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James has just gotten home. Earlier than usual, but he wanted to set an example and tell everyone it's totally okay to go home earlier today. Why? 'Cause he felt like it.
He unlocks the door to his extremely pretty and expensive apartment and walks in.
Everything is just as he left it: windows shut, TV off, shimmering pink-violet holographic panel hovering in the air over the coffee table...
...
...wait, what?
...wait, what?
He walks over to the shimmering pink-violet holographic panel.
James Orland"The Erogamer"
LVL: 1 (0 / 200)
Stats
DOM: 270 / 320
SUB: 145 / 520
BOD: 30 (+)
LST: 22 (+)
SED: 24 (+)
FUK: 29 (+)
PRV: 27 (+)
ERO: 10 (+)
Stat Points: 5
Money: More than anyone can reasonably count
Status Effects: None
Description: James is a trust fund baby who, through charm, wit, luck, and a complete lack of risk-aversion, managed to make it even bigger in life. Now the CEO of a major company and having founded and sold two successful startups, he's living the capitalist dream. Like many powerful entrepreneurs, however, he wants - more out of life. More excitement, more action, more variety. He has had his fair share of sexual adventures, and his thrill-seeking personality is what makes him a good fit for the Erogame.
Skills
Erogamer's Body (Lvl MAX): The biological ability to live your life as an erogame. Venereal disease doesn't exist for you, or periods or pregnancies or yeast infections. Arbitrarily large appendages can fit inside any of your orifices. You heal from all marks with a good night's sleep, ready for the next day's adventures. Other aspects of this skill depend on the BOD stat.
Erogamer's Soul (Lvl MAX): A different player might have received an Erogamer's Mind skill to unlock their potential and allow them to play the game as it is meant to be played. Either you really didn't want that, or your mind was already porny enough to impress the Erogame. This core skill only prevents your mind from being fundamentally and permanently damaged by extreme sexual experiences, and allows you to make voluntary use of the FUK, SED, LST, and PRV stats.
Erogamer's World (Lvl MAX): The consent of reality to live your life as an erogame. People are never too preoccupied to consider sex or romance, not while you're around. Bystanders won't ignore what you do, but they're unlikely to actually stop you. Those who do decide to involve themselves are drawn into the logic of the Erogame. If you go far enough that an authority sees no choice but to intervene… they won't treat you as a simple criminal. Other aspects of this skill depend on the ERO stat.
Perks
Married to the Job: Your work will always benefit rather than suffer from your ero activities. Time spent playing, or recovering from playing, the Erogame will never compromise your overall efficiency at work, no matter how many meetings you miss; your absences will always be plausibly excused without anyone needing to worry.
Additionally, every quest comes with a Company Reward, which defaults to +0.1% EBITDA at the end of the year; on completion of the quest, whether by success or failure, the reward is applied.
Info // Character Stats
LVL / Level: The quantified totality of your potency as an erogame character. The effect of this characteristic goes beyond just the 5 extra stat points you get per level, and the additional perk point you receive every 5th level.
BOD / Body: Your physical attractiveness, and other biological capabilities. At higher levels, your body becomes able to enact more exotic erogame events.
LST / Lust: The intensity of your sexual urges, and how easy it is to get you going.
SED / Seduction: Your ability to seduce others, to pique their interest and arouse their desire.
FUK / Fucking: Your ability to perform in bed and give others pleasure… or other sensations.
PRV / Perversion: Your descent into the world of naughtiness, fetish, deviance, and corruption.
ERO / Erogame Logic: The extent to which the world will bend---or can be bent by you---to create romantic and sexual situations in defiance of probability. Or at higher levels, physics.
DOM / Dominant Energy: Based off SED and FUK, fueling skills that invoke your dominance, sadism, or mastery.
SUB / Submissive Energy: Based off LST and PRV, fueling skills that invoke your submission, masochism, or service.
Info // Character Stats // Level
At LVL 1, and 0% progress toward the next level, you're at the very start of your new life.
You can increase your level by completing the quests the Erogame offers you, or by causing romantic and sexual events to happen to you or around you. The more difficult the challenge, the greater the rewards.
Info // Character Stats // Body
At a BOD of 30... it's frankly not clear why you've never even gone into modelling (and no, plausibly deniable rumpled pictures for TIME magazine don't count). You're consistently the most attractive person around, the kind people sometimes take secret pictures of to show their friends, and you should probably leverage this further than you have.
You can increase this stat through exhibitionism, and other acts that invoke the pure beauty and power of your physical form.
Info // Character Stats // Lust
Your LST of 22 is perhaps to blame for the above, only barely the highest in the average room. Make no mistake, you're much more likely than a random schmoe to be thinking about boning that cute boy in IT downstairs, but really is that saying much? Most people just don't pay attention.
You gain in this stat while experiencing sexual urges that are unusually intense or that go on unusually long.
Info // Character Stats // Seduction
At a SED of 24 you're clearly naturally skilled at convincing people that sleeping with you is a good idea, but you'd be a fool not to admit that your biceps and smile also take a big share of the blame. Gotta work on those seduction skills; you wouldn't want them to fall behind all your other persuasion skills, would you?
You can increase this stat by arousing the romantic interest or sexual desire of others, and successfully pursuing them or being caught.
Info // Character Stats // Fucking
Your FUK of 29 shows some dedication, for sure. You're unlikely to run into people who've had anyone better than you... but it's not impossible. Some practice would be welcome, here, and you really ought to look into perhaps doing some actual active searching for it rather than just, you know, figuring it out on the go.
How do you increase this stat? Take a fucking guess.
Info // Character Stats // Perversion
Given your other stats, a PRV of 27 is more a testament to your risk-seeking behavior and general outlook in life than anything about your perversion qua perversion. There is yet much to learn.
You can increase this stat by looking for opportunities to get even kinkier.
Info // Character Stats // Erogame Logic
At an ERO of 10, your life has become an erogame taking place in a mostly realistic setting. What happens to you might seem unlikely to others, but it won't break their belief in a sane universe… yet. Witnesses will reach for explanations other than the Erogame, but they'll still notice the unusual events.
If you keep pushing probability to its limits, then probability will learn to be a bit more flexible down there, relax and take it in and not protest so much.
Info // Character Stats // Dominant and Submissive Energy
If this were a different game, you'd have mana and hit points.
And they'd refill just from you sitting around on your ass doing nothing.
Lol
He looks around for whatever might be projecting this. He wasn't aware holograms were, really, you know, a thing mostly. But. Well.
...he taps the + next to SED.
BOD: 30 (+)
LST: 22 (+)
SED: 25 (+)
FUK: 29 (+)
PRV: 27 (+)
ERO: 10 (+)
Stat Points: 4
...okay! So he has four more points? He'll add 3 to LST, since that's the only one below 25... and one to FUK, to get a round 30. Sorry, PRV.
BOD: 30
LST: 25
SED: 25
FUK: 29
PRV: 27
ERO: 10
Stat Points: 0
Quest Begun: Outside the Pants (stat advancement: FUK 30)
You must prove your readiness before you can finish advancing the FUK stat to 30!
Leon Webber and Valentina Hart have never met, but they have more in common than they know. In particular, they share a somewhat uncommon kink: having someone else bring them to orgasm with their clothes on. As the Erogamer, it is your sworn duty to bring them this joy. Will you be able to?
Success: FUK 30, +150xp
Failure: N/A (continues until completed)
Company Reward: Someone in IT has a brilliant insight that finally reveals the source of a longstanding bug, significantly improving the efficiency of internal data handling.
...wait, really? That's weird. He never knew. He never knew!
Wait, wait, how does this... game thing... know that?
...
...uh... it might be a bit more surreal than he'd thought... but okay...
So he'll... have to go do that, then?
Quest Available: The Loneliest Mountain (Dreamworld: Greatsoul)
Zekanare of the West is a dragon. He has all the usual dragon hobbies: kidnapping pretty girls, making people fear for their lives, interior decoration. But as the millennia go by, he's getting increasingly dissatisfied with his life. It's lonely being the terror of nations! Perhaps you can help?
This is a DREAMWORLD quest. If you accept, you will be given a dream avatar in the target world. While you are awake, your dream avatar is asleep, and vice versa. Time is synced per wake/sleep swap rather than by unit, so you don't need to worry that if your dream avatar stays up too late you'll sleep through your alarm in the real world. If your dream avatar dies, you lose access to the associated world, potentially forever. Your dream avatar shares all your stats, skills, and other game attributes, but may have a different appearance.
Success: +250xp, unlock the Multiversal Quest Menu
Failure: Zekanare remains sad and hazardous
Company Reward: Default
Accept? Y / N
The Y flashes white, then the window fades out.
And what would he like to do now?
He supposes he's going to find Valentina, then.
Back to the elevator he goes.
Maybe they only show up at his apartment.
He greets the porter and informs him he was ambushed by a sudden desire for a pain au chocolat so he's going to Valentina's. And so he goes.
The bakery is as well-lit and pleasant-smelling as ever. When the bell on the door announces his entrance, Valentina looks up and waves cheerfully.
"Pretty good, you? A sudden need for baked goods at four in the afternoon? Should I be getting out the breakup chocolate?"
"I am, as ever, single, no broken hearts to mend. No, I just decided to call a short day today at the office and was suddenly reminded that you make the most absurdly delicious pains au chocolat that I've ever eaten, and I've been to Paris."
"Aww." She puts a hand to her heart. "You're a dear, James. One absurdly delicious pastry, coming right up—anything else?" she asks as she moves to fetch the requested treat from its tray.
"Hmm, is it too busy right now, or do you think you'd want to join me on a second pastry and some coffee? We haven't really chatted in a while, I want to catch up."
"Hmm..." She glances around at the otherwise-entirely-deserted bakery, double-checks the clock, tucks an escaping strand of hair behind her ear with the rest. "Yeah, I should have plenty of time for a break."
"Great! Then pick whatever pastry and drink you want and I'll have, mmm, a mocaccino, extra whipped cream, I'm in the mood for something sweet. And I'll be paying for it all of course."
"Of course." She chuckles, gets started on his coffee, picks out a second pastry, makes herself a needlessly elaborate milkshake because why not, assembles all these items on a tray, and rings him up.
So he can pay and pick a table for them.
"I think I was mistaken when I said I was in the mood for something sweet," he says, eyeing the cake sprinkles on the milkshake.
"If I'm going to take an unscheduled break to catch up with a friend, I might as well be maximally self-indulgent about it," she says, handing him his receipt, which lists a ten-dollar 'rich friends demanding my time' surcharge.
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