"I don't know...maybe it's because penguins make sense, and sunfish are just objectively ridiculous."

"Their primary food is jellyfish. Do you know how many calories and nutrients there aren't in a jellyfish?"

"I can't say I've ever tried to subsist on one, but it seems to be working okay for sunfish."

"This is true, but it is bizarre that it's true. Well, evolution will fill every niche available, I suppose."

"You can't just leave all those jellyfish floating around, not being eaten!"

"Well, you can, but then something else will evolve to eat them!"

"You snooze you lose... out on jellyfish."

"I like the human niche much better."

"Sunfish probably think we look incorrect."

"Fortunately, I care even less for the opinions of sunfish than I do the opinions of other humans who are judging me."

"But maybe sunfish are the only holders of secret aesthetic wisdom. Maybe with a sunfish theme we could be omnipotent!"

"Hmm. I suppose if the human form is objectively incorrect, that would explain why things like wings and tails generally win one points."

"Turning into a cryptid is a prize for shucking your inferior original body plan."

"Not a prize I want to win, though, so perhaps I will forgo the wisdom of the sunfish."

"I have startled myself with the occasional weird opinion on cryptid appearances but I think I also prefer that you not be a sunfish."

"Are the weird opinions generally variations on a theme by thaumosexuality?"

"Yes. Like. You know that dragon who poses for photos sometimes, lives in Montana?"

"Vaguely."

"The day after I put on wings I saw a picture of her on a magazine and couldn't stop staring at her and it was so strange."

"That sounds extremely strange."

"Should I show you a picture of the Montana dragon, get it out of the way?"

"Sure, why not."

"Lemme see your fancy phone, mine doesn't have internet browsing."

Katarzyna hands the phone over.