"I love you lots but don't blow off SHIELD." 

"If I never blew off SHIELD I'd never have time to do anything but help SHIELD. --So am I an alpha or an omega?"

"Alpha. Dating a trans omega but you just call him 'my boyfriend.'" 

"Wonder who that is. And I bet I didn't include anything else about my identity."

"Not particularly but I can ask Cascadia Lev if any of the anecdotes I know remind him of anyone." 

"Maybe it's Z."

He laughs. "It's not Z, I'd know if it were Z, I'm dating Z. Also he isn't a trans omega, he's a gamma — catchall term for lots of different intersex things —" 

"You should tell the other me to date Z! Z is great."

"I can't, the other you is monogamous." 

"That's weird. I mean, I guess I'm bi, it's not that weird that I'd be another sexual minority."

"You got some discourse about it a while back and apparently your reasoning was that your boyfriend was just so good that you don't want to date anyone else." 

"Okay, yeah, that sounds like me. --It's just that Sasha and Z are both so good I don't want to date anybody else!"

"Well, I know it isn't him or me or Marlo." 

"I can't imagine me dating Marlo anyway. I annoy the shit out of him."

"Apparently the Cascadia versions get along great," and he keeps a hand on other Sasha's back. 

"Maybe they got off on the right foot."

He sits on the couch, a few inches away from Noonlight, so Noonlight can touch him if he wants to.

Noonlight doesn't especially want; he curls up against the other him instead. "Maybe." 

"Z's busy for complicated reasons but I can probably get our Marlo to come give you a hug if you want."

"— I have a tragic backstory and the things I need out of hugs are really specific and it would be weird. But maybe." 

"Okay. --I'll do my best to figure out how to get you back."

"Thank you. — you probably should deal with the alien, if there's no shortage of alien experts there's probably a reason they called you specifically." 

"Okay, I'll go talk to them."

"Bye."

He curls against the other him and tries not to think too much about anything. 

Let's do this one last time.

My name is Levva, and I'm a grey.

I'm clumsy and I have motion sickness and asthma and no pain tolerance and I'm too weak to carry much of anything and I hate all sports with a burning passion.

I was planning to get a desk job in the military but I flunked out of basic training. In theory I'm looking for new jobs but in practice I spend my days indulging my fetish for greys who are better than I am and updating my blog about economic policy, which I can't accept money for because I have no income. I love babies so so much but I'm so dysgenic it wouldn't be ethical for me to ever have one. And I'm Voan which just adds insult to injury. I hope someday I can swap to Anitam and live on their social services forever.

I'm not okay.

And then--

The world flashes green and Levva wakes up on an unfamiliar street corner that smells strongly of pee. He pulls his knees into his chest and cries.

An alien comes up and babbles to him in an unfamiliar language. He half-heartedly tries some Voan. The alien goes away.

About half an hour later an alien in some sort of uniform appears and babbles at him, and then talks into some sort of primitive everything, and then some other aliens in uniforms show up and babble at him apologetically and take him into a truck. He doesn't resist. He tries to tell the aliens he's polluted but they don't speak Voan. Probably the aliens don't care about pollution anyway.  

He ends up in what is recognizably a prison cell. There's a toilet in his room with him. He's polluted and in prison and they're going to execute him. He curls up in a ball and cries and goes to sleep.

Eventually he is woken up for some sort of medical procedure. He suffers through it, pollutes all the medical techs, and eventually goes back to sleep. Everything is less scary and overwhelming when he's unconscious.

"--are you sure the alien hasn't done anything but sleep since--" He pauses. "That's a Lev."

"A Lev?" the SHIELD agent says.

"It's not an alien invasion," Asher says. "Doc Ock the second summoned a bunch of copies of my ward from alternate universes for some reason. I guess this one is from a universe where he isn't human. Leave me alone, I'll try to talk to him."