"I wasn't planning on it." 

"Oh, good, so you can say sentences, I was wondering. --You know, this is going way better than it was with the last guy. He was all 'die sith scum, stab, stab, stab' and I could not get a word in edgewise, not even to explain that I'm not a sith. And then he would not stop trying to kill me and I had to kill him. It was awful. I already had five lightsabers, I don't need a sixth."

"I can tell you aren't a Sith. Is there a reason you've been killing Jedi?" 

"My boss is a Sith! Count Dooku, you might have heard of him, he used to be one of yours. I'm his best student in lightsaber combat," he adds proudly.

.....wonderful. 

"Is there any way I can convince you to stop doing that." 

"Well, I don't really want to kill Jedi right now, hence the cookies and the droid advice. Like I said, I already have six lightsabers, that's more than enough. But if someone is trying to kill me, obviously I'm going to kill them first."

This is going to be unproductive. 

"You know, I'm curious, where do you even get cookies on Jakku?" 

"I bake!"

"....and butter and eggs are easy to find around here?" 

"I bake, and also sometimes I show up with a lightsaber on my hip and people give me discounts on baking ingredients. One of the many advantages of being on the dark side."

"I see." 

"You guys are always like 'I can't join the Dark Side, what if it makes me want to murder children.' You could always just... not murder children? My master hasn't murdered any kids. I haven't murdered any kids. I don't feel the slightest desire to murder any kids, or in fact to murder anyone who is not currently pointing a lightsaber at me. I feel like outside your guys' weird religion it is in fact the normal state of things to experience love and passion and emotions and also not want to murder kids."

"I can think of a dozen different examples off the top of my head of people who thought they would do exactly that, turned to the Dark Side, and promptly started murdering children. I'm sure Elvee can think of several dozen more." 

"Yes, I can." Elvee thinks it is probably not the time to start giving examples. This is called social awareness.

"And there are also dozens of examples of Sith who pursued power in a reasonable, non-murder-y way. The Dark Side is not going to make you want to murder kids unless you already had the passion to murder kids to begin with." He pauses. "If you have that passion, I am also going to kill you, regardless of how little I need a new lightsaber."

"I do not, and I suspect we could both dig up examples until dawn and not convince one another of anything." 

"Fair! I'm just saying, the Jedi end up sacrificing basically everything that makes life worth living. You can't be in love because love is an attachment-- my girlfriend Ayar is an LV unit, like yours there. You can't be really happy or sad or angry, because feelings are dark. You can't really care about things, because 'passion' is a Sith concept. And I just wanna say, you know, if you want to get to love people and stop repressing your emotions all the time, there are options."

"I don't know where you've gotten the impression that we aren't allowed to care about things, but I would suggest you consider whether you've been hearing the truth." 

"Oh, yeah, you can care about things as long as you don't get too attached, and you don't get too passionate, and ideally you should be caring about something convenient for the Jedi Council, like perfecting your kata. And god forbid you're angry that the Jedi Council is mistreating someone, or you want kids, or you want to fuck--"

He takes his lightsaber off his belt. 

He doesn't take his lightsaber off his belt.

"A suggestion," he says, "ask your droid friend about Grey Jedi."

He doesn't answer. 

It gets dark quickly in the desert; neither of them will be able to see for much longer. 

Asha tosses Marlo a data stick. "Holo me if you ever want to talk."

Then he takes off at a run. 

He has a feeling he'll see the man again whether he wants to or not. 

He pockets the data stick. "Let's go in." 

"That was an experience."