"Do I want to know what kind of stupid and unethical Slayer-related behavior? I suppose it doesn't really matter, does it, there's not much I can do about it from here. It's 2026 in my world, what about yours?"

"2005. So that's promising, depending on what's within errand reach of your door. But, well, consider that, one, Watchers view Slayers principally as tools for keeping demons and vampires under control, and two, Slayers are non-volunteer randomly selected teenage girls whose title passes only when one dies."

"You think they're encouraging a high turnover rate?"

"I don't think they have incentives to kill off the average Slayer - training does make a difference in effectiveness - but if one doesn't want the job on account of the job not caring if it's wanted or not? Easily."

"I see. The one you've got with you, you described him as decent, I'm guessing he'd side with you over them if it came down to it?"

"Probably. And I mean, I don't object to saving the world as an occupation, I just object to my limited institutional backup and my stupid, stupid power set. I have to punch things. It's really dumb."

"That is really dumb. I do hope you haven't decided to give in to the idiocy by not acquiring suitable weapons. What I actually meant, though, about your friend, is that it might be worth asking him not to overtly disobey them if they told him to do something nasty to you. Claim you worked it out or avoided it somehow. Having an inside man in a creepy sinister organisation sounds rather useful, don't you think? I imagine if he's with them in the first place he probably wouldn't spy on them for you before they've proven themselves overtly terrible, but."

"I have a crossbow, I have stakes, I'm considering various bladed options - my powerset comes with competence at physical combat generally, but it's still dumb. And that's probably worth bringing up with Giles, yeah."

"Yes...I'm trying to remember what things have been invented in the past twenty-one years, and I'm not coming up with much that's both useful and portable. Smaller electronic devices, sleeker cars, they've started replacing asphalt roads with solar hexes...Klaudia will probably have a better idea, she likes mechanical things."

"My vampires don't like ultraviolet, I have porch lights that take advantage of that and a UV laser pointer but the laser pointers were invented by someone now dead and the noble work has not been taken up so I can't distribute them like party favors... if you have good automatic translation that knows ancient languages that could help with the prophecies in Sumerian and what have you with less laborious work from my Watcher..."

"I have no idea whether we have decent automatic translation that knows ancient languages. I know someone who knows ancient Egyptian circa 1800 B.C.E, if that helps. We use ultraviolet light in the club--that's what blacklights are. I don't know about laser pointers, but it wouldn't surprise me."

"I don't have anything on me in ancient Egyptian to translate, I was hoping for a futuristic widget."

Bella peers to see who's speaking.

"I'm Bella. What's your name?"

"Gloria. Gloria Scott. What an embarrassing oversight."

"No big deal."

"What's the magical artifact?" wonders Bella. "Is it cool?"

"It...is keeping the aforementioned cocktail waitress alive. We prefer not to tell people too much about it, because that results in people kidnapping her and trying to kill her. No offense to you, of course, but talking about it overmuch is not a habit I want to be in," Gloria explains.

"All right. Not gonna kill your cocktail waitress."

"Nice."

"We've been friends forever, she's used to it. The shenanigans I dragged her into growing up were less physically improbable, but not, from her point of view, less dramatic."