And now this door is not itself any longer, not quite.
"My dad is a regular dude. There aren't as far as I know irregular dudes on the police force."
"Yeah. Of which vampires are the most common kind, depending on who you ask - some people think they are technically not demons, it's a thing. And then there are lots of things that are definitely demons. Some are just, you know, people with bizarre non-earthly cultures, but most of them are pretty actively malevolent."
"No, there are also some non-demon supernatural beings. I'm not sure 'demon' is actually a natural category, but basically it gets used to refer to creatures from other planes which are not humans, divinities of some kind - I'm even less sure how those are defined - part-humans, ex-humans, or, like, plants, and even then it seems like people say 'demon plant' to refer to plants native to demon dimensions, i.e. any dimension other than the one where most humans live."
"Slayer thingie?"
"They have some kind of mystical mumbo-jumbo that empowers random teenage girls to punch the forces of darkness in the face, one at a time, new one shows up when the last one dies, apparently they have a quote support system close quote in the form of a sinister organization that encourages the reluctant ones to die."
"Is there anything about this universe that isn't terrible?"
"I assume you have, like, churros and sunsets and Shakespeare in your world and won't be impressed that we have those things?"
"My universe is absolutely terrible and if it weren't so inconveniently inhabited by innocent people I would cheerfully abandon it. I understand the impulse completely."
"I kind of feel like I should name it. I'm going to name it Sunshine. To be ironic and prevent you from referring to it with Amityville references."
"And how many non-Amityville nicknames did you come up with for it?"
"That's beside the point."
"I really doubt it is."
"Well, if we're naming worlds, what shall we call ours? Not-Terrible Land?"
"Please come up with something serious, Gloria, you're the artistic one. I'm sure we'll all regret it if I have to do it."
"Hm...why'd you pick Sunshine, Bella?"
"Irony. Sunshine is cheerful, pleasant, and sets my kinda vampires on fire."
"Maybe spend more than five minutes thinking about it, Gloria."
"All right. Well, I do like Masquerade, but it's not as overwhelmingly relevant as Sunshine is, so if I think of anything better soonish we can replace it."
"The back hallway doesn't currently connect to this door," Gloria says. "...I don't think so, anyway? Klaudia, could you ask Bar what happens if Chris tries to get here through the back hallway?"
"The back door to the club has been hijacked by a completely different bar. That talks with napkins," Chris observed. "Do you have any idea who did this?"
"It seems to be random. And done by the bar itself. In several different universes. On that note, this is Bella, she's from a completely different universe, it sucks, we were hoping you could magic something that would help."