"So when - part of you doesn't recognize him any more, what is it that seems different?"

:Gods, I don't know. It feels like we're not on the same page. But - not just in an incidental way, it feels like a bigger deal than that. Like he's gone somewhere I can't follow, I guess: 

"Do you want to follow? If you could figure out how?"

:–I mean, I should, right? He's my Chosen: 

"Do you?"

:I...hmm... Yes? I think I do. I imagine him - trying to do something important alone, without my help, and... I can't do that to him: 

"And it turns out the important thing he's trying to do is, well, think from all the angles about what the gods are up to and whether some of it needs to be different."

:Inconveniently, yes: Yfandes says it as though through gritted mental teeth, but she says it at all. 

:...Amshalan?:

:Hmm: Amshalan addresses both of them. :So the thing here is that you've got to empathize with him, right? Which you have everything you need to do, it's just that there's something in the way. I ended up - sort of having to come at it sideways, get closer that way, find things I could acknowledge as true: 

Yfandes nods. Is quiet for a bit. :...Sorry, I think I'm kind of stuck. I'm all right, it's not getting worse or anything, it's just - making it hard to be creative: 

:Yeah, that makes sense.

- this won't generalize hardly at all but it might work for you - Amshalan was asking me about Leareth, and Van knows him too. I think they're sort of friends, if in a weird way, right?:

Amusement. :In a weird way, but yes. He's...given Van some surprisingly good advice, once in a while: 

"So how do you assess - people who give Van good advice -"

:Whether they know what they're talking about, I guess? And, er, whether they actually have his best interests at heart. I was stuck for a long time on Leareth because, well, neither of us could take that for granted about him, in fact we had to assume he didn't. But he did seem to, well, care. And some of his advice made a huge difference to Vanyel, during the Karsite war in particular: 

She tilts her head to one side, looks at Belrun. :Also a lot of why we didn't trust him was lack of information, we had no way to verify his intentions or that any of what he was saying was true. But having you around changes that. So, it's still confusing but I'm more inclined to think he was just sincere. Kind of terrible in a lot of ways, but sincere:

"He is but also he is definitely in opposition to at least most of the gods."

Yfandes' flank twitches. :Yes, I'm well aware, that's not a surprise at all– Huh. That's...easier to think about: 

:Do you think Vanyel has learned useful lessons from him?: Amshalan sends, thoughtfully. :Ones that made him stronger rather than weaker?:

:Oh, certainly. To a confusing extent, even, he must've made Van into so much more of a formidable enemy and - it was still the most likely outcome that we ended up fighting him, right? At least until you showed up, Belrun, now everything's topsy-turvy. Anyway, I used to worry he was just manipulating Van, but...I think mostly he was just giving him tools that made him smarter and better able to think: She glances at Belrun again. :Not sure this is related, but what would you guess motivated him to do that?:

"Optimism that he could eventually get Van on the same page as him."

:Because he believes he's right? And thinks that teaching Van to - be someone who can figure out what's true - will support his cause rather than harm it...: 

Yfandes goes quiet for a little while, but she seems thoughtful rather than tense. 

:I'd buy that: she adds finally. :And - it's good - to believe true things about the world...: She trails off. 

"Yeah. And to figure out if something is true, you have to be able to consider it."

:...Hmm. I...agree...: Yfandes shifts uneasily, her tail flicking. :It doesn't want me to look. I don't know what it wants. I keep asking... I think I have to understand it. To get past this. It - was serving a goal, whatever that - part of me - is. I need to know that - that I can serve that goal better on my own: 

"I think it's designed to prevent Companions from letting Heralds act against the gods, or maybe the specific committee of gods that designed you, but - I think it's likely that whoever designed you got along hundreds of years ago and now has some differences of opinion."

:I suppose that would make sense. So it's...out of date, sort of?: From the weird flat tonelessness in her mindvoice, she is trying to mostly not think about it too hard. :Not - the right way to protect what's important: There's strain in her mindvoice, but it doesn't seem to be directed at Vanyel.