... sniffle.

"Okay! Good! I like you too, a lot, it's - probably why I flinch so much at - this, because I like having your trust and support and. Don't like when it's not there. Which I suppose isn't very fair, sorry."

"I think it's fair. I want you to feel like I trust you and I want to support you and I—want you to expect it of me." I love you.

"I - okay. ... Though, you - seem to do this thing where you expect that background of respect and appreciation to be obvious even when it's unspoken? And I can't - please show it. Directly. With your words and actions, not just, just. 'Well I didn't criticize it, so clearly it's fantastic.' Been there, done that, Hideyoshi also basically only gave me criticism, by the end."

"...okay. I can try that." He shakes his head. "I will do that, I'll just... fail. A lot. On the way there. But I'll get there."

"Okay. Thank you. .... Would it help if I gave you a - an overview of my current emotional state and the history of said emotional state, as pertains to the topic of Kang Jaeha? I... guess I haven't been very good at displaying it."

"Yes. ...but let me finish saying the things I wanted because I feel like I'm going to want to argue—or, not argue—defend myself—and—um."

"Oh. Okay. Carry on."

"...what was I saying... right.

"Okay. So. Um. I, I was talking about... Okay. Um.

"One of the things is that—Woo-young was really angry. Really, really angry, with him, five years ago. And I wasn't, I was—hurt and. Um." weak sad pathetic contemptible "And—the thing he said earlier. I think he was right. I, I think I might need to yell at him about it. I couldn't think about—everything—and if I even tried it felt like—I was making excuses. For him. Or, or, or trying to, to make it not as bad. I don't know. Because I didn't know how bad it was and I, I still don't, I think. It's all a mess in my head. But he was so, so angry, and I'm not, and—and it was hard. And scary." Because he's weak and sad and pathetic and contemptible. "To try to think about it. And engage with it. And so now I'm having to learn it again. And so I—it's not that I don't trust your reasoning, Hye-jin-ah, it's that I can't reason about it and I, I need to, to do it from scratch. From the ground up. I need to do all of the reasoning by hand, step by step, and I need to—check your answers—fuck that just sounds like I don't trust you but—it terrifies me." Because he's weak and sad and pathetic and contemptible.

He giggle-hiccups and squeezes his eyes shut, traitorous tears sliding down his cheeks. "I hate the hell iPhone. I hate it so much." He hates how, how effective that stupid one-time joke Woo-young made once has managed to, to, to make him able to deal with it so much better. He can now go, oh, it's the autocomplete from hell, I'm just thinking the worst possible things about myself, and then he stops.

Tae-gun's not weak and sad and pathetic and contemptible. He's just human.

Oh. Oh, poor Tae-gun. Huuuuug. Such hug, and petting.

"Checking my answers is fine? I - dungeon metaphor, apparently I only know how to think in these things now - I'm not bothered if you don't agree with my tactical conclusions or want me to explain them. The problem's when... I guess it's when the hell iPhone autocompletes what looks like my logic that it - hurts. Because my hell iPhone goes, 'Ah, yes, that's what he actually thinks of you and your logic,' because, um. I am also a mess. Sorry."

Another giggle-hiccup. "Yeah."

"You're both huge messes," says a teleporting Woo-young—

He doesn't screech because, one, it'd be undignified, and two, he's hugging Hye-jin, but he very definitely jumps.

"We have just established that, thank you," snorts Hye-jin, amused.

"But since I'm so nice I got you bingsu anyway," he says, offering them a bowl each with their favourite toppings.

"You're a dick."

...but he's not gonna say no to bingsu.

"Thank you, Woo-young-oppa. But yes I agree."

"It's a gift."

And he vanishes again.

Well trust Woo-young to be a dick and nevertheless make Tae-gun stop crying and feeling sorry for himself.

"I trust you, Hye-jin-ah. And I—it was scary to engage. It still is. And I, I know it doesn't justify the, the, um, but I just. I don't think you're—those things you said." ...Lee Tae-gun she literally just said that "absence of criticism isn't the same as positive regard", surely you can hold this in your working memory for three minutes. "I think you're smart, and competent, and kind, and thoughtful, and—even before I was—able to talk about this, when it was just you and Woo-young—I would've trusted whatever you decided to do."

"Oh." Yeah, she had no idea he would have trusted her whatever she decided to do. He - mostly seemed like he was trying very hard not to engage, not. Trusting her with his once-love's final fate. "Thank you. I appreciate that." She kisses his forehead. "A lot."

Well he was also trying very hard not to engage, but the only reason he felt like he could do that rather than set himself on fire and engage anyway was because he trusted her.

"So, u-um. I think that was. All. I was thinking about."

Yeah, that distinction is not clear to anyone besides him, and maybe Woo-young.

"Okay. I think we managed to cover most of my stuff over that, though I can still give you that emotional overview?"

"Yeah. I think I—no, I know I'm really bad at—that—I'm not autistic though—"

(Si-yeon can be heard cackling from the living room.)

("Sometimes I wonder if you even listen to yourself, hyung.")