SHe'd almost looked forward to the nonsexual intimacy stage, when he'd thought he'd be able to do it with Asher.
He does his best to hide how miserable he is.
She folds herself up as small as she can and puts her head on Lev's shoulder. She's not crying but the noise she makes is definitely a sob.
After a couple of minutes she pulls away and says "I actually should take a shower, I'm kinda gross right now," and does that.
The rest of the gunk in her hair comes out when she washes it, most of the dried blood that isn't actually part of a scab comes off, there are parts of her back she can't reach but the water helps. She doesn't feel clean, exactly, when she's done, but she's not sure anything would manage that.
"I love you but I think the last thing I want right now is to have someone else in the shower with me." She dries off some and then puts on clean clothes and then cuddles up to Lev again.
"I love you."
Her voice is very small.
"...that was the first time I've ever done anything Christine would call straight."
"I don't know. Fucked up about it. I mean, clearly you are fucked up about it, but like."
"...yeah. I hope so too, whatever not being fucked up about it would even mean. I think it'll be a while before being choked sounds fun again."
"Can we leave the trying to convince me that being straight is good actually for later?"
"And Harry's a guy the same way I'm a girl. So."
She's just going to bury her face in Lev's shoulder and keep it there.
She's curled up very small in his lap. "Of all the people involved in this clusterfuck you are the one with the least to apologize for."
She nods.
"...I know I can't get out of it but I'm really not looking forward to seeing the girls again."