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Nov 27, 2020 11:56 PM
Bruce Banner is the Erogamer
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"Yeah okay I would probably fuck a sapient octopus even without fabulous bribes."

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"Should I hope the Erogame gets me a tentacle clit."

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Leia is just the absolute best. "Why limit your ambition? Hope for the ability to swap back and forth! Also have I mentioned that you're the absolute best."

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"Maybe I can have an ovipositor and a cunt and wear whichever one I want today." 

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"I know there's a perk for being able to put parts on and off once you have them, so probably."

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"Aliens are good. I want to meet aliens. You have the best kinks."

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"There is also a perk for meeting aliens and I am absolutely taking it as soon as my stats are high enough and things on Earth are a bit more stable. C'mon, let's go check out the aquarium." He's hoping there's going to be a convenient ad for some sort of octopus-related part-time job, but even if there isn't it'll be fun.

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The aquarium is significantly more crowded than usual.

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Well, it was a very eye-catching ad campaign. Also everyone just seems to be more excited about cool stuff in general, which is a very broad but relatively non-sketchy way of incentivizing more sex. But never mind that, look at those bioluminescent jellyfish! 

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Bioluminescent jellyfish!!

Leia keeps elbowing him and telling him that that one looks cute.

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They do look cute, except the ones that look pretty or elegant or fabulous instead. 

"I bet it would be really cool to be aquatic and neutrally bouyant. Like zero gravity, except instead of there being no down there's a down but it's equally easy to move any direction."

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"I think if you're neutrally buoyant there's not a down, there's just a towards-Earth's-core."

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"Hmm, maybe. Doesn't some of your sense of down come from the fluid in your ears and where your organs are in your abdomen and stuff?"

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"Hm. Maybe. We should try it."

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"We should! I bet we could do it in one of the swimming pools with the right weights and math."

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After a reasonable amount of time spent looking at octopuses, Leia gets out her phone. "Bruce, you might want to take a look at the news."

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"O-kaay." What's on the news? Probably something sexy and existentially questionable!

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A number of prominent creationist religious leaders have simultaneously announced that God's voice spoke in their hearts and told them evolution was true! God is also apparently reconsidering His historical teachings on homosexuality and gender roles. 

The president has announced new trans rights legislation, including both nondiscrimination legislation and legislation which opens the way to all trans-related surgeries and treatments being available on an informed consent basis! The president also intends to promote comprehensive sex-positive sex education in schools.

In response to criticism of scientific inaccuracy in movies, Hollywood movie producers have decided to create a Board of Science with similar powers to the MPAA rating board! Expert observers expect the shame of the F rating to make science fiction more accurate.

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Okay so apparently it is possible to feel helpless in the face of forces beyond his comprehension and also really excessively powerful at the same time. Fortunately this aquarium has benches he can sit down on.

Probably he should not have made people hallucinate God . . . except is it really a hallucination if it says true things and comes from an actual ultrapowerful nonhuman entity? At least the healthcare and the movie labels are good. The whole thing feels a bit like that bit in Forbidden Planet where the human realizes the monster is his own worst impulses given tangible form by alien technology.

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Leia gives him a hug. "You have good wishes for the world."

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"I always hate it when movie characters turn down opportunities to do something important by saying 'no one person should have this much power' but now that it's actually happening I kind of feel like I shouldn't have this much power. Doesn't help that I don't have any conscious control over any of it and the only way I could try to steer it is by changing what kind of person I am."

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"I mean, it's working out okay so far."

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"Yeah, I can't actually complain about any of it. It's all exactly the sort of thing I like, and if the Erogame is more willing to do things I like than I would be that probably says more about me than the game. It's . . . I don't actually want off this bus; I just wish it had visible doors. Or more of a route map. I'll get used to it."

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"I bet you can influence the route with perks. --How long until you get your first perk?"

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"Well, theoretically I could take two perks now, but I get an extra perk if I don't take any until level 10, and between that and wanting to get a better model of what's going on I've been putting it off. I should probably decide which ones I want in what order, though."

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