"Uh, my species evolved. Yours probably didn't, I guess..." and he digresses to explain how that works, and then "but it is of course absurdly mysterious that the result of that optimization process would be something that separately some lunatic gods adopted for their pet planets."

"Finite but sufficiently large, and then the landlords selecting for entertainment value, would get you lots of oddly convergent histories -"

"Enough monkeys to actually write the complete Ainulindalë on a typewriter, yeah."

"What?"

"Idiom that will make no sense to you on at least three levels."

"I'm learning, but focused on things my world will need."

"Wasn't trying to suggest otherwise, I kind of can't imagine catching up from swords as fast as you're going to need to and I expect you'll pull it off brilliantly. The other Shiny Tree Arda alt's not much like you, though, there must have been something else in play...some kind of Enemy action, though I don't know how personally aimed -"

"In Ardas like mine people as idealistic as you would have died, ergo no story for the landlords, if that's the theory we're going with..."

"You keep saying that and I keep wondering to what extent it's a fair evaluation - I was prepared to blow up the Earth and kill all the orcs, the difference between you and the rest of us isn't ruthlessness, and I'm actually happy to stipulate it's not 'morality'... I could probably assassinate my cousins at need and I find Matt very comprehensible despite his having objectively done way more terrible stuff than you..."

"Because he's appropriately repentant -"

"Because he's putting the tradeoffs on the same side of the line as I was?"

"Huh. 

You going to get married?"

"No. And please please don't -"

"Can't. Our version's magic, remember, and men don't count -"

"I am really looking forward to having enough power to go have quite the talk with whoever builds the metaphysics of the shiny Tree Ardas. My world sucks in some ways but very obviously not ways that are anyone's fault."

"Your Valar -"

"Are probably above average for rulers, have no special advantages at anything including ruling except being daeva which is less of one than you'd think in a world with summoning, are nowhere near good enough but I have high standards..."

"Magic Valar are a lot worse."

"You mentioned the routine mind tampering, yeah." He shakes his head. "Anyway, pick up consent as fast as you're picking up electrical engineering and I'll stop being glad your world doesn't support gay marriage."

"Haven't touched him."

"If you get really tired of that you could always take the incapacitating oath off, let yourself back into your world, skip the time while he decides to come back -"

"You're not subtle, are you."

"At need. But I like you, so I've said what I want from the very beginning - no more oaths, get at least to the point of understanding that your alts all care about our cousins and will be upset with anyone who hurts them, give him time, win him back -"

"I told you I'd think about it." He takes a few catalogues and heads back upstairs.

"Take care."

And an unhappy flop.