:I really don't want your head to explode but I am, uh, probably going to ever need you to cope with Leareth doing specific things in the future. Since he's permanently attached to me by the machinations of some god or other:

:............: followed by a number of frustrated swearwords. 

Pat pat?

:I love you: Amshalan says it like she's clinging to a life raft in a stormy river. 

:I love you too:

:I - why is this so goddamned hard - if it's pretty great in the abstract - then - it would be good in specifics too - that follows, right?: 

:Yes:

:...I am noticing that in fact it keeps feeling like I'm maybe going to repudiate you by accident but I - keep - deciding - not - because actually I love you. And this is very important. And it's worth it for stopping a war. But - ow, also this really hurts a lot actually. I'm getting kind of worried I might literally go insane here. ...Maybe if I do you'd at least still count as a Herald and could tell them to shut up and listen?: 

:I... don't actually know how far I can get with 'I had a Companion for ten minutes but then drove her insane with my hubris':

A spurt of mental laughter. :But - ow - but clearly we - OW - need it - your hubris I mean - since the status quo is - a lot of people running around like - goddamnit OUCH - like headless chickens. And - and that's - that's not - it shouldn't - we should, we have to...? Belrun, help, I think that sentence has a perfectly logical ending but for some stupid reason I can't: 

:The status quo is a lot of people running around like headless chickens and the Groveborn accidentally repudiating an innocent, excellent fourteen year old he Chose a year ago and the default outcome probably being the conquest of Valdemar because I don't think Leareth picks fights he can't win so the status quo is not working and we need to figure out something else:

When this doesn't get a response right away she - risks forging ahead a bit more. :Somebody took your soul, your you, and stuffed you into a Companion and that - sets you up to try to wrench me into position with weaponized love, holding yourself hostage to my ability to turn myself into a normal predictable Herald who does normal predictable Herald things, but I can't, I won't, the gods themselves can't possibly expect it. I don't know which ones are doing what bits of all the miracles flying around, but I know it doesn't and cannot cohere into a single vision of a flourishing future and to the extent any god is not working on a flourishing future it is in my way. The whole Companion system itself is - horrifying, and that isn't your fault, but it's got you, and I need you to get out if you can:

Amshalan goes very still, except for the fact that she is maybe very slightly vibrating, in a way that's concerningly reminiscent of of glass about to shatter under just the wrong loud noise. 

She stays that way for a long time. 

:Belrun: she sends finally, and her mindvoice sounds different. The tension is gone, there's just - confusion, emptiness, lost and tired and painfully lonely. :I - we have to personally fight the gods to do this, don't we: 

Belrun hugs her around the neck. :At least some of them:

Amshalan's flanks swell and fall back in a strangely humanlike sigh. :What an unreasonable world we live in. But I guess at least we're in it together: 

:Yeah. I'm sorry, that looked like it sucked:

:Well, you know, on the bright side at least now I'm allowed to think that this whole gods and Companions setup is utter bullshit: 

:Oh good!:

:I might spent the next couple of days mentally swearing at gods, though - hmm, you know, actually it might be smarter of me to avoid drawing any attention to myself. Also we should sleep probably, it's really late: 

:Do you want to try the stable sleepover?:

:Yes, we should– oh! I...think I understand the problem Yfandes is having now: 

:I was wondering about that, is she just stuck halfway through what you just did?:

:That'd be my sense. Only I think with less immediate pressure on it, she could avoid it by just avoiding Van and not-noticing that he's drifting toward being convinced to fight gods if and when it's necessary. And - well, Van is more fragile than you are in a lot of ways. I think she's really scared of hurting him. Unfortunately having his own Companion giving him the silent treatment for days on end is not exactly great for his wellbeing either: 

:Yeah. I'm not sure we should push that tonight:

:Let's not. Given that, I would normally coordinate anything Vanyel-related through 'Fandes, but I won't - can you Mindspeak him?: 

:Yeah.:

:Vanyel, if you want to come back to the stable with me and Amshalan and we can all sleep in a pile, we're up for that: