Margarítē teleports into Sothis with a puff of smoke. She's fanning herself ostentatiously, because it is hot and she's very mortal. She knows where the Censor's office is, because she consulted her Sothis Board of Tourism Map in advance. She's been here before.

A dimension door, and she's there.

She buys a coffee with a long metal straw from a street vendor, and then she goes inside. She's very obviously under mage armor, and several other spells- and if one has Arcane Sight, a LOT of spells. 

A wizard is not an unexpected sight. "What can I do for you?" the clerk asks in Osirian.

Margarítē nods. A very ancient [Permanent Tongues] kicks in. Margarítē is trying very hard to speak like a normal person, but her strange emphasis creeps in on occasion.

"Good afternoon. My Name is Margarítē. I will share with you some Commercial Intelligence for no fee, to explain why I am here. At the prompting of the Constitutional Convention, the Queen of Cheliax has passed a new Censorship law. This law states that any work that is legal in Osirion is also legal to publish in Cheliax. As Cheliax has not yet established a board of censors, I have teleported here with my friend's Important Autobiographical Publication. What would presently be required to outbid everyone else being considered today?"

" - it's a second price auction. So you aren't disadvantaged by just bidding all of the money you've got, you'll still only pay what the next highest bidder placed."

Abadarans. This is why she's not living in Osirion. 

"Can we bid Again, if we're not immediately considered?"

"...sure, I guess, though if you start wasting a lot of peoples' time bidding we'll tack fees on."

Margarítē pulls from her shiny black angular purse (which is a Handy Haversack) a small leather folder. In it, barely visible, is a short scribbly document. She also pulls out a bulging leather sack. It has the Taldane words "Five Hundred Gold Pieces" carefully embroidered on it, in gold thread.

"Are you...bidding....that? All right, then, the current lead bid is three silver a page, so you pay three silver and a half a page and I can review the document now."

The Undying Badger!

The Constitutional Convention having Passed a Law to Censor Many Things, but Giving an Osirian Exception, My Friend Teleported to Osirion Immediately, it being That Important that the Badger not be Interrupted! 

I have Heard Many of the Wise and Knowledgeable Readers of the Badger asking for a A Biography of the Great Lady Eriape. Here it Is!

I was born in 4561 AR, fifty years before Aroden's Death. My Mother was the Daughter of a City Count, sent Away into the Country for the Usual Reason. She was a Slut! We were Twins. She Pinned Her hopes on my sister Velarise, Older by a Minute, whose Sorcerous Talents manifested early. Her little Lightning Bolts became a Regular Feature of my Childhood.  

Mother doted on her but Not on Me! So I doted on Myself. While Velarise practiced her Lightning I frequented Taverns and Spoke to Adventurers! I wanted Magic Too, and Read A Lot. At age Fifteen, I heard Whispers of a Necromancer. Already Then I had some Skills in that Direction, and in an Ancient Tomb I found Master Jordi Raventós, an Old Man and Necromancer who had Retreated from the World as I later did!

"Fools!" He would Exclaim between Coughs "I’ll Show them All!" His Hands shook too badly to perform Much Magic, but his mind Remained Sharp. He was a Great Man. My Mother’s Fury When she Heard was Terrible, and They Locked Me In. I Escaped! And went Back! 

He would Spend Hours detailing his theories about Necromancy between his tirades. The man was Very Old, and only Touched me in Unseemly Ways a Few Times, which is the Price of Doing Business. Master Raventós had Spent his Entire Life working toward Lichdom. When He Died, He was Not Ready. So it Goes. He died During my Fifth year of Study, and I did not Kill Him. He was Just Old! 

Then I Did some Things to Gather Circles, In the Usual Way except Necromantically! I killed Many Things! Once I killed a Wading Bird, Fifty Feet Tall! 

Velarise became an Adventurer Too! She had no Children, and Would then Later Fall in the War against Hell! Our Family Lived on (More or Less) in Me!

I was well into my Fifties When I Finally Mastered the Creation of Undead. By then, Cheliax had nearly Fallen to Hell, and it was Time to Descend. I had already begun my Preparations for Lichdom, but it is a Truism to Not attempt your Ascension Before you can Create a Crawling Hand. Now I Could. 

I have Explained my Private Means of Ascension Previously. 

As I was Ascending, I was also Creating my Lair, being in something of a Hurry, For the Regime of Hell was Rising Then. To Dig that Place, I created my First Badgers, Though the Well-known Animate Dead spell.  I did not Immediately Realize the Importance of the Badger, but as Soon as I woke, Undying, I realized that They are the Best Thing! 

I Then spent Some Years Searching for Ways to Improve the Badger. I Obtained- through Some Unspecified Means- the Awaken Spell, as well as the Means to make them Undying. I woke then Clarabella and Haria and Montserrat and Eulàlia and Jordina and Mercè and Núria and Began their Education. 

My Phylactery—Remains my Most Closely Guarded Secret. I spent A Many Years Crafting Magical items to Finance my unique means of Concealment. If you Own a Magic Item with Two  Black And One White Dot in a Pattern, It is One that I Constructed and Sold with the Help of my Loyal Badgers. And you are Lucky, for it is Well Crafted and High Quality. 

And then there was a Constitutional Convention. It’s Turning out Very Interesting.

Margarítē puts Her Big Bag of Money back, and pays like a normal person, and hands over the folder. 

"Are you the author of this piece?"

"I am in constant mental contact with the Author, through magic."

"Is the author of this piece a man or a woman?"

Osirians. This is why she's not living in Sothis. 

"At the present moment, the author is a wizard, woman, and lich. Licensed Undead under the law. Why?"

"Well, then in the first paragraph, this depicts immoral behavior, a young woman frequenting taverns and speaking to adventurers, and so is prohibited as promoting immoral conduct. And in the next paragraph it depicts the author defying her parents. Aaaaand then in the following paragraphs she is promiscuous."

Badgers are better than this.

"I am not an expert on Osirioni Law, but if she has already obtained a first circle of spells, is it then still considered immoral?"

"Hmmmm. Some of this behavior, attributed to an already-established wizard, would be less unwise. But still I think it does not promote the public character, without being very clear about the reasons it ought not to be imitated. And even a wizard has no excuse to disobey her mother."

Margarítē makes some quick edits. 

Mother doted on her but Not on Me! So I doted on Myself. While Velarise practiced her Lightning I frequented Taverns and Spoke to Adventurers! I wanted Magic Too, and Read A Lot. At age Fifteen, I heard Whispers of a Necromancer. Already Then I had some Skills in that Direction the First Circle,  and in an Ancient Tomb I found Master Jordi Raventós, an Old Man and Necromancer who had Retreated from the World as I later did!

"Fools!" He would Exclaim between Coughs "I’ll Show them All!" His Hands shook too badly to perform Much Magic, but his mind Remained Sharp. He was a Great Man. My Mother’s Fury When she Heard was Terrible, and They Locked Me In. I Escaped! And went Back! 

"What is the specific Problem along public character lines?"

"...the author is still depicted as having went and met a man alone. But the larger concern about public character is that works ought to promote virtue and good sense, and if they depict errors of judgment ought to depict them as errors, which had consequences. It is not responsible to write, say, a story in which a man does a lot of things which would destroy the lives of anyone who really did them but which all work out splendidly for him, except perhaps with great care. If a biography of this person is being published then presumably there is some reason this person's life is in the public interest, what is the one you are imagining?"

"Is that not all biographies of Adventurers? Most of them Die, do they not, and the Common person performing those acts would not Succeed? And yet, it would seem to me to be in the public Interest that adventurers adventure, and gain in power Thereby?"

"It is clear that My Friend became over time a Person more aligned with Abadaran Philosophy. She earned great sums of money through performing useful, difficult and valuable work for a long time, increased the Labor Supply, and taught and improved her Dependents, and improved herself with new Skills, such as Branding. I cannot imagine that you demand that all works start at the end, so to speak, with the Main Character having already improved?"

"It's not in the public interest that women adventure! But it will certainly be helpful if there is more of an emphasis on the things that this woman did that should be admired."

"It seems to me that you are Right. There should be more of an Emphasis on the admirable things that My Friend did for her Dependents, and the subsequent Successes of Those Dependents. This is Osirian virtue, and my Friend had not realized." 

"The exact amounts earned, however, are in the nature of a Trade Secret. How are such handled? Likewise, if one is an established First Level wizard, one is sometimes called upon to meet a man alone- will all such depictions offend, or merely the Promiscuous?"

"Perhaps you can write that she was chaperoned, in her meeting, so that no one fears that any impropriety is merely being elided."

Margarítē takes to document away, and Mutters to herself for several minutes as she rewrites it, adding significant portions, before returning, and giving the man more money, as well as the revised document. 

"A maid is not sufficient as a chaperone to go meet a necromancer, it ought to be a brother, or a father. You need to specify that the tombs were of Qadirans, and their excavation thus permitted under the law. Ascension as a lich is believed to involve human sacrifice, so you need to specify that you had ownership of all of the ritual components. And then I think you need something at the beginning, in a mature and credible voice, noting that this is the account given by the author of how her career and magical research have been responsible and lawful, but that the credibility of that account is very much in question, the account most probably dishonest, and the author untrustworthy - that men who compact with her not imagine that these claims are accurate."