somehow a bunch of copies of this private petition to the queen made it into the cafés? weird
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To Her Majesty Catherine Marianne Euphemia Aspexia de Litran, Queen of Cheliax, Protector of Sargava and Isger, Defender of Civilization, & c.

I know that You are very busy with Your work defending your subjects, but I write to you with a matter of great importance not only for our lives but for our very souls. Your Majesty has wisely banned the many Infernal gods which seek to drag men's souls to the Lower Planes, but I fear that this is not sufficient to preserve the souls of your subjects.

It is widely acknowledged that warfare is a great Evil, and damns many who participate in it. It is rightly condemned by the churches of Good, and even Iomedae Herself taught Her followers that it was among the most tragic of human endeavors. I have heard it said that in Cheliax the army is scarcely better than common bandits, but even in those countries untainted by Infernal rule it is not uncommon for armies to carry out a multitude of Evils far too numerous to list here.

I therefore entreat Your Majesty to outlaw the faith of Gorum, whose pernicious influence inflames the warlike passions of your subjects. It is true that Gorum is a Neutral god, and I do not wish here to equate him with those gods of Hell which have rightly been outlawed, but His work nevertheless turns the courage of men towards Evil. I have heard also that many who once served Moloch have replaced Him with Gorum within their hearts, combining the worst aspects of Gorum's Lawlessness and Moloch's wickedness. I do not deny that in some cases it may be necessary to wage war, but in such cases men ought turn to the righteous goddess Iomedae and Her holy servants, who shall support those wars that are truly just while restraining their armies from immorality.

Lest you think this is solely a matter of spirit and not of real consequence, I have heard it said that Your convention is contemplating a declaration of war against Andoran, which would certainly damn nearly anyone who aided it. I pray that the men who have proposed such a thing will turn away from wrath and warmongering, but I fear this will remain impossible for as long as Gorum remains licit.

Authorized under the Eighth Publication Statute as a Petition to Her Majesty.

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Simplicio. War is bad. The queen should ban Gorum even though he's a neutral god.

Normalio. Look, I'm not going to defend Gorum here. I don't like war either! But of all the neutral gods he is really not the worst! Besmara is the goddess of actual pirates and she's completely legal. There are gods of the Maelstrom that can drive people insane just thinking about them. Erecura is literally a power of Hell. And you're going after Gorum

Simplicio. I do not think you understand how this dialogue format is supposed to work.

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