Fairy Godmother concludes the portal-making spell with a last "bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!"
—a tall and rather bewildered young man falls out of the air and lands in a heap on the ground.
"That... doesn't look like a portal."
Ben kneels by the bewildered man and taps his shoulder. "Are you all right? Do you need help?"
"What the fuck just happened???"
"We were trying to open a portal to another world and it looks like we accidentally summoned a person from another world instead. --Hi, I'm Ben."
"I'm... Tazalkyran. Why...???"
"I'm very sorry about this and we'll get you sent back as soon as we can."
"I don't... actually care very much about that," he says.
"Or we can figure out how to get you set up in Auradon. --This is Asher son of Tiana, he's my friend, and this is Fairy Godmother, who did the magic that brought you here in the first place."
"Fairy... Godmother?? What kind of magic is that?"
"Why, it's fairy magic, dear," Fairy Godmother says helpfully.
"That's... not..." He spends a moment struggling to express himself, then gives up and shakes his head.
"It's probably really confusing! Have you been to other worlds before?"
"Until just now I didn't know there were any."
"I'm worried I'm not handling this explanation as well as I could because I've never met someone who didn't know other worlds existed before!"
(Asher is walking on his hands in the background.)
"I think I'm getting the basic idea. You're from somewhere with... 'fairies'...? instead of heartwrights, and fairies can make portals to other worlds, and you did that, except you fucked it up, and instead of a portal to another world you got me."
"It's true! We in fact have fairies instead of heartwrights. I don't know what a heartwright is." Ben seems to remember that Fairy Godmother exists. "Fairy Godmother, can you go try to figure out why the spell failed?"
Ben asks it like it's a question, but it's clearly an order, even though Fairy Godmother is visibly three times his age.
That's... that's something.
Tazalkyran doesn't comment. Instead he tries, badly, to explain heartwrights.
"They're, uh... I bet if you don't have heartwrights you won't know what I mean by a Heartland... there's twelve of them and they're sort of... ways that a place can be? Like, the idea of a place? And if you belong to one of them, you're a heartwright, whatever kind that Heartland has. Like the Desert makes you a Sunstrider and the River makes you a Rainseeker and the Castle makes you a Stonewarden. And every kind does different magic."
"Of course I will, Your Majesty," Fairy Godmother says, and leaves.
Ben does not respond at all to what Fairy Godmother said.
"That is not a thing we have at all!" Ben says. "Fairies are a kind of nonhuman, and fairies or people who are descended from them have powerful magic that is not themed around places at all. If anything it's themed around bad poetry."
"Horrible poetry. Genuinely, mind-bogglingly terrible poetry," Asher says, upside down.
"Why. I mean, you probably don't know why. But. Why."
"If there's one thing I've learned in the past seventeen years it's that fairies can never offer a satisfactory explanation for anything."
He snorts, mildly amused.