"I'm flattered. I think we'll have the kingdom evacuated and integrated in six months? Under a year, definitely, and that's being smooth and conservative."

"Maybe you are also secretly gay," speculates Cricket.

Kib makes a choking noise.

"I feel like I am missing some context?"

"That was what it was the last time I could not find out what was wrong with someone."

"Cricket -"

"I do not mean you, you have not despicably led anyone to believe that you were truly fond of her and then broken her heart."

"...I feel pretty confident I haven't done that," Rúmil says. "Maybe there's something else wrong with me? My skin could be an unappealing color? I used to not have eyes?"

Cricket scoffs.

"Fëanáro beat me to it on developing an interdimensional teleport so we could go rescue Bella and flee Valinor? I thought Valinor was safe in the first place?"

"Are you trying to help Cricket hate you?"

"If it is apparently inevitable that Cricket will hate me, I want it to be for something other than leading you on. I guess I am a stickler for being accurately hated, and -"

"Hmmmm," says Cricket. "Maybe you pet cats incorrectly." He stretches out in Rúmil's direction from Boots's arms.

Rúmil pets him. And stares at Boots, flushing slightly.

Apparently Rúmil does not pet cats incorrectly. Purrrrrrrrrrr.

"You are very soft."

"I am!" agrees Cricket. "It is important."

"I do not think I have been leading Bella on but I would be delighted to play whatever role in her life she likes and if I gave her the impression that I loved her then I meant it."

"I did not coach Cricket!"

"Cricket doesn't seem very coachable! And you seem eminently capable of discussing your feelings, which is why I never raised -"

"Why are we having this conversation at the prompting of a rude cat -"

...Kib is amused.

"There you go," Rúmil says, burying his hands in Cricket-fluff, "I am excessively promptable by rude cats, there's a character flaw for you."

"Hm, no, I do not think listening to me is a character flaw," purrs Cricket.