"Is there a reason you can't just say 'I would prefer not to have a bunch of elf slaves'?"

"'Cause - I dunno, I feel like if I were a slave and someone was like 'hey, you're free, no really, but also I'm going to keep attempting to assign you things and organize Christmas', I would not super believe them? And even if I did believe them, I would be kind of unclear on what that meant. Like, I could try removing whatever mechanism the previous Santa used to control you, and then assume that without that in place you could do what you wanted, but I'm honestly super unclear on how he managed it, given that you're all reality warpers and as far as I can tell my powers are pretty much, uh, season-specific warm fuzzies."

"Well, if you're sad, then you can't be a good Santa, and then Christmas is worse."

"So, what, the previous Santa just showed up and informed all of you that you were his slaves, and you had no strong feelings about this and just sort of went 'sure, seems legit' for a hundred and fifty years despite the lack of any kind of enforcement mechanism, because that would make Santa happy?"

"...Are you going to want us to not make you food and take care of your kids and clean your house?"

" - I mean, I don't know, will it make you sad? Or mildly annoyed?"

"No, because it will make you happy, and then Christmas will work better."

" - what if I was totally neutral on making my own food, what would you want then?"

"Probably you should still let us make your food because cooking takes time."

"OK, y'know, valid reason.

" - I think the part of this that makes me uncomfortable is having a bunch of people who don't know me at all but are strongly motivated to make me happy because I was sort of arguably responsible for killing their previous master, who they also wanted to make happy but who they seem to have been kind of upset with anyway, and also they're just psychologically inhuman enough that I do not have a clear picture of what doing right by them looks like."

"I was more upset with him than most of us were?" Lev tries. "We didn't mind it that much really."

"Well - honestly I still have no idea what that means for what I should do on this front? But - maybe it'll be easier to figure out what I should be doing once I meet more elves, or something."

"We can go to the North Pole now if you want."

"Yeah. I guess. I should... probably pick up my kids and explain stuff to them, but honestly they might be the sort of people who are best served by being whisked away to the North Pole and then being offered an explanation."

"I love showing kids the North Pole!"

This is kind of all utterly ridiculous, but at least it's the sort of adventure where people approve of her bringing her kids along.

"Aww, great. Then I guess we can head home and pick them up."

And they're back at Karen's house!

She goes to find them. They're playing in the backyard, not really together.

"Hey Connor? Zana? There's someone here, and I'm, like, eighty percent sure that he's gonna take us to the North Pole in a second."

"What?"

"What??"

Probably a maximally responsible person would wait to get consent before going forward, but that strikes her as pointlessly annoying, and she feels like she was excellently served by being teleported to the moon and that the case for teleporting Zana and Connor to the North Pole is honestly even stronger.

"Go ahead," she tells the elf.

The room they wind up in isn't that different from their room at home, just a little bit nicer.  

There's a comfy couch and a bunch of comfy chairs, and four bookshelves full of science fiction, and a Bible on a side table, and a television with a game system hooked up, and Star Trek and X Files posters on the wall.

"What is this."

"Honestly I haven't been here before? This person just showed up and explained to me that I was somehow involved in the death of Santa, who is a real person, and that this meant that I had to become the new Santa, and normally I would not be quite gullible enough to believe this, but then he teleported me to the moon, and that made it a lot easier to believe. So I figured that instead of trying to convince you that I wasn't crazy, we could maybe skip some steps and just teleport you to the North Pole. Except apparently the North Pole doesn't look that different."

"Should I have teleported you to a different place? I thought Santa's house was a reasonable place."