"It doesn't feel like it's been almost five years. It feels like one."
"But I mean, like - to the extent when I got here I was nineteen I'm like twenty-three, twenty-four now. ...If the days are even the same. I should check if the days are the same, the Trees might be keeping me on a longer cycle -"
She goes home to her hourglass set. Six seconds, least casting of illusory sound. Ten of those to a minute, sixty minutes to an hour, twenty-four hours in a day.
She compares and does arithmetic. She can ballpark some of it without having to sit around all day, she has old notes on how much sand and how big the aperture -
And she sits back in her chair.
Something is desperately wrong with her sense of time and it's so wrong that she didn't notice - didn't even have the niggling urge to check - for a decade -
"I'm like thirty," she murmurs. "I'm like thirty and I didn't notice. The minutes feel about right but the days are twice as long as mine and I couldn't even tell, I've been here for a decade and I don't have a decade's worth of anything to show for it -"
"And that would be really impressive for a year and solidly respectable for two and, like, good try, if it were five, and it's been ten, I have had ten years in a science fantasy paradise with all the help I can think of how to use and negligible side demands on my time and I do not yet hold all time and space in the palms of my hands -!"
"Maybe my standards are unrealistic but this still isn't ten years' worth of anything. That's a third of my entire life, I have now spent a third of my life here and I have not gotten a third of my total absorption of information and production of work done and it should have been more than that because the first third I spent being a small child and the first two thirds I spent in a universe that bites if you try to do things -"
"I - I don't understand how this could have even happened in the first place," she says slowly. "I can see not noticing the days being long, maybe it turns out I rely a lot on noticing how tired I am for feeling when in the day it is and the Trees are perking me up so it feels like one day per day, I can buy that I'd miss a factor of two, that way. I can lose hours between sleeps and it makes sense. I don't know where my days went - no one was refusing to tell me how many days things were, it just - it didn't seem important - does, does something about the Trees or Valinor mess directly with time sense -?"