"So that would probably be something you could apologize for just fine, not something you feel like you have to stand by."
"Maybe if you can tell her in very concrete terms what makes you so awkward around her she'll be able to improve. What does 'trying too hard' mean?"
"Well," Bella says, "apparently whenever she eats breakfast with you she accidentally gives you impressions about how she feels about you which probably aren't what she meant at all, and if enough of those accumulate she might not be able to salvage anything out of her relationship with her only child; that sounds like something very important at stake."
"Yeah. Which is the sort of problem I bet she'd like to solve! But I'm not sure how actionable 'pretend it's not really high stakes' is."
"I think it would be really nice if you could figure out a way to do a project together without it being really uncomfortable the whole time but maybe that's a bit much to ask."
"I'm not expecting you to know right away. Maybe if you got good at perspective taking you could try to figure out what it is she wants when she does something you don't like - sort of like I needed to figure out what you were getting out of hitting your head on stuff, although it'd be a little harder because it might not be easy for her to describe it to you - and then tell her a better way to get what she wants."
"Then she needs to know how to make you feel loved and prided in because whatever she's doing isn't working, and you need to know how to not frighten her, and you both need to relax."
"I know. I know, it's so hard, I wish you had an easy family." Snuggle. "Families when you're growing up are supposed to be easy as practice for everything else and you don't get that and it sucks."
"Well, that makes you lucky in some ways but it does mean that when something you aren't naturally perfect at comes up you don't have any practice at having to practice."
"Nobody I loved has ever gone and done horrible things before. And I don't know why you would have done them, either, there wasn't very much context. I don't know exactly how I'd feel. But I would never think I was wrong to love you now."
And she goes and works on things in her house until it's bedtime and then she comes over to hand off the necklace.