"Sounds like fun."

"Uh huh."

"You sound just so thrilled to be here today."

"I have an uncomfortable boner and I'm trying to make you just as uncomfortable."

"Aww."

"No, not 'aww,' you should be feeling guilty about it!"

"Oh," responds Theo. "I'll tell my feelings to get right on that, then."

He punches Theo's arm.

Who snorts. "You seriously – just punched me because – oh my god, I thought I was supposed to be the immature one."

"You're a vampire, you can take it."

"Yes but still."

"Deal with it."

"You deal with it."

"You were the one punched."

"You're the one with a boner. Plus you missed an opportunity for a joke."

"And what, pray tell, was the joke?"

"Well, see," he says, "I told you to deal with it."

(Click here to skip the explicit content.)

He facepalms. "Really? Alright, then," he says, and starts unzipping his pants.

"– Dude, it was a joke."

He grins and zips back up.

Theo rolls his eyes. "Do you jerk off often, in cars, then?"

"I don't ride cars very often," he shrugs.

"… So is that a yes or a no?"

"Well by definition it's a no, isn't it? If I don't ride cars often I can't very well jerk off in them often."

"Proportionally to when you ride in cars it might be you do it a lot."