"Yeah it was. Not a great set of things that happened. --Marlo and Asher go out on camping trips and, like, silently observe trees together and occasionally bring home a deer or an elk. I don't know. I am not a big fan of nature myself."

"...glad he's got that, anyway." 

He's just going to curl up into a ball and that'll have to be fine. 

There are little white spots on Lev's palm from how hard his fingers are digging into it. 

"So, uh, fanfiction," he tries. "That's different in different universes."

A short person with curly hair wanders into the hallway.

"--Wait, what the fuck, why is there an Old Sasha."

"Why is Tiny Me so thin?"

"Lev, this is Other Lev, he's from an alternate universe where fundamentalists took over most of the United States and turned it into an oppressive theocracy, but he's okay because he lives in Cascadia which is hella progressive and big on youth rights, and this is Other Me, currently going by Noonlight to differentiate, he's me but from an alpha/omega universe like in fanfic. Guys, this is my Lev, he's thin because his mutant power feeds on calories." 

"Other Me is old."

"I think we're going by 'Cascadilev' and 'Xenolev', to differentiate."

"Why do I have to be named after my kink?"

"Ask Asher. --Was I ever that small. I don't think I was ever that small."

"Probably you were at some point! Lev you should cuddle me." 

This is a good plan! He does. 

"Oh good! You two are dating! --I am married to my Sasha," Cascadilev explains for what feels like the hundredth time.

Bounce bounce bounce. "He's SO GOOD."

Bounce bounce bounce.

"He really is!!!!"

"You're both adorable," he informs them, and hugs his Lev. 

"Oh god I'm so cute. How am I so cute. I can't believe I was totally unaware of how cute I was."

"I'm probably going to start feeling insecure about how much better you are than me."

"I mean, same, but just let me bask in the cuteness for a bit before I start worrying about how you've achieved so much more at seventeen than I did."

"Okay, but you don't have powers-- unless you do--"

"--I don't--"

"--so your accomplishments are real and the only reason I've accomplished anything is that I'm cheating."

"Your accomplishments are also real and I love you very much." 

"No, see, when I was seventeen I was a normal high school student, I wasn't helping run a superhero team and a major charitable foundation!"

"What are you doing now?"