And—

—a tall and rather bewildered young man falls out of the air and lands in a heap on the ground.

"That... doesn't look like a portal."

Ben kneels by the bewildered man and taps his shoulder. "Are you all right? Do you need help?"

"What the fuck just happened???"

"We were trying to open a portal to another world and it looks like we accidentally summoned a person from another world instead. --Hi, I'm Ben."

"I'm... Tazalkyran. Why...???"

"I'm very sorry about this and we'll get you sent back as soon as we can."

"I don't... actually care very much about that," he says.

"Or we can figure out how to get you set up in Auradon. --This is Asher son of Tiana, he's my friend, and this is Fairy Godmother, who did the magic that brought you here in the first place."

"Fairy... Godmother?? What kind of magic is that?"

"Why, it's fairy magic, dear," Fairy Godmother says helpfully.

"That's... not..." He spends a moment struggling to express himself, then gives up and shakes his head.

"It's probably really confusing! Have you been to other worlds before?"

"Until just now I didn't know there were any."

"I'm worried I'm not handling this explanation as well as I could because I've never met someone who didn't know other worlds existed before!"

(Asher is walking on his hands in the background.)

"I think I'm getting the basic idea. You're from somewhere with... 'fairies'...? instead of heartwrights, and fairies can make portals to other worlds, and you did that, except you fucked it up, and instead of a portal to another world you got me."

"It's true! We in fact have fairies instead of heartwrights. I don't know what a heartwright is." Ben seems to remember that Fairy Godmother exists. "Fairy Godmother, can you go try to figure out why the spell failed?" 

Ben asks it like it's a question, but it's clearly an order, even though Fairy Godmother is visibly three times his age.

That's... that's something.

Tazalkyran doesn't comment. Instead he tries, badly, to explain heartwrights.

"They're, uh... I bet if you don't have heartwrights you won't know what I mean by a Heartland... there's twelve of them and they're sort of... ways that a place can be? Like, the idea of a place? And if you belong to one of them, you're a heartwright, whatever kind that Heartland has. Like the Desert makes you a Sunstrider and the River makes you a Rainseeker and the Castle makes you a Stonewarden. And every kind does different magic."

"Of course I will, Your Majesty," Fairy Godmother says, and leaves.

Ben does not respond at all to what Fairy Godmother said. 

"That is not a thing we have at all!" Ben says. "Fairies are a kind of nonhuman, and fairies or people who are descended from them have powerful magic that is not themed around places at all. If anything it's themed around bad poetry."

"Horrible poetry. Genuinely, mind-bogglingly terrible poetry," Asher says, upside down.

"Why. I mean, you probably don't know why. But. Why."

"If there's one thing I've learned in the past seventeen years it's that fairies can never offer a satisfactory explanation for anything."

He snorts, mildly amused.

"Are you a heartwright?"

He shakes his head. "Nah. I only barely know how it works."

"Auradon-- that's the world you're on-- actually has a lot of kinds of sentient nonhuman. Most animals that live around humans are sentient, although they can't communicate without magic. There are genies, mermaids, gods, ancestor spirits--"

"Loa," Asher adds.

"Loa don't count, they're from another world to begin with. --But yes, if you count other worlds we're in contact with, there are even more kinds."

"Sounds complicated. Where I'm from its just humans, far as I know."

"Yes. So. Be nice to animals, they're people even though they can't talk. Most other nonhumans are very powerful and very easily offended, so try to avoid them. Fairy Godmother is not that easily offended, fortunately--"

Asher snorts.

"She hasn't turned you into a frog, has she?"

"I don't think you should assume-- Heartwrightland, or whatever his world is called-- has all the same taboos ours does. Neverland and Wonderland and the Isle don't."

"I don't think Wonderland counts."

"Okay, yeah, Wonderland doesn't count."

For some reason Asher punctuates this observation with a backflip.

"...fairies turn people into frogs when they're offended? And—which animals are people, exactly? And why doesn't Wonderland count?"

"Animals become people if they spend time around dense concentrations of humans or mermaids, or around a fairy who doesn't move around much-- the ambient magic turns them into people. As a rule, fairies take etiquette very very seriously and punish rudeness harshly, and the things they consider to be rude are not always obvious. Wonderland-- Asher do you want to explain Wonderland--"

"Wonderland's citizens include a Mad Hatter, a March Hare, and a Dormouse who celebrate their unbirthdays rather than their birthdays. They're having an eternal tea party at a very large circular table, and they never run out of food because every time they're running low they just move three seats along the table.

"That... doesn't sound like a real thing. I mean, it sounds even less like a real thing than all the other crazy nonsense that's happened today."

"Yeah, that's why Wonderland doesn't count."

"Suppose that makes sense," he acknowledges.

"So. Not assuming you're a normal Auradonian-- Auradon has a government. Ben is in charge of it. You're from another world and Ben likes you, so if you break the law by accident most of the time he will just make it disappear--"

"--I do not--"

"Yes, you do. But you shouldn't touch people unless they say it's okay, you definitely shouldn't fight anybody or kill them, you shouldn't take things unless you know it is an okay thing for you to take-- do you need an explanation of the concept of money--"

"...We have money where I'm from. We have... laws, too. Though not one against touching people. I don't think I'll have trouble, though."

"It's not that those are actually the rules, it's that I was-- trying to come up with the simplest rule that would definitely not get you to commit any felonies, assuming that you have never heard of the concept of governments? You can also take things if they are, like, leaves. --Neither Neverland nor the Isle has a government."

"All the kingdoms of Auradon had pretty similar laws before they were united, so probably just follow the laws of your home kingdom and I will clear it up if it turns out that actually kidnapping is not illegal in your home kingdom or something."

"Kidnapping is illegal in my home kingdom," he assures them. "Anyway, I couldn't do a lot of those things even if I wanted to. I'm under a curse. Do you have those here?"

"Yes. My dad used to be under a curse. He refused to let an old lady stay at his castle and she turned out to be a fairy and turned him into a horrible furry monster."

"Both of my parents were under a curse too! They were turned into frogs for complicated non-fairy-related reasons."

"...Curses where I'm from don't... turn people into things. Mostly they change what you can do. Sometimes what you can feel or think. Mine does all three."

"That's not great! Do you know what you need to do to break it?"

"Not really."

Asher and Ben have a conversation via facial expressions. 

Eventually Asher says, "There might be a way to break it but that should probably wait until I've finished Auradon 101. Second thing-- magic is illegal unless you have permission from Ben to use it. You're not a magic user so it's unlikely to come up, but it's one of the weird things about us."

Baffled face. "What??? How do you—? Maybe it's different here, but heartwrights do a lot of important stuff at home."

"Like what?"

"Healing people, building things..."

"Building things was typically done by humans without magic even before magic was illegal. Humans in Auradon run on physics, so expert humans called 'doctors' can treat them with medicine even without magic."

"...'Run on physics'?"

"It's shorthand. Some things have a lot of innate regularities, so the same things happen every time you do them? Other things don't. Like-- a rock runs completely on physics, no matter what happens if you kick a rock with the same force in the same direction it will go the same way. Wonderland doesn't have any physics, which is why the Mad Hatter's Tea Party doesn't run out of table."

"...okay. I still think healers are probably better but maybe doctors are much better at fixing people than it sounds like."

"Third thing-- Ben, shoo, I'm going to admit to doing crimes--"

Ben grins and shoos. 

"It is very important in Auradon that everyone believes you are only having sex inside a monogamous marriage with a person you love, who is of the opposite gender."

"?????"

"I totally agree! --It's not as bad as it sounds like, you can get away with tons of shit because no one is even thinking about the possibility that you might."

"I... guess I will keep that in mind."

"Are you from a world that has the concept of 'consent'?"

"—I'm—not sure what you mean?"

"Great. So, uh, if people don't want you to kiss them or have sex with them, don't kiss them or have sex with them. If they do want you to kiss them or have sex with them but they say 'no, I don't want that,' don't kiss them or have sex with them. If you break this rule you will be blacklisted from every underground queer community except the one with Harry Hook in it."

(Tazalkyran will get a sense that "queer" is an odd term from Asher's particular dialect, perhaps because the main Auradonian language has no need for it at all.)

He seems to be trying to say something but having considerable trouble. He opens and closes his mouth and makes an assortment of confused frowns. Finally he gives up.

"Curse thing?"

He nods.

"Can you talk about what the curse does?"

"...There's things I can't do, or think, or feel. It's hard to explain the details because some of them I can't think about in the right way to talk about them. It was—I did something. A crime. Several crimes, I guess. And it upset a Stonestrider—those are the ones that do curses—and she did this, and now I can't do any of the things that upset her, or any of a lot of other things, or want to do them, or try to do them, or decide to do them, or think of myself as the sort of thing that could do them. And I can't get angry. Or have sex. I guess I could have sex but it wouldn't be much fun."

"...That's horrifying."

"Yeah," he agrees, with a not particularly happy smile.

"...I don't know how our magic systems will interact but it is at least plausible that true love magic would break it."

"Love magic?"

"True love is... basically the most powerful magical thing. If you genuinely love someone, and you're near someone, and you desperately desperately want something to happen to protect them, it will happen. --It also has to be monogamous and heterosexual, sorry about that."

"That sounds, uh, totally useless to me? Unless I'm misunderstanding something."

"Well, if someone monogamously and heterosexually loves you and is physically near you and really really wants the curse to break, it'll break."

"That... sounds unlikely to happen."

Shrug. "I just met you. I have no idea how likely it is to happen. --We can try to get Fairy Godmother to bibbidi-bobbidi-boo you if you want."

"Given what happened the only other time I've seen her do magic..."

"She's usually more reliable than that!"

"Still. —I just don't think 'here, we found an otherworldly vagabond who's missing some emotions and can't explain which ones, do you want to date him so he can get them back' is going to excite very many girls. Maybe your girls are different."

"Oh, you'll be terribly brooding and mysterious and then they get to break a curse, that's very exciting."

"Really?"

"Having a dramatic and mysterious and slightly bad reputation is how I get all my dates."

"What slightly bad thing did you do?"

"Well, the reason I have my bad reputation is that I've fucked men, and women who were married to someone else at the time, and the occasional virgin."

"Sounds like you lead an exciting life."

"I try! --The first two are crimes, although Ben is ratcheting back enforcement, and the third is socially disreputable."

"If my curse ever breaks I'll make sure to ask you where to find the—what was it, 'underground queers'?—before I try to fuck any men."

"I was going to offer to kiss you to see if that helped your curse but I think maybe curses work differently in your world."

"Kissing generally does not do anything for curses," he agrees.

"In our world, true love always breaks curses and curses have to have a way to break them, so lots of people use true love or something related to it-- a kiss or a marriage proposal or something-- as the thing that breaks the curse."

"Makes sense. In my world... well, the person who set the curse can always lift it, but that doesn't help me at all."

"That's true in our world too but there's a reason I didn't put it as one of the cursebreaking methods."

"Yeah."

"I'm going to call King Ben back in unless you have any more questions about secret queers."

"I think I'm done with the secret queers for now."

Asher goes out and Ben returns. "Hello! Caught up on Auradon 101, or do you have more questions?"

"I've got the basics, I think."

"I'm going to want to ask you about your home world, but that can wait-- we should probably get you set up with a place to stay."

"Sure."

"Are you going to give him a room in Auradon Prep?"

"Uh, yes."

"Why do you always think that is a good idea. --Tazalkyran, would you rather have a dorm room at a boarding school for the children of nobility, or a room in Ben's palace, or a hotel room, or something else?"

"Uh... I don't know? Why is boarding school the first place you think to put me???"

"Because we're both in high school."

"I'm eighteen, I haven't been in school for two years. ...Why is a schoolboy running a kingdom."

"Because his dad sucked at it."

"I was going to say 'because my dad retired to go on a cruise.'"

"Like I said."

"..."

"Through no fault of Ben's dad's own this turned out not to be a horrible decision."

"You seem all right so far, not that I'd know much about what makes a good king."

"I'm sure there are lots of things I can improve!"

"He banned slavery and is working on getting rid of the giant prison island."

He makes what Asher might recognize from last time as the curseblocked face, and once again gives up after a few seconds of trying to say something.

"Sometimes he can't talk about things because of the curse," Asher says to Ben. 

"And obviously he can't talk about what he can't talk about. Fun."

"Sometimes I can think my way around it but I'm not... very good at thinking my way around things."

"That's a mindscrew of a curse. We'll have to see what we can do about it."

"Did you just say mindscrew."

"Shut up."

"...?"

"He doesn't swear," Asher explains, "because he is a goody-two-shoes."

Somehow the first response that comes to mind is, "What kind of a king doesn't say fuck???"

"One from Auradon."

(He's amused.)

"Your country sure is something."

"I don't have very many functionally run countries to compare it to!"

"Saying fuck will probably not make you any better at running a country, anyway. It's just weird." He sounds a little affectionate there.

"If I started saying fuck what would Asher tease me about?"

"Good point."

Definitely a little affectionate. And his smile may be small but it's the happiest he's looked since he got here.

"We do have to figure out a place for you to stay."

He shrugs. "I don't... think I care very much? Wherever's convenient."

Then Ben will take him to a spare bedroom in a corner of his castle and not Auradon Prep. 

On the way there, Tazalkyran might notice that everything seems like a bizarre mix of medieval and modern: there are castles and armor, but people are wearing blue jeans and talking on cell phones. 

Yeah, he definitely notices that. The medieval elements are sort of half-familiar—stylistically different from what he's used to, but broadly recognizable in form and function—but he's never seen a cellphone before and blue jeans are pretty strange too.

The apartment Ben leads him to has such unfamiliar things as a television set, a video game system, a refrigerator, a stove, a microwave, and a laptop computer. 

"???"

"Sorry to run," Ben says, "but I'm afraid I have to go talk to the Chinese about some complicated trade stuff. I'll be back soon and Asher can answer any of your questions."

"—sure, of course—"

"What's the 'what the fuck' expression about?"

He... gestures helplessly at all of the things.

"You don't know what any of this shit is?"

Slight smile. "Yeah, that."

Refrigerators: keep food cold! Microwaves and stoves: heat food up! Televisions: show you tiny people acting out plays! Video game systems: let you control the tiny people! Laptops: contain literally all information! Beds: are for sleeping!

—he laughs softly at that last one. "I have seen a bed before."

"I don't know when beds were invented!"

He flops on the bed.

Tazalkyran sits down next to him.

"...I like you," he says, slowly, like he's struggling to form the words. "You're... fun."

"I like you! I'd offer to make out but uh."

Small, sad smile. "Yeah. ...I'm... probably a worse person, when I have all my... self. But I think he'd—I think I'd still like you."

"I'm not exactly a great person myself."

"You seem all right so far. I guess I wouldn't know, though. I'm not even sure I know what a good person is supposed to be like, I just know I'm not one."

"Ben is a good person. He thinks the best of everyone. He's forgiving. It's impossible to make him mad. He really genuinely cares about everybody in his kingdom. People think it's an act but it's not, he really is just like that. But-- there are parts of being a king you can't do if you're a good person. And I take care of them for him. So he can be a good person."

"...makes sense. I think that's still... better, though. Than..." and he can't figure out a way to end that sentence that his curse will let him articulate.

Asher hugs him. 

Oh.

That's really good.

Now he's crying.

Asher gives good hugs. Just the right amount of firmness.

Asher is very very good.

He doesn't like crying. It hurts, physically and emotionally, and it never seems to do him any good, and it runs him right up against the blank spaces in his heart where rage and hatred used to be.

But it's... much less awful than usual, with Asher to lean on.

Asher makes soothing noises and rubs his back.

Sniffle. "...thanks. You're... good."

"No, I'm not. But thank you."

Words. "No, you're—a good thing. You're... better. Than not you."

Asher kisses his forehead.

"Thank you."

...!

He sniffles again and nestles close and hugs him.

Asher kisses him softly and gently on the lips.

That is also good. Asher is very good. There can be sniffly weepy cuddly kisses now.

There can be lots of sniffly weepy cuddly kisses!

He knows a kiss from a prince won't break the curse but he is still mildly surprised when it doesn't. 

Tazalkyran was not expecting any such thing and in fact is not even thinking about how much he wants to be rid of the curse for once in his life. He is mostly thinking about Asher and how warm and solid and pretty and kissable he is. Also still crying a little.

Asher is very kissable. He has had a lot of practice.

Tazalkyran has not! He has... mostly not kissed people. Done some other things, sometimes. Every time he remembers one he blanks out a little and flinches and cries harder. It does not add up to being a very good kissing partner, really.

The first time he does that Asher pulls away and rests his forehead on Tazalkyran's.

He leans into him. Maybe clings a little. Everything is very difficult and upsetting but Asher is good and warm.

Asher makes a habit of not kissing people who respond to it by flinching and crying but they can cuddle as long as Tazalkyran wants.

It turns out that cuddles are possibly the best thing in the whole entire world. Although it may be hard to tell he thinks so, because of all the crying.

"You really need a hug."

He sniffles, and makes a sort of laugh/sob noise, and nods.

"We have got to find some girl with a taste for mysterious bad boys."

Tiny sad giggle.

"Do - do girls like it when you cry on them? I've never tried."

"Some girls have a thing for fixing guys who are sad and broken!"

He sniffles and laughs and leans on him some more. "Before the curse I would've hated that, I think. Being—something broken to be fixed. But it's true, now. And I can't hate things."

"I don't think you're broken."

"Aren't I?"

"My mom spent a bunch of time as a frog and that didn't make her broken."

"Being a frog doesn't make you—yourself with half the pieces missing."

"I like the half I see and we're gonna get you the other half back."

He smiles sadly and sniffles a little and leans into him some more. "Thanks. Just so you know, I probably don't deserve it. But thanks."

"Did I tell you about the Isle of the Lost?"

"What's that?"

"Auradon has some-- bad people in it. People who committed genocide, who tried to get hundreds of thousands of people tortured for eternity, this one lady skinned people alive and wore their skins as clothes--"

...he makes a soft, amused noise, but doesn't attempt to comment.

"Ben's dad decided to put them all on an island and send them barges full of Auradon's garbage and leave them to create their own horrible rapey hellsociety. Ben is trying to figure out how to close the island and reintegrate as many people as possible into society and give the rest the best lives we can without letting them wear people's skin as clothing. We're going to get you your personality back and I think I am going to still like you."

"Yeah, that's fair," he says, with a much less hopeless smile.

"Even if it is very important to you that you be allowed to wear people's skin as clothing I'm afraid I'm not going to allow that. --I guess maybe if they said it was okay before they died of natural causes."

"I have never actually wanted to wear anyone's skin as clothing!"

"Also, if your plans involve murdering a hundred and one children in order to have a really good fur coat, I'm going to stop you."

"I don't think you have to worry about that. I—didn't really like hurting kids, even when I could hurt people."

Kiss. "I think if you're getting rid of half of people's personalities you're also a bad person, even if the person you're doing it to is bad. Just like putting people on a prison island and giving them garbage instead of food or medical supplies."

Kiss. Asher kisses are still so good. They are one of the best things.

"Yeah. I—even before, I didn't really... think about people being good or bad? It's not really a way I see the world. But... it seems important, if you're going to give me back the rest of me, you should know what he's like."

"Possibly someone who will have to go through Ben's rehabilitation program when it's set up?"

...he has to laugh, at that. "I'm not sure you want me in your rehabilitation program."

"Yes, we are trying to reserve it for the elites of society, such as that woman who tricked a sixteen-year-old girl into a contract in which she took the girl's voice 'because human men don't care if you can speak anyway.'"

Snort. "Not quite what I meant. I'm just—" but whatever thought he's having, he can't seem to complete it. He sighs and leans on Asher and hugs him.

"In your culture do children play the game 'hot or cold'?"

"—mm? Don't think so. What is it?"

"You hide an object, and when the person is getting closer to the object you say 'warm, warmer, hot, hot like Li Chen' and when they're getting farther from the object you say 'cool, cold, colder, frozen like Arendelle.'"

"...oh, that's clever."

"So if I say 'we don't want you in our rehabilitation program because there's actually no way to stop you from doing crimes other than this curse', can you say whether that's hot or cold?"

"Oh, I wish. Cold."

"Because you will fuck up the program somehow?"

"...warm...ish?"

"Because the program would fuck you up?"

Nod nod. "...that's not all of it but yeah."

"...I'm not going to let them do things to you that fuck you up."

...he smiles. "Okay."

"Ben wouldn't but-- I understand if that is not reassuring."

"Honestly I probably shouldn't be reassured by you making promises either, but... I am anyway." Snuggle.

"Do you want to play your first video game ever?"

"I only have the vaguest idea of what that is but sure."

He gets up. "Probably not Slaughter Race or Hero's Duty... Sugar Rush seems easy to explain." He selects it. "You control this bright and candy-themed person in a car. You're trying to win the race. This is the tutorial, it'll tell you how to use the controls."  

"I don't know what a car is," he points out, but he's smiling.

"The boxy thing is-- actually, that's not remotely similar to cars at all, sorry, this game is very misleading. But it's the thing your person is sitting in."

Tutorial!

He picks it up pretty quick for someone who has never before encountered video games, computers, or cars.

It's the happiest he's looked since he got here.

Then Asher can give himself a huge handicap and they can play. 

Asher is very very good at this game.

Tazalkyran has fun.

It's really, really, really good.

(He is almost, but not quite, successful at preventing himself from running into the curse while he plays. He mostly manages not to flinch or freeze up, and he entirely manages not to cry, but there's a slightly unfortunate effect where when he's losing his mind automatically turns toward the place where it used to keep its violent fantasies and then falls off a cliff and then he loses more.)

After a while, Asher says, "would it help to play a game that isn't competitive at all?"

"—Maybe? I like this one, though, when I'm not—getting distracted."

"There's one where you run errands for adorable small animals, and one where you run a farm, and one where you're just exploring a desert-- but we can keep playing this one too."

"I could try exploring a desert."

It's a one-person game, so Asher has to watch. 

The exploring the desert game is very very pretty, full of beautifully animated ruins and animals and plants. You can jump and climb to get to locations, and there are puzzles that unlock new locations. Tazalkyran probably doesn't have the cultural context to understand the plot, but it was designed to be very soothing. 

It's surprisingly nice. Not as exciting as Sugar Rush, but he likes it.

"The Desert would be my Heartland if I had one, I think," he mentions while navigating a stretch of pleasingly soft open sand.

"How do you know which Heartland would be yours?"

"It's the one that... fits. Leaf types tend to be nurturing and Rain types tend to be melancholy - I'm oversimplifying horribly - and out of the four seasons I'm definitely Sun, and I think I'm more of a Desert than a Temple or an Island."

"Four seasons?"

"Oh - every Heartland has its own month of the year, so, seasons. Leaf and Sun and Rain and Stone. Spring and summer and fall and winter, when you're not talking about magic."

"And seasons correspond to personality types?"

"Soooort of. It's not as... tidy as that makes it sound. Like, there's some people where you can tell they're a Warden but you can't tell which season, and some people where you'd expect them to be something different from what they are, and all the Heartlands have things that are just about them and not about their season or their function - function is the thing that's different between Warden and Seeker and Strider."

"I think I followed like... ten percent of that."

"Yeah, sorry. I'm not... good at explaining things."

"It's all right. You're kind of stuck here forever. There's plenty of time."

"Yeah. I can keep trying until I start making sense. But not now."

Now is for video games. What an incredible invention.

Video games are, in fact, amazing!

"Do I need to show you how the other stuff works or do you think you can figure it out for yourself?"

"I... can probably figure out the important stuff? Maybe?" He does not sound sure of this.

"...Actually, I am going to very selfishly show you how things work, because you make good faces."

...He smiles a little. "Okay."

"Okay, so we also have movies, which are sort of like plays, except they're recorded so you can watch them whenever you want. They are mostly not going to make any sense without more cultural context than you have, but if you look at the 'action movies' section you will see things that have a lot of pretty explosions and fight scenes. Or you can call me and we can watch one and I can stop it every five minutes and try to explain what's going on."

Another, wryer smile. "Do you not have anything better to do? Not that I mind. It's good when you explain stuff."

"I'm skipping tourney practice."

He smiles at Asher like he is having trouble believing someone wants to be this nice to him, which is in fact the case.

"--Oh, man, you're from like medieval times, you have no idea what tourney is."

"What's tourney?"

"--here, I'll show you a game, and we can multitask. Sports and television."

Asher turns on a game of tourney and pauses it every so often to explain what's going on. You are supposed to get the ball into the goal with the stick (NOT your hands, you are not supposed to touch it). You use the shield to block the ball. If the fire from the cannons touches you, instead of your shield or your stick, that means you're out. 

He clearly considers it a profoundly stupid game and is also very very good at it.

"This game is bizarre," Tazalkyran observes.

"I like Flynning better," he says.

Flynning appears to be like swordfighting, except that swordfighting almost never includes jumping off walls or somersaulting in midair, and Flynning involves that quite a lot.

"That looks... silly," he says. "But fun."

It manages to be enough unlike actual violence that he can actually imagine doing it, although he's pretty sure that if he tried it for longer than five minutes he'd get frustrated and freeze up.

He stands up, does a cartwheel and three backflips, and bows. He's grinning. He's holding his right hand somewhat weirdly, as if he expects to have a sword in it.

"It is!"

—He smiles, watching. A little wistfully.

"--Man, fuck mind control."

"Yeah. I'd—I would've had a lot of fun with that game, before, and I think I still could but I'd have the same problem I do with Sugar Rush."

"I don't know what the fuck kind of mind control leaves you unable to play Sugar Rush but they should have done a better fucking job."

Wryly, "In fairness I think most people with this curse could still play Sugar Rush. I just—used to get angry a lot, and now instead I get—well, you saw."

Now he gets extremely angry hugs. 

Oh.

Okay.

He doesn't cry, this time, or not very much, but he does lean into Asher and breathe deeply and hug him very tight. Extremely angry hugs turn out to be a really good thing to have.

"It's a stupid game for little kids," he says, "it's dumb that you don't get to be able to play it, it's ridiculous--"

And the curse snaps.

He makes a sound, a sharp hissing gasp, of shock and surprise—

All the rage he couldn't feel, all the frustration, the hatred, the cruelty, the violent and destructive impulses, it all breaks loose at once. He screams, a long wild awful scream of pain and primal fury, in the very first moments of which he throws Asher at a wall with berserker strength and then immediately punches the TV. Whatever crosses his path, he attempts to destroy.

Asher's had a lot of falling practice, instinctively moves so he isn't damaged-- the TV is replaceable-- what the fuck--

He presses the button in his necklace that means emergency and tries to figure out how to contain Tazalkyran.

Containing Tazalkyran proves to be a difficult and dangerous endeavour! He doesn't appear to notice trivialities like the fact that his hand is bleeding from breaking the TV screen, or the fact that Asher is a person he likes who also happens to be well equipped to beat him in a fight. He is single-mindedly intent on the physical destruction of everything in reach—but particularly things that move, such as Asher, or bleed, such as unfortunately also Asher.

That's fine-- Tazalkyran can make him bleed, he's fixable, Asher can make sure Tazalkyran only hits him in ways Fairy Godmother can fix-- all the stuff in this room is a lost cause, but Asher tries to subtly herd him away from the door, where he might traumatize some freshmen--

The curse broke, why the fuck did the curse break--

He bites Asher and beats up the furniture. Further adventures with broken glass leave him bleeding more than Asher is. He's still screaming whenever he has the breath. It's surprising how many seemingly sturdy objects a determined human with no regard for their own safety can break. (Asher might want to take care that he doesn't let Tazalkyran get a solid enough hit or a long enough hold on him to break any bones. Even if he can fix it later, it would probably impair him in his quest to keep Tazalkyran confined to the room.)

That is, in fact, doable. Asher shows a remarkable ability to be where Tazalkyran's fists and feet are not; every time Tazalkyran grabs him he winds up grabbing air. 

The refrigerator is a goner, though.

"Teleport!" he shouts. "Skull Island! Now!"

The relentless whirlwhind of violence shows no sign of understanding these words.

Whether or not the relentless whirlpool of violence understands these words, he will still find himself suddenly in the middle of a rainforest.

He immediately punches a tree.

The tree suffers, but so does his hand. His hands are not having a great day today.

A few minutes later he will be joined by a still-bleeding Asher.

Bleeding things are more favourable targets than trees!

He has gotten worse at hitting things since Asher last saw him, though, on account of the hands. Being grabbed is no longer so much a concern. There are bones showing and some of them are in clearly separated pieces.

That's not great. 

"Are you okay?" Asher says, dodging his attempts to hit him. "Can you understand me?"

He doesn't give any sign of understanding him, nor for that matter of being okay.

He figures.

Setting aside the fact that he can see his friend's bones, and that he has no idea how the curse broke, and he doesn't know when his friend is going to stop being a rage monster, this is actually pretty fun. 

There's also the continued horrible furious screaming, that's also a thing.

The continued horrible furious screaming is also not great. 

Why the fuck did the curse break, he was hugging Tazalkyran and thinking about how much he wanted him to be able to play Sugar Rush and feeling a warm glowy affectionate--

oh. 

oh fuck.

"I love you," he shouts, in case it helps.

It's hard to say whether he pauses when he hears that. It's hard to say whether he even understands the words. He does switch his attention from this splintered and somewhat bloodstained tree back to Asher, but that could just be because Asher made a noise.

It is looking increasingly likely that he's just going to keep fighting every solid object in sight until he collapses in utter exhaustion.

Fortunately for the trees and also for Tazalkyran, utter exhaustion isn't that far off. After only another couple of minutes, he wavers, staggers, then drops like a puppet with its strings cut.

Showing a reckless disregard for his personal safety, Asher gets down and hugs him.

He is debatably conscious and not super capable of moving but he does seem to shift toward Asher a tiny tiny bit.

That's okay, Asher can keep holding him whether he is conscious or not.

That is good. Asher is very helpful. Best buddy a rage monster could ask for.

It's another twenty minutes or so before he stirs and blinks awake.

"O...w...?" he says hazily.

"Your curse broke. Sorry about your hands."

"Could've been worse."

He hugs Asher. The movement makes him hiss with pain but it feels very important to hug Asher anyway.

"Sorry I... tried to murder you. And... all my furniture. And... several trees...? At least you can be confident it wasn't personal."

"Are you going to do that again? I can't convince Fairy Godmother to heal you if you might wind up turning into a ragemonster once she's done."

"I don't think so. It's..." He tries to move again, winces, subsides. "It was like... all the thoughts I couldn't have, all at once, piling up until I just wanted to kill everything in sight. It's not something that's going to happen again unless I get cursed again. —The crime that got me cursed was rape and torture and murder, I tried to tell you before but I couldn't say it."

"That puts me in a very awkward position because of how I broke your curse."

"How did you break my curse? I'm... sort of hazy on everything that's happened since then, but as far as I can remember you were hugging me and I was thinking about how much I appreciated you hugging me. And then I just exploded."

"Best as I can figure, I was misinformed about whether the true love required to break curses has to be heterosexual."

"...oh."

He blinks, processing.

Then he—

—smiles, utterly radiant—

—and then falters, a little, because maybe Asher would rather not love him, now that he knows.

"You have such a nice smile."

...he brightens again, though not quite as much as before. "Thanks."

"I love you and if you rape someone again I'm going to disembowel you. Does that sound fair?"

He laughs, snuggling closer. "Yeah. Yeah, it does."

"Personally," he clarifies, "because I love you."

"I'm—"

He struggles with words again for a moment—but this time he can just find the right ones and then say them. Nothing stands in his way. His mind is his own.

"I love you too."

Asher kisses him.

He kisses back, giggle-crying, recklessly enthusiastic despite the fact that every time he tries to move his hands he regrets this decision immediately.

"Should we take you to Fairy Godmother?"

"Yeah that's probably a good plan."

He pulls out his phone and texts Fairy Godmother. 

"Unfortunately, Fairy Godmother is going to think a teleport back is irresponsible use of magic, so you're going to get to learn about another exciting piece of technology. Helicopters!" 

"Why is a teleport back...? Is magic really hard to do or something?"

"The short answer is 'King Beast is dumb' and the long answer is basically that but I elaborate and there's more swearing."

He giggles and kisses Asher on the cheek. "I like it when you get passionate about things."

"You're also probably going to find out about opiates, and I am very much looking forward to what you're like when you're high off your ass."

Giggle. "What's an opiate?"

"You'll find out in"-- he checks his phone-- "ten minutes. --This is a phone, it lets you talk to people from far away and also play stupid games and, like, get people to bring you food or drive you places."

"...Why is that a set of things that one thing does?"

"So there's a thing called a computer-- do you want me to explain computers or do you want me to make out with you?"

"I want you to make out with me. Unless the fact that I keep trying to use my hands like an idiot is going to make them harder to fix, in which case you'd better distract me instead."

"The king's best friend and closest adviser loves you. Even if you somehow managed to hurt yourself badly enough that Fairy Godmother couldn't fix it, you'd just have to be high off your ass for a day or two while we found a genie." He ponders this. "Try not to die, it's hard to fix dead."

"I'll do my best."

He kisses him. Inadvisable attempts to use his hands may be involved.

Both kissing and inadvisable attempts to use his hands are very fun.

Asher may attempt some advisable use of his hands.

Asher is so good. Everything about Asher is very good. What a wonderful thing it is that Asher exists and is kissing him.

He keeps trying to move his hands and hissing briefly with pain but not caring enough to stop.

"When you're healed," Asher says, "you're not leaving my bed for a week."

"A week, he says—" Kiss. "As though a week would be enough—"

"At some point, I have to go to class-- well, no, I don't. But at some point I have to run the country."

"Then you'd better be able to run the country while I'm sucking your dick."

"You're going to be so distracting."

He beams.

There's an unfamiliar loud buzzing sound. 

"Helicopter's here," Asher says, "act straight."

He sighs, and nuzzles Asher a little, and then leans on him like someone who is merely taking shelter in the arms of the best friend he's ever had and does not also want to fuck him senseless.

And a very strange flying metal object lands. A nurse rushes out with a stretcher, transfers Tazalkyran to the stretcher, says "this will pinch a bit," and sticks a needle into his arm.

Presumably this is expected or Asher would be defending him? This world is so weird sometimes.

Asher waves off the nurse's attempt to deal with his wounds and says, "your hands should stop hurting really soon."

"Oh good."

He is maybe gazing adoringly up at Asher. Adoring gazes can be platonic, right? Right?

Adoring gazes can definitely be platonic.

"You'll have to leave us," he says to the nurse, "state secrets."

Ooh is the state secret going to be makeouts. He hopes the state secret is makeouts. Also, Asher has the BEST FACE. Look at his face. It is so good. The best softest prettiest face.

Well, when they get into the helicopter and the nurse has grumpily left for the pilot's cabin, the state secrets can totally be makeouts.

Best state secrets ever!!!

"Painkillers kicked in yet?"

"Maybe? I like your face," he says dreamily. "You have... a very good face."

"You're cute. Don't touch me, you'll hurt your hands."

"But you're so touchable!"

He touches Asher with his face instead. Smoosh, nuzzle.

"You are unbearably cute."

Asher pets his hair.

"Mmmmmthat's good. You're good." Further snuzzling. "Good face. Good hands. Good smile. Good."

"I'm glad I sent the nurse away," Asher says, "so I don't have to try to convince you to be subtle."

"I am not very subtle, as a person." Nuzzle. "Used to get me in trouble with my parents. I hated it when they covered up my crimes, though. Lying itches."

"I'm sorry about how much lying you're going to have to do."

"'S not your fault. I'm gonna suck at it though." He almost has another thought but then instead of thinking he nuzzles Asher again, which is much more fun.

Relationship discussions should probably wait! Kissing now.

!!!Kissing!!!

Kissing Taz is just way more fun than any kissing has ever been before.

The same is true of Asher. Perhaps they have discovered the objectively best kisses possible.

Asher suspects it might be the True Love thing.

"When your hands are healed I'm going to fuck you senseless."

"Mmmm are you sure we have to wait until my hands are healed? You're right here." Kiss. "And all pretty and kissable and warm and good and..." He may have slightly forgotten where he was going with this.

"Mm," kiss, "I could blow you," kiss, "but you have to keep your hands still."

"Mmmmm okaaaaay."

Asher undoes his pants and takes him into his mouth.

He's very good at this.

Oh wow he is.

Is he really sure that Tazalkyran shouldn't be moving his hands, because there are a lot of things that Tazalkyran wants to do with his hands right now. And he is being very thoroughly distracted from his resolution to keep them still. And he is on all these opiates so it doesn't even hurt. What if he just... petted him a little bit... because of how good he is. What if that.

(He moves his arm. He is not super coordinated right now so Asher has plenty of time to notice and stop him.)

Asher does notice, pins down his wrists above the part where his hands are injured, and goes back to blowing him. 

(Guess who doesn't have a gag reflex? It's Asher.)

Asher is very good and why can't Tazalkyran pet him, what has gone terribly wrong in the universe such that Tazalkyran can't pet him, oh right his hands are broken, that's a reason, wow Asher is very good.

He comes, moaning breathlessly. It's probably a good thing that he's naturally a little on the quiet side because he sure does not have the presence of mind to tone it down.

It's also good that no one has any idea two men can have sex, so as long as they put one entire effort into being discreet no one will notice. 

He swallows and sits up and says, "I love you."

"I love you toooo," he sighs. "Mmmm. You're so pretty. And you have the best face. And the best smile. And you're good. You're just... very good. I wanna hurt you but I want you to like it. Cause you're good."

"Hurt like biting or hurt like 'I need to find someone who does illegal magic to heal me'?"

"Mmmmm." Dreamy smile. "Both?"

"We can do both."

"Good!!!!!!"

"Only if you smile like that at me about it though."

"I will smile like this about it so much!!!"

And the helicopter lands.