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were the peak of my heyday
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Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-dum.

He grabs a glass of water. His face is doing something, and he realises that there was a moment there that he let slip, a moment to say something silly, to make fun of the situation. To make it light. He let it slip, and it got serious, and he can hear Tae-gun's heartbeat, and Tae-gun can hear his.

He drinks some water.

Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-dum.

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"What... would that... entail. Exactly."

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"I don't know!" he says—whoops, that was a bit more forceful than he intended, that's not—

—he doesn't undo. He doesn't undo.

Ba-dum.

"I don't know. I've never dated anyone before." It feels pathetic. It feels so pathetic to be 25 and not ever have dated anyone before and he didn't care before but suddenly he does. God, maybe he is a stupid BL protagonist. He's about to say a stupid BL protagonist line and he can't even stop himself. "But I'd like to find out. With you."

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.......aaaaaaa????

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"...can I... call you Tae-gun-ah?"

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Ba-dum ba-dum ba-DUM BA-DUM BA-DUM—

"Y-yeah."

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Yes!

"And... do you want to call me hyung?"

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This is stupid. This is so so so stupid. So stupid. He calls Juheon and Si-yeon hyung! Why is this different! This makes no sense!!!!!

"I. I can. Um. H-hyung. Jaeha-hyung."

BADUM BADUM BADUM BADUM BADUM BADUM

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Yeah it does make absolutely no fucking sense. No sense at all.

"Tae-gun-ah?"

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"Y-yes, h-hyung?"

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"Kiss me."

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Aaah.

"Yes, hyung." He's kissed Kang Jaeha plenty of times. Why is this different? Why does this feel different?

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-dum.

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There aren't fireworks, because fireworks are when they're both backlashed and fuck like rabbits. This is something different.

Ba-dum. Ba-dum.

Alright he gets it can you please fucking stop.

Ba-dum.

Whatever.

He pulls away and looks into Tae-gun's eyes. "I'm boring. I'm really, really boring. I don't have interests, because nothing ever interests me. I don't have hobbies, I don't do anything in my spare time. I'd call it depression but it's backlash. Maybe they're the same thing. But there isn't anything for you to know, anything I can tell you that you can share with your friends about me. I'm... going to need to invent myself, for you."

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"You said you didn't like horror movies."

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Blink.

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"Was that a lie?"

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"...no. They terrify me."

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"So I think you're not just... making it up. Yourself.

"But it's fine if you are. We can get to know you together."

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.........oh God that was the corniest line how did he say that with his facemouth excuse him he needs to catch fire and die.

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Ah.

Shit.

He lowers his face. "Fuck, Tae-gun-ah, you're messing with my head now. I'm meant to be the psychic one, here, not you."

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"I." He swallows and licks his lips. "My birthday's on Wednesday."

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"...yeah?"

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"My... friends are doing something. Some party or something. You could come. And, and we could do something else, too. Just us. Before, or after."

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"Are you asking me out on a date?"

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He shuts his eyes and nods.

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