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"Okay. I mean, I'm not disagreeing with you, she's a cute person."
Klaudia raises an eyebrow.
"Not that kind of cute, dearest."
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"Um, hello? Gloria? Jeanine says you want me for something?"
"Speak of the devil," Gloria murmurs. "Shenanigans! Ones that aren't going to involve people trying to kill you this time!" Gloria calls out.
Presumably-Hepzibah comes into view. She looks like she could be Egyptian, and speaks with an implacable accent. "My favorite kind."
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"Potentially lethal shenanigans are so much less fun. Hi, I'm Bella."

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"Hi, Bella. I'm Hepzibah. I assume that you're involved with the shenanigans somehow."

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"Yep. In my universe I am what is called a vampire slayer, which occupation is needed because where I'm from vampires are almost invariably terrible serial killers. Also there are other, non-vampire things that fall under my job description. And my power set is stupid, so any little bit of extradimensional help could be a big deal if it's the right swag."

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"That's terrible. But what am I supposed to be able to do about it?"
"Run to Radioshack and pick up as many ultraviolet lasers as they have on the shelves. Her variety is flammably allergic to that bit of the electromagnetic spectrum."
"You're kidding."
"Don't I wish."
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Bella pulls hers out and displays it. "I have some, but occasionally I manage to rescue a snack and I'd like to be more helpful than 'get jewelry with crosses on it and don't go out after dark or invite people into your house'."

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"Hunh. Well, sure. Do you have a company card on you, or should I get a receipt?"
"This is personal shenanigans, not business. Get a receipt, I'll reimburse you later out of my own money."
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"If one of these things could maybe save a life, that's more than worth the price of however many of them there are."
"Wait, what's that room? It doesn't look like the back hallway."
"This is Bar. She's a worldhopping bar who periodically hijacks doors. She's how I met Bella."
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"In my case instead of not looking like a back hallway it doesn't look like a dollar store."

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"And apparently they didn't have any laser pointers. All right, I'm off. Are we not opening tonight?"
"Jeanie's taking care of opening."
"Won't matter much if you send the entire staff off on errands."
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."
Hepzibah snorts. "You and your devil-may-care attitude. It's a wonder you've kept this place open this long. Well, it seems to be working, anyway. Radioshack ho." And she departs.
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"Maybe you can get the bar here to mix drinks and save yourself the need for a bartender per se."

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"I think I'd still need someone to ferry the drinks out to the club."
"I doubt the bar here knows your particular recipes," Klaudia snorts.
"I don't think she needs a recipe, darling, she can do anything. Ooh, you never got to try me before I was turned either, I went first. You can get a glass of that if you want."
"What, really?" Klaudia asks, and goes over to investigate the bar.
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Hello. Can I get you a drink?

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"Can you really...what Gloria said?"

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Certainly.

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"Huh. Alright then, I'll try that."

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A glass appears.

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Sip.
"Vaguely recognizable, interesting. Thank you."
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You're welcome, of course.

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"So how much was this, I should probably have asked before I started drinking it."
"First drink's free, darling, or that's what she told me, anyway."
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That's correct. Further glasses of the same will be $8 in your currency.

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"Good to know."
"Bella's father is a policeman," Gloria adds. "I thought it might not be beyond the realm of doubt that you'd have relevant advice on dealing with nonhuman arrestees."
"Be nonhuman yourself is a good start," Klaudia says dryly. "When we have to send in the human members of the precinct to deal with someone likely to be both violent and spooky, which thankfully does not happen often, we generally issue them full riot gear. I have no idea if that in any way applies to your situation."
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