside a cell will be expecting the same person to be in that cell later. If you change your appearance, they may simply decide you have 'disguised yourself' as your alternative identity. You may take this perk more than once. 1 point. Available. Never refunded. 

It's good to know Childe of the Night is "Everything's Better with Ero Certified!", though Jane wonders if it still applies if she's more turned on by the idea of having a sexy vampire boyfriend than by being a vampire herself. Ero Inventory and Ero-Travel look useful, and... holy shit what is that doing there? Suddenly she's feeling the urge to pick a perk as quickly as possible, before she erases part of her own memory by accident or in a moment of temporary insanity. But neither "Ero" perks nor Fake ID seem obviously useful enough be snap decisions. What else is there?

Forbidden Love: You discover a long-lost sibling: your choice of age, sex, and full or half relation. You may choose to make this a fraternal or identical twin. Their stats begin near human norms. You were separated before the Westermarck effect could apply. Both of you will begin to find the other sexually attractive after your first month of living in the same house as ordinary siblings. You will not remember that this perk exists or that you selected it. 2 fragments. Available. Never refunded. 

Grape Salad: You are now a grape. Other grapes will recognize you as one of their own. You are automatically bisexual, and your PRV and adorableness will increase to an appropriate level. To avoid frustration, we encourage taking Fairytale Painslut along with this perk. 1 perk + 2 fragments. Available. Never refunded.

Goodbye: You may enter any one fictional continuum at the place and time of your choice, arriving in your current form and with your Erogamer powers. You cannot displace an existing character unless you choose to arrive at the time of an extrauniversal summoning, such as by Louise the Zero. You arrive without your metafictional knowledge of the continuum, and able to speak and write the local language. You cannot ever return to the real world. Even if the fictional continuum includes a 'real world' to return to, you will only return to the 'real world' of that fiction. In the true real world, nobody will ever know what happened to you, and any quests that would have depended on you will fail. 1 point. Available. Never refunded.

Home Base: You possess an upgradeable fortress home, initially small and bare, but expandable through the infusion of money, certain offerings, or the completion of various quests. Electricity, water, and Internet access are always provided. Your home initially has an unobtrusive outlet in whichever part of your local territory is most useful to you. Further outlets may be added with underground expansion, or at higher ERO, portals. You may designate small personal areas within your base as not being invadable. You may place vulnerable family and friends in this area, and personal mementos. You may not use it to store prisoners, treasures, or objects of power. 1 point. Available. Never refunded. 

I Regret My Life Choices: Remove any number of perks previously taken. Non-refundable perk points are lost permanently, refundable perk points will return later at the appropriate thresholds. 2 points. Available. Never refunded. 


Why is the Erogame so interested in giving Jane the ability to erase her own memory? And this time in service of incest?

But that can't be what all the remaining options are like. Grape Salad is... making her wonder if "grape" is a type of supernatural creature in a fandom she's never heard of, like "vampire". Goodbye is horrifying again. Home Base doesn't seem that useful right now, but could be useful if for some reason her life got a lot more dangerous. (Is the Erogame warning her her life is about to get a lot more dangerous?) And I Regret My Life Choices is pricey, but having the option there at high cost is better than not having it at all.

So far, Ero-Travel is looking like her best option.

I See You: You are able to perceive, remember, and have sex with anything that would ordinarily be undetectable by you, be misperceived by you, or slip out of your memory. 1 point. Available. Refunded at 80 ERO.

I'm Not Explaining This Again: After you have carefully, painstakingly, thoroughly explained an ero-related concept at least once (polyamory is not cheating, that is not where a clitoris is, how to tie a shibari knot), anyone else you meet will understand it after only a couple of sentences. 2 fragments. Available. Refunded at 70 SED.

Inheritance: You are informed of your hidden blood relation to any one person of your choice, including public figures. They were already aware of this relation and watching you from afar, but could not contact you for some plausible reason. Your revealed relation to this person displaces your biological relation to the corresponding family members. You will not remember that this perk exists or that you selected it. 2 fragments. Always available. Never refunded.

Innocence Temporarily Regained: Your BOD, LST, SED, FUK, and PRV stats are reduced to the minimum of their current levels and 39, 25, 8, 8, and 1. Until it reaches its former level, your PRV stat cannot increase by more than 1 point per 3 days. Memories linked to higher stats cannot be recalled until your stats have again risen to a corresponding level. Skills are not recalled until your stats rise to a compatible level. Your hymen is restored. You retain your ERO. You do not receive the Innocent Virgin status effect. 2 fragments. Available. Never refunded.

James Bond of Bondage: Your ties never cause unintentional pain, never come loose accidentally, and can be applied in less than 5 minutes, including to an unwilling subject who is otherwise being held down or restrained. 2 fragments. Available. Refunded at 50 FUK. 

Okay that's creepy. I See You could be interpreted a lot of ways, but somehow Jane suspects it is not about having sex with neutrinos. If there are already a fair number of invisible monsters running around (or totally visible monsters that just wipe your memory if you see them), being able to know about it would seem apartment. And the existence doesn't seem like that much of a stretch given the stuff she's already seem. Heck, in some ways it would just make sense. She needs to think about this one.

I'm Not Explaining This Again sounds useful, but maybe not the most important thing to get right away.

Oh come on, again with the offer to mess with your family relationships and make you forget it messed with your family relationships. Why?

Innocence Temporarily regained could be a nice safety valve for her stats getting way higher than she's comfortable with... except wait a minute, 1 PRV? Jane likes her PRV right where it is, thankyouverymuch, and the idea of being magically transformed into the least-perverted person in the world is no more appealing than being magically transformed into the most-perverted person in the world. And up to 25 LST, what would 25 LST and 1 PRV even mean? An insatiable craving for missionary? For hand-holding? It dawns on Jane that this perk might be a subtler version of the Chill-Day of the Night, meant to replicate a genre of... romance novel? porn? that Jane isn't into. Which would make passing an easy decision.

And after that, another perk that could be useful some day, but which she has no immediate use for. Hmmm.

Let's Not Turn This Rape Into A Murder: Although the Erogame would not in any case present you with a crippling threat and no alternative, this perk guarantees up front that no sexual assault or sexually motivated kidnapping will result in any damage your Erogamer's Body cannot heal. Think carefully before taking this perk: once you take it you can never again experience the crushing, absolute submission that comes from knowing your very life depends on pleasing your captor. 2 fragments. Available. Never refunded.

Library of Sodom: You automatically know any detail of abstract knowledge that you want or need about any sexual activity that has been described in public writing. For example, directions for how to tie a shibari knot, or that one ought to avoid striking the kidneys with a flogger. This knowledge does not convey skill. 1 point. Available. Refunded at 40 FUK.

Like Uber For Costumes: If you can find any manufactured fetish clothing (not a one-off creation, and you must not have been involved in inspiring it) that corresponds to a profession, you can act with the full skill of that profession while wearing that clothing. For example, using firearms while dressed as a sexy soldier. 1 point + 1 fragment. Available at 60 ERO. Never refunded.

Mad Inventor: You can create devices whose functions correspond to many Erogame skills and effects. These devices cannot be mass-manufactured, but can be loaned to others. You must wear steampunk goggles while wielding this perk. 1 point. Available at 30 ERO. Refunded at 70 ERO. 

Mad Scientist: Your powers give you the ability to test hypotheses about sexuality that conventional science cannot or will not investigate. Use all skills at double their base level whenever you are primarily seeking general knowledge. (Extracting the location of an enemy base does not count as 'general knowledge'.) You must wear a sexy lab coat while invoking this perk. 1 point. Available. Never refunded. 

Nice of the Erogame to reassure her that it wouldn't do that to her, except it sounds like it would put her in a situation where she has to suck dick really good or die. Thanks, Erogame. At least it's giving her fair warning that no it is not the benevolent alien boyfriend of her fantasies. As if some of the previous perks weren't warning enough. But if she is at risk of this, this perk deserves serious consideration.

The rest of the perks are a refreshing list of relatively sane options. Even the "Mad" perks are sane by comparison to Erogame What Erogame. But Uber for Costumes really stands out—could she guarantee acing her biology midterms by dressing as a sexy scientist? If so it's awfully tempting.

Mesmer Inoculant: Guarantee that the Erogame itself will not apply mind control, mind modification, mind replacement, or any other similar effects on any nonconsenting subjects. Effects in this category were either already happening, or are enacted by or on the Erogamer, who is assumed to be consenting to all mind alteration effects that they bring upon themselves by changing their stats, using skills, or taking perks. Anything that looks at first pass like the Erogame mind-controlling someone will in fact merely be probability manipulation; for example, taking the Yousexual perk only guarantees that the people you meet happen to already have been people who would otherwise have been attracted to you, without actually modifying any existing persons' preferences. Taking this perk will render some perks inaccessible and cause other perks to have significantly smaller effects. 2 points. Available. Never refunded.

Milliways: Sometimes, when you open a door, it will open to an interdimensional bar which connects you to other worlds. While you are in Milliways, time stops, and you hear all languages as your native language. You may meet alternate versions of your friends, harem members, or nemeses. First drink is free. Watch out on Valentine's Day. 1 point. Available at ERO 20. Not refunded. 

Naked Before Me: You may touch people as if their clothing and your clothing did not exist. Onlookers not clued in see your hand, shoe, or head resting quietly in the corresponding place---lewd, perhaps, but not obscene---and do not hear any sounds directly produced by the sex act, though they still hear other sounds made by your victim. Similar acts may be performed on you, including by accident. 1 point. Available. Refunded at 70 FUK or 80 ERO.

No: Choose one event to disallow either prospectively, or retroactively up to 24 hours earlier. The event will not happen, either then or at any time in the future. Ongoing processes are not 'events', but their starting points may be considered so. You cannot take this perk more than once. 1 point. Available. Never refunded.

Not Safe For Wizards: You are now a Sasha. Your artistic skill and aesthetic sensitivity will increase, your gender and sexuality will both reset to 'gay man', and your ethics will be replaced with a hardcore survival instinct. If nothing terrible happened to you age ten, watch out for men named Malcolm. 1 point and 2 fragments. Available. Never refunded. 

Perfect Sadist: Inflicting pain on others, no matter how severe, never causes any permanent damage you did not intend. 1 point. Available. Refunded at 40 FUK.

Mesmer Inoculant is the first time the Erogame has demanded a perk point to not do something. Two perk points, in fact, which means no matter how much part of her feels she's obligated to protect the world from the Erogame's mind-control, she can't do it right now. Why is the Erogame so reluctant to give up on mind control? Jane is puzzled—until she realizes that of course many of the things the Erogame claims to be able to do would be awfully difficult without mind control. She guesses maybe they could be achieved by "probability alteration", but she's not sure what that would even mean. Suddenly she's not so sure turning off mind control is a good idea. She doesn't want to mind control anyone for selfish reasons, but what about self-defense? And the Erogame might have a harder time keeping her safe behind the scenes if it can't just Jedi mind trick someone into not hurting her. For all she knows, the Erogame could plan on doing a lot of that behind the scenes without her ever noticing. And Everything's Better With Ero is a perk—does she want to risk significantly weakening its effects?

Milliways could be entertaining—or annoying if she has no control over when ordinary doors suddenly become doors to an interdimensional bar. Naked Before Me has a a similar potential to be either annoying or entertaining. "No" seems worth keeping a perk point in reserve for. Not Safe For Wizards is just bizarre—is this a TV show she's never heard of? And Perfect Sadist is like James Bondage, maybe useful in the future but no reason to take it now.

Real Scientist: Your unusual experiences have given you insight into open questions in human sexuality, leading you to form new testable hypotheses. You instinctively understand experimental methodology and statistics. So long as you report your outcomes honestly, other scientists will discuss your results seriously; and overlook your lack of credentials along with any questions about the morality or possibility of your experiments. You can write proficiently in LaTeX if you are wearing latex. If you simultaneously hold the perks Mad Inventor, Mad Scientist, and Real Scientist, you become able to develop reproducible technology, including the experimental apparatus required for others to further investigate and extend your discoveries. An actual PhD in a scientific field, acquired the hard way, can substitute for the Real Scientist perk in this trinity. 1 point. Available at 30 ERO. Never refunded.

S/layer: In every generation there is a chosen one. S/he alone will stand against and/or lie down with the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness. S/he is the S/layer. 1 point. Available at 55 ERO. Refunded at 80 ERO. Everything's Better With Ero Certified!

Seduce Contain Protect: You are a magnet for any person or sapient entity with a significant chance of producing global catastrophe. They will inevitably cross paths with you and find you highly attractive. 1 point. Available. Never refunded. Everything's Better With Ero Certified!

Sin Of: You may take this perk only once. Choose:

- Envy: Take over another person's life. Everyone in the world now believes unshakably that you are they. The displaced person no longer exists.
- Gluttony: You never get tired, bored, or over-satiated during any pleasurable act, no matter how long it continues. You may accumulate unlimited DOM and SUB from such acts.
- Greed: You find a winning lottery ticket with the lump-sum cash payout option selected. After all taxes are paid, your after-tax winnings are a bit over $100,000,000.
- Lust: At will, you may temporarily increase your LST and/or PRV to any higher level you wish, for as long as you wish, up to a maximum of 100.
- Pride: All stats and skills increase faster.
- Sloth: Removes all time limits for acceptance or completion of quests. Negates or softens all other visible deadlines for accomplishing anything within the Erogame or your life.
- Wrath: Instantly kill anyone you choose. Bypassing quest challenges in this way will reduce their rewards. You may invoke this perk an unlimited number of times.

1 point. Available. Never refunded.

Skip the Boring Parts: Invoking this perk gives you a SED*1% chance to transition directly to whatever sexual encounter (if any) you would otherwise have with a person. You can only invoke this perk on a particular person once. This perk cannot be used to bypass quest-related challenges. 1 point. Available. Refunded at 40 SED.

Damn, the Mad Inventor / Mad Scientist / Real Scientist trinity is powerful. She's not sure how she feels about the amount of collateral weirdness involved in getting ERO 30, but it's an important option to be aware of. And she guesses she could start with Mad Scientist, which doesn't have an ERO requirement, though given that she's yet to acquire any skills beyond the ones she started with, she's not sure how much immediate utility it would have.

Laying down with vampires is the first perk option that really makes her think that could be hot rather than that could be useful. Maybe she should take it? If everything really is better with ero, you could argue that playing it safe actually means doing whatever makes her horniest. Except it requires a whopping 55 ERO, which isn't in reach even if she blew all her stat points on it. And she's even less comfortable with that much collateral weirdness than she is with the collateral weirdness required for the Science! trinity.

But seeing S/layer on her perks list—along with the SCP perk—has another upside, forcing her to realize just how willing the Erogame apparently is to create monsters from whole cloth if it would make her horny. Well, the perk descriptions don't say they world isn't already crawling with vampires, demons, and multiple global catastrophic threats, but it seems unlikely. Which probably means I See You shouldn't be interpreted as meaning the world is already full of invisible monsters she'll be forever oblivious to if she doesn't take the perk. Good to know.

Most of the Sin Of perks sound dangerous... and kind of disturbing, especially combined with everything else she's seen so far. Rather than the benevolent alien boyfriend she'd been imagining while jerking off, it was more like a wizard had shown up on her doorstep saying, "Hello m'lady, my name is Merlin, I am at m'lady's service. What do you want me to do? Make you rich? Turn you into a vampire? Kill everyone you dislike? I will even stop mind controlling people if m'lady insists, though I'd really rather not do that."

Though she has to admit Sin of Greed doesn't sound too bad. A quick Google search confirms her memory that the whole idea of lottery winners usually winding up broke and miserable is a myth. The worst thing about Sin of Greed might be the risk that it could be a waste of a perk. Licensing mad science inventions could make her a billionaire, not just a multimillionaire, if she decides to go that route. Or she could just crank up her BOD and have a career as a supermodel. And if the Erogame is like other video games, she can expect to get quests with escalating monetary rewards as she rises in level. If a perk could be rendered superfluous three different ways just off the top of her head, maybe it isn't so useful.

Skip the Boring Parts sounds uncomfortably mind-controlly, and maybe not even useful given that, as she was reminded when the Erogame started, right now nothing is stopping her from just asking boys "want to fuck?"

Slightly Smarter: The cognitive subprocesses comprising your soul improve slightly in efficiency and computational power, corresponding to a rough gain of 3 points of IQ as it would be measured by contemporary tests. This increase in intelligence is not a game feature; it is real and applies to the true inner you. You may take this perk more than once. This perk is incompatible with Slightly Stupider, and you cannot choose one after having taken the other. 1 point. Available. Never refunded.

Slightly Stupider: The cognitive subprocesses comprising your soul decrease slightly in efficiency and computational power, corresponding to a rough loss of 3 points of IQ as it would be measured by contemporary tests. This decrease in intelligence is not a game feature; it is real and applies to the true inner you. Gain two additional perk points, for a net gain of one perk. You may take this perk any number of times, but you must have one perk point available to start each such series. This perk is incompatible with Slightly Smarter, and you cannot choose one after having taken the other. 1 point. Available. Never refunded.

To Boldly Come Where No One Has Come Before: You somehow get your hands on a starship, enabling you to visit nearby star systems and meet the many interesting and nubile life forms to be found there. 1 point + 1 fragment. Available at 55 ERO. Refunded at 85 ERO.

Truth: Regardless of any other Erogame perks taken and any other powers affecting you, you regain your memories of who you really are, what really happened, and what reality was like before. No further such effects can deceive you. Think hard before taking this perk. 1 point. Available. Never refunded.

Wait I'm Not Ready For This: You may delay up to 10 points of gain in each stat, and up to 5 Lvls of gain in each skill, until you permit it to go through. This does not otherwise affect rates of experience gain or the leveling curve. Permittance may be done partially. Permittance is irrevocable. When first taking this perk, you may apply it retroactively to any gains within the last week. 1 point + 1 fragment. Available. Never refunded.

Zombie Sexpocalypse: An extremely contagious virus turns 99.99% of the human population into sex-maddened creatures bent on fucking anything within reach. You, and everyone you personally like, are among those naturally immune to the disease. While most of the infected die quickly, some retain sufficient intelligence to become hominid animals living off the wilds or on food stores. Defending against their rapes and thefts is an ongoing problem requiring the survivors to band together. Some partially-immune survivors have greatly increased LST and PRV. Use this perk if you're tired of living in a complicated technological civilization. Think carefully before taking this perk, as I Regret My Life Choices may lead to the plague being cured or the zombies dying out, but will not undo the previous effects. 1 point. Available at 30 ERO. Refunded at 80 ERO. 

Given that there are only so many perks she actually wants, it seems likely she'll take Slightly Smarter eventually. Which makes passing on Slightly Stupider an easy choice—it's unfortunately it rules out taking Slightly Smarter, otherwise she could "borrow" perk points using her brain as collateral.

To Boldly Come only makes sense given the other "turn your life into genre fiction" perks.

Truth is... unsettling. Jane can't help but notice that she got stat points to distribute at 1st level, but no perk point. Or did she? What if at 1st level she took one of those perks that makes you forget the perk exists?

Wait, I'm Not Ready For This looks like the safety valve she initially thought Innocence Temporarily Regained was. Glad to know that's there.

And finally, the last perk on the list...



Sin of Wrath was bad enough, but she'd have to be very committed to mass-murder to kill any significant fraction of the Earth's population one at a time. But now the Erogame is telling her that once she reaches 30 ERO she'll basically be handed the equivalent of the nuclear codes. This is a good reason to never, ever reach 30 ERO if at all possible. Even if she can pull that off, the mere existence of this option is making her brain want to jump out of her skull.

Maybe she should just take a relatively harmless perk NOW, to make absolutely certain she doesn't somehow wind up taking a more disturbing option in the future. The memory-tampering perks have her freaked out enough that she's tempted to take Truth immediately. But the perk description tells her to think carefully before taking it, and—

Oh crap I forgot to eat dinner. If she sits around contemplating the Erogame any longer, things are going to start closing and her dinner options will be severely constrained.

But she has one thing to do first: being the prettiest girl in the room is a nice start, but she'd rather be the prettiest girl in the school, at the very least. She hits the "+" sign next to BOD ten times—she can figure out what to do with the other half of her stat points later. Raising SED might be a good idea, but if 30 BOD is enough to get the boys fighting to seduce her, FUK might be more useful for keeping a guy. (The idea of significantly raising LST, PRV, or ERO is still too intimidating at the moment.)

With that, she pulls her pants back up and heads off to dinner.


Esther Kane, the pretty girl from Jane's class, is in line at dinner. 

"You're new."


"No I'm not," Jane stammers.

"No I'm not"? What are you doing Jane. Stay cool.

"We have class together. I'm Jane?"

She maybe should not have made that last statement sound like a question.

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