"Oh. Well. Um. It's not... necessarily a submissive act, like, going down on someone with enough... uh... 'oomph' that they can't very well do much more than moan, that could totally be dominant without anyone being tied up, right?"

"Like I said, there are variations that change that reading, being tied up is just the obvious one. But I'm not sure how you add enough oomph that it's not subby without adding so much that it's dominant."

"Well, an example is, like, if both people are doing oral on each other it's pretty symmetrical isn't it?"

"I guess, but that just sounds really logistically complicated!"

"It's not! I could show you—but well, anyway, there's also that. Like, you could add enough oomph that it's not subby while at the same time letting the, uh, taker, take some control? It's more, uh. Like, no one tells anyone anything, decisions are reached by consensus and phrased as suggestions and requests rather than orders and begging?"

"I'm familiar with the keywords. It just sort of fails to snap together coherently in my head. Also I don't know what you're thinking regarding taking control but if you grabbed my hair while I was going down on you I'd probably bite you."

He winces in sympathy for his hypothetical self, but laughs a bit. "No, I don't mean grabbing hair. There's, usually, not any, um, hair grabbing. I mean, sometimes, but it's. Less. A thing."

She shrugs. "Then I continue not to have a mental picture! This is actually really difficult!"

He spreads his hands a bit apologetically. "I have no idea how to explain it better without porn or actually showing you it, but you might feel silly and that'd kill the mood for you, apparently."

"I might get curious enough to look for porn at some point - maybe I'll send you to find me a good example, I didn't really have a good time looking for an instructional video for caning and that I felt a little more urgent about learning."

"Not a good time? What was wrong with caning instructional videos?"

"I'm just really not a porn person! I spent the entire time thinking 'this part is just you reciting your introductory paragraphs, did you have to do it while your sub's already tied up in the background' and 'why did you take off your shirt, what fraction of your audience for an instructional video on caning wants to look at shirtless doms' and 'okay, you've demonstrated the thing you said, you don't need to give her another five swats'."

Snort.

"I just had the best mental image of you being annoyed at your computer and raising your eyebrow at it."

"I may have done."

He giggles some more. "Well, thankfully I'm not exclusively nondynamic and I'm perfectly fine with having you tie me up and cane me and edge me and have your way with me however you want."

"Good. Nondynamicism even once I figure it out is no more than an occasional."

"That's perfectly fine by me."

"Good boy." Snuggle.

Snuggle! "I love you."

"I love you too."

"I was planning to skip it. Are you going?"

"I think I am. Why are you skipping it?"