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This is the wrong building. She could have sworn the RA said "take a left at Emily, first on your right", and Bella did exactly that, and here she is and the rooms in this place don't even seem to be numbered, it's all letters and names. She's not going to find Intro to Subtle Therapy in Room 206 like that. Maybe the RA meant take a left after Emily, not before Emily? Maybe she was supposed to go the other way around the quad and approach Emily from the other direction? She's going to be late.
Bella tries to get out of the letter-named-rooms building to go ask Emily for directions, but that's not a stairwell after all, and there's someone shouting at her not to come in and she flinches back and clonks her elbow on the door and boots or no boots she's down and she -
- is falling -
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subtly_artistic
subtly_artistic
Bella does a little mental arithmetic. Okay, once a month. And we can try to think of something better, in case there is something, but this will get you much improved right away. Who do you want for witnesses so it doesn't look like I just did it without permission?
I don't know. I trust all my attendants. Are you also going to erase this conversation, because otherwise I'll remember what I've sworn to do just from this conversation.
subtly_artistic
Yes, I'll make sure I get it all. But you'll be able to remember that you said I could.
Okay. Then we should find some people.
Yes.
subtly_artistic
Rúmil, I'm going to try something complicated and Miriel needs witnesses.
How many? he answers.
He comes a minute later, with one other person.
She can make some of my memories go away temporarily. When she does that, I feel better, but I also want the memories back and I can't remember the reason I agreed to let her. We agreed she can take them away and show them to me once a month, but I'm not going to remember why I agreed, so you're here as proof that I did.
Ready.
subtly_artistic
And Bella updates the extent of the cloud so it covers the conversation insofar as it must - have to get everything, have to make sure she doesn't remember remembering, remember a telling implication, remember any of the -
There.
And now -
Opaque.
There.
And now -
Opaque.
Miriel shudders, again, blinks at all of them - put it back.
No, I made a mistake, you need to put it back right now.
subtly_artistic
Bella looks apologetically at the witnesses. I may need help if she decides to follow me around or something.
I don't want to bother you, I'm done with treatment, I don't want magic messing with my head. I just want you to undo it and then I promise I'll never bother you again.
Anxiously. "Miriel," Rúmil says, translating as he speaks, "you wanted her to do this. You knew that afterwards you wouldn't, and you still thought it was a good idea."
But I can't live like this I need her to remove it. I want my memories back! I'd rather be sick than have a hole like this in my head!
But I can't live like this I need her to remove it. I want my memories back! I'd rather be sick than have a hole like this in my head!
subtly_artistic
...Bella decides not to opine that if Miriel can't function like this either because she's too busy begging for her memory back it's not an improvement and she'll undo it anyway. She is silent.
"Can you try it," Rúmil says, "for a few days? See if it gets any better? You thought it was a good idea, you wanted to do it..."
subtly_artistic
I could try leaving and see if that lets her concentrate on other things. Can you reach Tirion via non-smoke-signal if there's some kind of unexpected emergency?