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Taliar in Evil Arda
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If I had a soul maybe it'd stop me from hurting him, the way yours stops you from deceiving me.

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...huh.

He considers what he knows of Maitimo. That... sounds plausible.

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So if in three days you find yourself with a power to make Elves soulbearers...

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Hug. Your soul would be so beautiful. I hope I get the chance to see it someday. I have no idea if I'm going to come up with a power for it anytime soon, though, I don't have the first clue how big that power would have to be and I don't even know exactly how much power I have to spare right now...

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You think all of the powers for the war are going to stick?

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Not necessarily permanently, but - I've been working with the landshaping enough that I don't see it going away anytime soon, the perception's too generally useful, I'd be really nervous if I dropped godslaying because while in theory I know there aren't any more especially threatening gods around, the memory of thirty helpless hours under a rockslide is still a little too fresh... if I did all the reembodiments I'm going to need to do for a while, I could see my soul letting go of the resurrection set, maybe.

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Does that one work on people from your world, too?

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If I had a soul in front of me I could reembody the bearer, yeah.

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And you said the soul only sticks around for so long?

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Yeah. There's other people in Nuime with soul-resurrection powers, though, I'd be really unlikely to make the difference to anyone's survival even if I went home immediately, which I am not planning to do.

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Good idea. I am sure there's still more to be done in this world, even if we have a handle on things for the moment, and my father'd be furious if you skipped off before teaching him the language.

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I'd be delighted to teach him, I miss speaking it a little. And I'm not going to start worrying about how Nuime is getting on without me for at least another few years.

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By then I'm sure it will be no problem.

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Taliar smiles and leans on him comfortably, thinking idle thoughts about bridging the worlds and being able to flood both of them with his healing aura without having to so much as leave his boyfriend's lap.

A half-acknowledged thought in the back of his mind wanders to the memory of Maitimo's description of how to break him and observes that he's managed to avoid being aroused by it, except oh wait no not anymore he hasn't.

It hits him like a lightning strike, lights him like a torch, a stormfire jolt of want that leaves him burning with desire. Not for the exact parameters of the described scenario - the only person whose suffering he can enjoy is himself - but for the feeling of it, the vast helpless terror, devastation, desolation, the idea of being so utterly unmade...

He remembers Maitimo saying I'd hand your soul around to a couple thousand people and then wake you up somewhere and tell you I'd never loved you, or admired anything about you except the way you spread your legs; and he shivers, and wonders if the mental state he's imagining is even possible to achieve. If Maitimo was really seriously trying to break him, seriously enough to torture and mind-control nonconsenting victims for it, Taliar's mind would be pressed down into a diamond-hard core of spite; if he wasn't, then their love would still be there for Taliar to hold onto, he wouldn't feel so lost and alone. But if and when they ever revisit the subject of bad days, Taliar is tempted to challenge Maitimo to get him there, to take him apart that far and then watch him put himself back together.

For a blank half-second he's too stunned to react to the turn his mind has taken. Then he bursts into incredulous giggles. In retrospect it's blindingly obvious, of course he lights up for this, of course, it was inevitable as soon as he conceived of the possibility - he must have been instinctively suppressing the thought, and then the suppression relaxed as he gained more comfort with the subject being safe to think about, and it floated into his mind at the next opportunity. It's such an incredibly intimate thing, to be this vulnerable, this deeply understood. He loves knowing that Maitimo could destroy him more thoroughly than anyone or anything else in the world, and he loves being able to feel completely safe with him regardless.

And being perfectly obvious and inevitable does not make it one bit less ridiculous that he's having this reaction to his boyfriend describing how best to psychologically torture him.

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...he also starts giggling. You really are something else, Taliar. 

 

- who takes everything as a challenge, who takes mistreatment as a challenge, who just keeps giving of himself no matter what the evidence that he is giving something not properly appreciated -


I would like that. When you're ready.

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Giggly hugs.

Might not be for a while, but I'll want it someday, now that I've thought of it.

Other results of him thinking of it: he's in something of a whatever-you-want-to-do-to-me mood right now, or will be as soon as it's not being mostly displaced by a gigglefit. It is very much being mostly displaced by a gigglefit at the moment. The things I've done to my head over the last few months... I love it, I love you, I have no regrets at all. But it's so ridiculous, the kinds of things that can start a fire in me these days.

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You made yourself what I needed and it's - it's incredible -

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It's so nice to be appreciated for his accomplishments.

Of course I did, he says. All this was inevitable from - well, if he thinks about it, from the time that he first put Maitimo's hand on his soul. That is the point at which it became irrevocably true that Taliar is going to love Maitimo forever. The rest flowed from that commitment.

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I should really have caught on faster.

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Caught on to what?

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Believing you about yourself.

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Oh. Hug. It took the time that it took.

He does tend to get frustrated when people don't believe him about himself, but - it's understandable. He doesn't mind that much. The proper response to being doubted is of course to prove the doubter wrong.

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He is very much not doubted. You need more rest?

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Oh, hey, he's done giggling, how about that.

I am feeling very well-rested at the moment! How much time do you have to spare right now?

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