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She folds herself up as small as she can and puts her head on Lev's shoulder. She's not crying but the noise she makes is definitely a sob. 

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Then Lev will hold her for as long as she wants.

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After a couple of minutes she pulls away and says "I actually should take a shower, I'm kinda gross right now," and does that. 

The rest of the gunk in her hair comes out when she washes it, most of the dried blood that isn't actually part of a scab comes off, there are parts of her back she can't reach but the water helps. She doesn't feel clean, exactly, when she's done, but she's not sure anything would manage that. 

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"Do you want me to try to help with your back?"

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"I love you but I think the last thing I want right now is to have someone else in the shower with me." She dries off some and then puts on clean clothes and then cuddles up to Lev again. 

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He holds her. 

"Is there something I could do to... help."

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"You're here. You're holding me. You care. You are helping." 

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"All right." He keeps holding her. "I love you."

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"I love you." 

Her voice is very small.

"...that was the first time I've ever done anything Christine would call straight." 

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"...That's. Not a great first experience."

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"No," she agrees, "it isn't. Fuck." 

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"I'm sorry. I hope you're not-- "

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"That I'm not what." 

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"I don't know. Fucked up about it. I mean, clearly you are fucked up about it, but like."

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"...yeah. I hope so too, whatever not being fucked up about it would even mean. I think it'll be a while before being choked sounds fun again." 

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"It's not... really straight? Because you're both girls."

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"Can we leave the trying to convince me that being straight is good actually for later?" 

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"Sorry. Yeah. I. Sorry."

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"And Harry's a guy the same way I'm a girl. So." 

She's just going to bury her face in Lev's shoulder and keep it there. 

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He holds her. "I'm sorry."

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She's curled up very small in his lap. "Of all the people involved in this clusterfuck you are the one with the least to apologize for." 

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"That wasn't what I meant. Or. Not all of it, anyway."

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A soft questioning sound. She looks up from his shoulder. 

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"I meant that. I don't like it when you're hurt. That's all."

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She nods. 

"...I know I can't get out of it but I'm really not looking forward to seeing the girls again." 

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