Oh, yeah, I can do that. Maybe you can teach me to tell time here and I can make myself a watch so we can be consistent about it, my Valian watch isn't very helpful.

"Oh! I can do that." Vanyel frowns for a moment. "...Can I, um, sort of dump it at you with Mindspeech? It's the sort of thing that's easier to explain that way." 

Sure.

And he does, and now Bella knows how people tell time in Valdemar! The answer is mostly that they do it badly! They divide the day up into twenty-four candlemarks, counting forward from midnight, but different places even within Valdemar treat this differently – in Haven a candlemark is a candlemark, but in some places where they use sundials and don't use the actual time-candles that originated the name, the definition is that day and night each have twelve candlemarks no matter the time of year, so the length varies. In Haven, though, there are sundials everywhere that are regularly adjusted, and they have pendulum clocks that don't drift that far off per day, and the Palace bell rings at noon so people can adjust their own various timepieces, and there's a temple bell out in the city that rings every candlemark. People do still sometimes use time-candles for meetings. Vanyel's pretty sure that the Palace bell is magic. Companions always know what time it is too. 

I guess I will make a watch that runs on Haven time once I find a bracelet that works for it, uh, somewhere.

"Um, what needs to be special about the bracelet? If you just need the sort of bracelet that people wear as jewelry, there's lots at the market, I got Shavri a present there when she got bumped to senior trainee." 

It needs a flat panel to serve as backing for the watch illusion.

"Oh, hmm – I've seen girls wear something a bit like I think you're picturing, usually there's a stone or decoration on the flat part but you could take it off. Or ask the smith to make you one to purpose and pick it up the next market-day." 

Sure. I'd just have to talk to the smith and I've been told I'll unnerve people with telepathy.

"You could go with someone who's a Mindspeaker and can translate? Shavri likes going." 

Sounds good.

"Good. I, um, anyway..." Vanyel consults his list, and then winces. "Ugh, this one is so embarrassing, I'm sorry." 

You don't have to apologize to me because you're experiencing embarrassment. If I could possibly administer therapy without having to learn people's embarrassing facts so they could maintain single-person privacy, I would do it.

Vanyel fixes his eyes on a spot on the wall. "I, um, noticed a few years ago that if I'm really overwhelmed and stuck, it helps to cause myself physical pain on purpose. It's weird and stupid, I don't know why, I guess maybe it's just distracting and gives me something else to focus on long enough to snap out of it? I don't hurt myself a lot, I just bang my head on the wall or stub my toe deliberately or bite myself really hard or something. I've got Healing, I'm pretty calibrated on what actually causes damage and I can fix it in about thirty seconds. It's the fastest way to calm down, I don't need to go all the way back to my rooms, I just need nobody to be watching me for a minute or two. But Yfandes thinks it's concerning. We figured out it works the same way if she, er, sort of Mindspeech-screams at me really loudly, but it's tiring and it messes up my ability to Mindspeak if I do it a lot and I need that for the relay. Um, anyway, Yfandes wanted me to ask if you had any ideas for less concerning things I could try?" 

...uh, this is common enough it was in my textbook but I don't remember what it said to do. I'll see what I can work out by extrapolation. It sounds like it helps if there's anything - arresting, startling? At least mildly unpleasant? about it. Loud noises? Bitter herbs?

"I'm not sure it has to be unpleasant? Just attention-grabbing. I think, I don't know, jumping into a hot spring all at once would probably do it, and that's not unpleasant but it is startling. But I can't do that if in the middle of teaching a lesson or something and can only duck out for thirty seconds. I guess I could try making a sound-barrier and then a really loud sound inside it so no one but me can tell."

I wonder if a little shock like touching a metal doorknob sometimes gives you would do it.

“Maybe? I don’t know what makes a doorknob sometimes shock you and sometimes not, though, I’m not sure how to do it on demand. I guess I could hit myself with a really tiny levinbolt but...my control might not be good enough if I’m in the middle of being really upset.”

I'm wondering if I could make a magic item for it but if we don't know if it'd work that isn't going to be worth the dev time.

"It could be the kind of thing Savil could make an artifact for really quickly? Although I, um, don't know what I'd tell her for why I wanted it – ooh, actually, I can just say it's for testing students' shields or something. It would be good for that too. I'll ask her and if it's not hard for her to make then I can test it. And I can try the loud noise."

He smiles tentatively. "Bella... Thank you for being calm about it. And not lecturing me or being all horrified. It's...way easier." 

That's my job.

"You're good at it. Anyway," glance at list, "I was trying to pay attention to the pinches you did and whether I want to keep them, and I think most of them are helpful and I do, but...there's a couple that were associated specifically with good memories I have about Tylendel? I still couldn't cope with them before, when it was all a...giant tangle of badness...but it's not, now, thinking about Tylendel makes me sad but it doesn't get me stuck in the horrible void thing. And, um... It's just, walking by a place and noticing that I have a happy memory with him there and not feeling like it really happened there, or something, it feels weird and fake and...I don't know. I don't like it. If you undo the pinch I'm probably going to burst into tears every time I see one of those places but I might still prefer that to, I don't know, it feeling a bit like I must've dreamed or imagined the memory." 

Sure, tell me which ones and I can undo those and reinforce the ones you want to keep.

Vanyel goes over the ones he wants to keep and the few that he doesn't. 

"...Um, the last thing is more just complaining, I don't think you can do anything about it. I really don't like having a giant hole in me. It's so frustrating. Especially now that it doesn't feel like it's about anything. It's just there hurting for no reason all the time. I hate it." He sits back. "Sorry, done whining." 

I would be so bewildered and concerned if you thought having a giant hole in you was great.