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marlo lane is the worst erogamer
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"...you're claiming your life has turned into a porn video game. What."

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"Do you think I like it, I'm a police officer, how do you think that intersects with this." 

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"I'm imagining your uniform turning into a sexy cop uniform."

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"It hasn't done that yet, thank God, but there are a really improbable number of sex workers who want me to be aware that they'd do anything to avoid being arrested, and they definitely don't usually ask you to do undercover work your first day in a new department, and I would very much prefer not to get popups telling me that a quest called Police Brutality is available." 

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"Aaaaaaaaaaaa."

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"— Jesus fucking Christ." 

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"Yes, I know." 

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"--uh, I'm going to be honest that I think you're tricking me because that is way more probable than a porn video game that is able to control minds but hasn't given you any noticeably supernatural powers."

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He doesn't especially want to do this, he likes his face the way it is, but — how many stat points does he have? Ten? 

He puts five of them in BOD. 

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"--did Marlo just shapeshift into a hotter version of Marlo," he says to Sasha.

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"Marlo just shapeshifted into a hotter version of Marlo," Sasha confirms. "Em, what the fuck." 

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"I have a deeply concerning statblock," he repeats. "That was five points' worth of change to the physical appearance stat." 

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"Can you put it back."

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"Nope. And all my stats go up whether I want them to or not." 

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"...I'm sorry."

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"...this isn't the stat I'd most mind putting five points into and it would go up anyway next time I was shirtless in public, but thank you." 

He's aware that that isn't really the point. 

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Lev hugs him. 

"...I'm sorry you got the magic sex game instead of, like, me."

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"Or me, I actually like casual sex." 

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He hugs them both. 

"I have you two and without it I wouldn't." 

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"...did this game by any chance show up on Thursday." 

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"Yes. It did." 

(He's not sure how much Sasha has told Lev and that's not his secret to share.) 

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"What happened on Thursday?"

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"Marlo started acting weird, and also that was the day I found out my cancer was gone." 

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"...Thank you."

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Quest objective complete: Tell Lev About The Erogame

+600 xp
Lev has Real Scientist perk
Total: 1085
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