I have a crush on demon cam not the kind where you kiss them the kind where you torture them
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I CAN MELT MY CHIP IF JIM LETS ME OR IF ITS REALLY AN EMERGENCY IF I LET YOU DO BRAIN SURGERY ON ME BUT ID RATHER NOT UNLESS YOU CAN DETERMINE ITS ACTUALLY A PROBLEM

ID HAVE TO REMAKE IT TO USE MY COMPUTER WHICH IS SECURE ENOUGH TO HANDLE DEMONS WHO CAN CONJURE ANYTHING WHETHER THE OWNERS OF THE ANYTHING LIKE IT OR NOT

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"That makes sense. I doubt it's a problem, ours aren't and ours are networked."

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YES JUST THOUGHT ID MENTION IT FOR COMPLETENESS

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"Thanks." He suddenly stands at attention; a minute later footsteps can be heard in the hallway. 

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Cam is still sitting on the ground next to his alphabet blocks; he looks up and doesn't stand.

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"Hello."

     "Sir."

"I think we've kept you, what, six hours past end of shift? Do tell everyone it was my fault, but don't tell them more than that, please, we have attempted to maintain some ambiguity about where exactly we sent them. Can you introduce -"

   "Of course, sir. Cam, this is Prince General Canafinwë Macalaurë. The other room is Jim, she's still sleeping."

"Thank you. That'll be all."

   "Yes, sir." He leaves. 

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Canafinwë Macalaurë says cheerfully. "The last time new people appeared unexpectedly it was several hundred years ago and an unmitigated humanitarian disaster. We got luckier this time, and I'm deeply grateful you decided to hear us out."

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NICE TO MEET YOU taps Cam.

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"I brought the next couple chapters of the books." he pulls them out of a folder and hands them to Cam.

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THANKS Cam replies when he has accepted them.

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"Of course. The translators are enjoying the challenge. The ones working with Dwarves have gotten lots of economics lessons in the context of figuring out which words from your language corpus represent the ideas in theirs."

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IS THAT SOMETHING I CAN HELP WITH

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"You can definitely at least let them know if anything in there is confusing! And we'll arrange for you and for Jim to meet more formally with their representatives at some point, that's just complicated by trying to disguise your location." 

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MAKES SENSE

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"Is there anything else I can get you?"

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ILL WANT ANOTHER MEAL SOONER OR LATER BUT NO RUSH

ARE YOU A DIPLOMAT IN ADDITION TO A PRINCE GENERAL

YOURE MORE DIPLOMATIC THAN THE OTHER GUY BUT THAT WOULD BE A LOT OF JOBS

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"Prince isn't really a job, it's just the excuse they use to give you other jobs. Before there were any armies to command most of the jobs it dropped on me were diplomatic ones, though."

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GOTCHA

I KEEP EXPECTING TO BE ASKED A LOT MORE QUESTIONS

I WILL NOT TAKE IT TO BE PARTICULARLY HOSTILE IF YOU ASK ME A LOT OF QUESTIONS

I GUESS YOU MIGHT NOT BE SURE IF YOURE GOING TO TELL JIM WE CONVERSED

SHE WOULDNT LIKE IT

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"Answering your questions seemed a bit more urgent, as you're the one who is stuck here with no information beyond that we are religious fanatics who bomb refugees. I do have a long list, though."

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I WOULD DEFINITELY BE ASKING MORE QUESTIONS IF I COULD WRITE THINGS DOWN

LACKING THE ABILITY TO ORGANIZE MY THOUGHTS IT IS MUCH EASIER TO RESPOND TO YOURS

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"You're from a different planet than Jim's? How do people get between them? Do you happen to know where they are - any identifying attributes of the star or the galaxy -"

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I LIVE IN HELL WHICH IS A DIFFERENT UNIVERSE FROM JIMS

DEMONS CAN BE SUMMONED TO JIMS WORLD BUT DO NOT OTHERWISE LEAVE

HUMANS NEVER ENTER HELL

THATS SIMILAR FOR THE OTHER TWO DAEVA SPECIES WHO HAVE THEIR OWN WORLDS TOO

HELL STARTED OUT AS INFINITE EMPTINESS BUT DEMONS HAVE BEEN PUTTING THINGS IN IT SINCE WE STARTED EXISTING SO NOW IT HAS STUFF

JIMS WORLD HAS A LOT OF STARS AND PLANETS AND SO ON

HUMANS HAVE SETTLED ONE SOLAR SYSTEM BUT NOT GOTTEN FARTHER THAN THAT YET

THE STAR IS NEAR THE END OF AN ARM OF A SPIRAL GALAXY

ITS YELLOW AND MEDIUM SIZED AND HAS EIGHT UNAMBIGUOUS PLANETS AND SOME DWARF ONES AND AN ASTEROID BELT

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"Well, we'll look. We haven't explored much of our universe, though, I don't expect any luck with that. Do you have any ideas how you got here?"

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NOT A FUCKING CLUE

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"But you expect going back to work fine, and that happens if Jim - wants it or dies?"

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I MEAN IF SHE TRIED TO DISMISS ME OR KEELED OVER HERE AND THIS SOMEHOW DIDNT SEND ME HOME I WOULD ADMITTEDLY BE LESS SURPRISED BY THAT THAN IF SHE DID IT IN SYDNEY AUSTRALIA

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