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Jul 23, 2019 4:20 PM
marlo lane is the worst erogamer
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Marlo Lane
"The Erogamer"
LVL: 1 (0%)

DOM: 2/100
SUB: 15/200
BOD: 20 (+)
LST: 1 (+)
SED: 6 (+)
FUK: 4 (+)
PRV: 19 (+)
ERO: 10 (+)
Points: 5
Money: $1,220

Status Effects: None

Description: Marlo Lane is a novice police officer hoping to make a difference. For the last year, he has been consumed with anxiety about Sasha Michaels, his best friend, who has been diagnosed with cancer and is expected to have no more than three months to live. His desperation to save his friend has opened him up to the possibilities of the Erogame.


Erogamer's Body (Lvl MAX): The biological ability to live your life as an erogame. Venereal disease doesn't exist for you, or pregnancies or refractory periods. Arbitrarily large appendages can fit inside any of your orifices. You heal from all marks with a good night's sleep, ready for the next day's adventures. Other aspects of this skill depend on the BOD stat.

Erogamer's Mind (Lvl MAX): The mental flexibility to live your life as an erogame. You're more able to accept the realities of your new world. You'll also bounce back from painful, upsetting and bizarre sexual experiences with relative ease. Rape can be anything from a recoverable trauma to a Tuesday afternoon, but it won't ruin your life. Other aspects of this skill depend on the FUK, SED, LST, and PRV stats.

Erogamer's World (Lvl MAX): The consent of reality to live your life as an erogame. People are never too preoccupied to consider sex or romance, not while you're around. Bystanders won't ignore what you do, but they're unlikely to actually stop you. Those who do decide to involve themselves are drawn into the logic of the Erogame. If you go far enough that an authority sees no choice but to intervene… they won't treat you as a simple criminal. Other aspects of this skill depend on the ERO stat.

To Mine Own Me Be True (Lvl MAX): Even at the center of the Erogame, you are not just an erogame character, but a human being possessed of his own free will. Your family will always be safe from you, and little children everywhere.


True Love Conquers All: If you love someone enough, nothing can ever permanently separate them from you. The only exception is their wishing to leave you---deliberately, voluntarily, and based on correct information. People you love will live out a full natural lifespan and they will never die before you do. If they ever face serious physical or psychological harm, you will always get a chance to rescue them. This applies to any type of love, not just romantic love. If you would undergo hardship and sacrifice to protect someone, if losing them would leave a scar on your heart that never fully heals, then you will be able to take care of them, and in time you will always be reunited. 

Info // Character Stats // Level:

At LVL 1, and 0% progress toward the next level, you'll never be this weak again. You can increase your level by completing the quests the Erogame offers you, or by causing romantic and sexual events to happen to you or around you. The more difficult the challenge, the greater the rewards.

Info // Character Stats // Body:

With the average being 10, and perfect 10s being 40, your BOD of 20 makes you solidly the most attractive person in the room, assuming the room isn't in Hollywood, California. 

You can increase this stat through exhibitionism, and other acts that invoke the pure beauty and power of your physical form.

Info // Character Stats // Lust:

At a LST of 1, you're very nearly asexual. For now, anyway.

You gain in this stat while experiencing sexual urges that are unusually intense or that go on unusually long.

Info // Character Stats // Seduction:

Your SED of 6 makes it possible for you to get a date with a girl who doesn't have anything else to do that Friday. Could be worse, but could be much better.

You can increase this stat by arousing the romantic interest or sexual desire of others, and successfully pursuing them or being caught.

Info // Character Stats // Fucking:

Your FUK of 4 means you'd better be extra careful with your teeth. As for other bedroom skills, have you considered trying to… well… move?

How do you increase this stat? Take a guess.

Info // Character Stats // Perversion:

Your PRV of 19 despite your total romantic isolation is a sad commentary on the decadence of the third millennium. Nonetheless, casual exposure to a variety of naughty ideas has left you open to a whole host of things you prefer not to think about.

You can increase this stat by being a little less close-minded, and acting accordingly.

Info // Character Stats // Erogame Logic:

At an ERO of 10, your life has become an erogame taking place in a mostly realistic setting. What happens to you might seem unlikely to others, but it won't break their belief in a sane universe… yet. Witnesses will reach for explanations other than the Erogame, but they'll still notice the unusual events.

If you keep pushing probability to its limits, then probability will learn to be a bit more flexible down there, relax and take it in and not protest so much.

Info // Character Stats // Dominant and Submissive Energy:

If this were a different game, you'd have mana and hit points.

It isn't.

Total: 1085
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...this is a long list of things he doesn't like and doesn't want, but — "people you love will live out a full natural lifespan." 

He can't not click yes. 


After he clicks yes he rereads the entire purple block, tries not to think too hard about what quests are going to involve. Hovers over the stat points, raises SED twice and FUK three times, rereads it again. 

He kind of wants to go and throw up. He doesn't do that. 

Quest available: Get Laid

With BOD 20, ERO 10, and the wonders of the Internet, how hard is it to find someone to suck your cock?

Success: +250 xp
Failure: Shame about your unworthiness to be called the Erogamer


That choice, on the other hand, is easy. 

He clicks N. 

Quest available: Feel Someone Up

Some things you like to save for when you're in love. But you get to first base on the first date, these days.

Success: +150 xp
Failure: More shame about your unworthiness to be called the Erogamer


He can think of things that sound less appealing than feeling a girl up because the video game he has apparently been dropped into told him to, but not many. N again. 

Quest available: Kiss Someone

Okay, look, this is the Erogame. It's ero. As in sex. At some point you are going to have to do something sexual with someone.

Success: +100xp
Failure: Abject humiliation at your unworthiness to be called the Erogamer.


Yes, well, that point is not now. N. 

Quest available: Smile at someone.

I give up.

Success: +50xp
Failure: whyyyyyyyyyyy


....yeah, okay, he'll take that one. Y. 

Finding someone to smile at takes about three minutes. 

Quest complete! Smile at someone.

Was that so hard?

+50 XP
Quest available: It's Not Your Fault

The Erogame is making you masturbate. It's not like you decided to do it on your own.

Success: +1 PRV, Sasha gets something he's always wanted
Failure: The test is ambiguous. Sasha has to wait an additional 24 hours to learn whether his cancer is in remission.


That isn't fair. 

He can't not pick Y, not with a reward for success like that. Obviously that's the point, but that doesn't mean he doesn't hate it. 

He goes back to his apartment and takes a shower and — tries not to think about the failure condition — thinks about Sasha getting something hes always wanted and how happy he'll be — 

— ugh. He hates doing that. At least he's already in the shower. 

Quest complete! It's Not Your Fault

Secret bonus objective Enjoy Yourself failed. 

Your PRV has gone up by 1!
Masturbating slightly more often than you usually do has caused your LST to go up by 1!

His phone buzzes. 

cancer's gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


that's awesome!!!! 

do you need a ride home  


thatd be good yeah 

but m it's GONE 


it is!!!!!! 

Quest available: It's A Hot Day

Go outside without a shirt and remain that way until three people see you who are going to masturbate thinking about you tonight. 

Success: +100 XP
Failure: 'Shy' status, two days

....yeah, whatever. He clicks Y and takes his shirt off and grabs his car keys. 

The drive to the hospital is pretty short; the waiting room is mostly full. 


The second he enters the waiting room:

Quest complete! It's A Hot Day

+100xp for finishing after less than thirty seconds of observation. 
Forgetting your shirt at home has caused your BOD to go up by 1!
You have leveled up!




Sasha does not run at him to hug him, but you get the sense that he wants to. 


"Hey! — c'mon, let's get some ice cream into you."

Quest available: Longing

Sasha's hair looks so soft. Wouldn't it be nice to know if it felt as soft as it looks?

Success: +250 xp, a warm glow of satisfaction
Failure: ????



He hesitates, then clicks Y and gets in the car. 

Sasha chatters on the way to the ice cream place — apparently a band he'd always wanted to see is in town and the tickets are weirdly cheap — and orders an objectively ridiculous bowl of chocolate, which is good because he's lost a scary amount of weight in the last few months, and Marlo gets a scoop of caramel and watches him eat. 

His hair does look soft. 


When Marlo's been silent for a few beats too long Sasha looks up, makes a soft questioning sound. 

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