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Salmons and Carmines in Azurite
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"Sounds like fun."

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"Uh huh."

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"You sound just so thrilled to be here today."

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"I have an uncomfortable boner and I'm trying to make you just as uncomfortable."

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"Aww."

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"No, not 'aww,' you should be feeling guilty about it!"

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"Oh," responds Theo. "I'll tell my feelings to get right on that, then."

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He punches Theo's arm.

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Who snorts. "You seriously – just punched me because – oh my god, I thought I was supposed to be the immature one."

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"You're a vampire, you can take it."

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"Yes but still."

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"Deal with it."

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"You deal with it."

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"You were the one punched."

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"You're the one with a boner. Plus you missed an opportunity for a joke."

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"And what, pray tell, was the joke?"

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"Well, see," he says, "I told you to deal with it."

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(Click here to skip the explicit content.)

He facepalms. "Really? Alright, then," he says, and starts unzipping his pants.

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"– Dude, it was a joke."

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He grins and zips back up.

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Theo rolls his eyes. "Do you jerk off often, in cars, then?"

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"I don't ride cars very often," he shrugs.

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"… So is that a yes or a no?"

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"Well by definition it's a no, isn't it? If I don't ride cars often I can't very well jerk off in them often."

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"Proportionally to when you ride in cars it might be you do it a lot."

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