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"I wish there were anyone near my door to send on errands. My boyfriend would be ideal but I could make do with my Watcher or my dad."

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"Do you not have a phone on you?"

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"Lizard demon flung it against a wall, battery popped out and fell into a pool of dog blood, I can't be sure the phone itself is busted but I don't want to try putting the battery into it."

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"Ew. Well, I'm very fast, if you hold the door and gave me directions I could maybe run to someone and ferry messages and/or borrow a phone."

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"My boyfriend'll be asleep, my dad'll be at work, and I don't actually have Giles's home address - I'm not saying it's impossible but there's nothing we obviously need from my world, so may as well hold off until then."

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"It might not be useless to send my wife to talk to your dad, come to think of it, but you're right about not obviously needing things. I'm assuming Giles is your resident member of the suspicious society?"

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"If I can't find any good translation doohickeys--and I do think I'm coming up blank on that one--it might be worth trying to see if he has anything in Ancient Egyptian that Hepzibah could translate."

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"Maybe. I don't remember seeing a lot of hieroglyphs around but maybe it's a thing."

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"Mhm. Not the most useful resource, but one does what one can with what one has."

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Motorcycle noises become audible, and after a minute one pulls up. The figure on it removes her helmet, letting down a cascade of straight black hair.
"You're lucky it was my night off," the figure remarks.
"Don't pretend you didn't want to come, dearheart, it doesn't suit you," Gloria chides. "Klaudia, this is Bella, the person from Amityvillesworld I had a misunderstanding with. Bella, this is my wife, Klaudia Black."
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"Amityvillesworld? Anyway, hi, pleased to meet you."

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"The Amityville Horror is, predictably enough, a horror movie. Good to meet you to. Thank you for not trying to kill my wife."

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"You're welcome."

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"Right now the things we've thought of that might be helpful are some kind of Sumerian translator, or similar dead languages, and ultraviolet laser pointers, because apparently her kind of vampire are allergic."
"Really."
"To crosses and holy water too."
"Any 'silly mythological weakness box' they don't check?"
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"If they're allergic to garlic it's not very. Pretty sure they can cross running water."

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"We get sunburns more easily than humans, have circadian rhythms that want us to be nocturnal, and dislike garlic but aren't allergic to it. A stake to the heart or cutting our heads off will kill us, but then that would kill a human too. I've heard rumors of vampires being harmed by holy symbols of religions they objected to for some reason, but nothing substantiated," Klaudia notes. "...Hm. Do your kind of vampire have a heartbeat?"

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"We...do, but it isn't exactly necessary. If we're hit by a heart-stopper curse it's mildly uncomfortable but it doesn't really hurt us. I think vampires do technically qualify as undead, but most kinds of undead are good at disguising themselves as living."
"Vampires," Gloria explains, "are not the only thing you can be that used to be human and isn't anymore. Werewolves I know are completely alive, but the rest..." she shrugs. "The, ah, artifact Jeanine mentioned? Saying it keeps Hepzibah alive isn't completely accurate."
Klaudia shoots Gloria a look.
"She's not from our universe, dearheart, I sincerely doubt she's going to have the opportunity to do anything untoward, and she hasn't given me any reason to mistrust her. But yes, there's a very good reason she speaks ancient Egyptian. And she looks perfectly vital."
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"You've got a mummy cocktail waitress?"

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"That's sort of cute."

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"Okay? I'm not sure how it's any more cute in particular than the witch mixologist or the bar staffed almost entirely with supernatural beings being called 'Monster Mash' in the first place."

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"No, I just mean, if I heard about a mummy at home it would probably be followed by 'and it is spreading around a curse that is causing everyone in town to hallucinate their worst nightmares and/or bleed from the eyes and/or burn all their toast, and then I'd have to kill it? And yours is a cocktail waitress."

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