"I'm not going to ask you to put the memories back," she says, "don't worry."

"Okay. What happened?"

"Fëanáro was very sympathetic about me losing my memories and wanting them back, and said it'd probably make him crazy too, and I could have his of the same time period. So he tried sharing them, though they were mostly very blurry because he was so little, and I was - reacting, the way I do around him, and he noticed, and he got angry with me like he usually does. But usually he runs off and this time I told him I didn't know why it was like that and maybe we could figure it out. And we talked about possibilities for a few hours and then he did run off. And came back in the middle of the night and said he thought I'd sworn to hate him or something. And then I - remembered. It sort of fell into place. And I said that I certainly hadn't done that. And he said that it made the most sense given the information, and I had to agree that it did, and then I told him I'd go ask you what to do but we shouldn't go together because of confidentiality."

"Thank you. How have you been, by the way? He thinks very highly of you."

"Mostly okay. Fixed Rúmil's eyes, working on crystal balls and long-distance messaging." Are you sure that you actually remember and didn't just think of something that made sense? It's possible you knocked the veil loose but it's also possible you've placed a belief 'around' it.

I was in labor and it had been much longer than it was supposed to and hurt more and Finwë was terrified for me and I said 'Eru, I swear I'm going to kill my son if he doesn't come out today'. And he didn't.

So you knocked it loose. How are you holding up? Need a coffee thing or anything?

You know when you drop something really heavy on your foot or something and at first the pain is overwhelming but then even though it doesn't get better you can think around it? I feel like that. I doubt it'll last for too long, though.

Okay. I can put the veil back, but... that might not be the best idea. If I put it on firmly enough that him having most of the right idea can't knock it loose that's riskier and it'd make your conversations with him really confusing and I don't think we should expect him to leave it alone.

I don't think he will, no.

What does he think of his too-close guess?

He was angry at me for lying about not hating him, but I think he was - more all right than I expected. He wanted to know why, and of course I couldn't tell him.

You're allowed to tell him anything you want. Technically the thing you actually swore is more easily fixable than if you swore to hate him. Although I'm not really encouraged by the state of the reembodied I've met.

She shakes her head. I can't do that to him.

What can you do, then?

I was thinking if I was paralyzed then I couldn't hurt him but I think I'd go crazy, not being able to work - if we told Finwë and he had me arrested and guarded, anything where there was no way I could do it - but that'd cause such a stir, people'd be so confused and scared - it hurts a lot even to think of ways of getting around it -

I can't agree to you doing it forever, though, it'd still have to be once-a-month -

...I don't know that I can in good conscience gamble on my ability to do it that often without making an error.

I cannot let you do it forever. I am pretty sure it'd be physically impossible for me to give the words, even considering it is pretty bad. You - uh - you should probably tell Finwë everything, he needs to know-

Her eyes are watering. She squeezes her head between her hands.

- I could also take consent in non-spoken forms.

No. You don't have consent to permanently or even temporarily alter me in a way that makes it impossible for me to carry out my word. I am not trying to give you permission I am just hurting a lot.